How did I get this mean?

There is a colleague, Rick, near my work area who is in his late twenties and will casually catch up with me during the days. Yesterday however, I realized that I'd most likely ruined that new-found friendship.

We are both sarcastic, but I admit that I can be overly to the point of being very mean, short and rude. At least, that's what it seems to be to others, but deep down inside, I mean it in the most twisted playful way. Rick knew about my date this past Friday with Nate, and asked me how it had gone on Monday.  I filled him in on the details and we joked around about the things that had happened.

The next day, Rick told me he'd spent just as much time with one of his colleagues talking about life, as I'd spent it on my date with Nate (10 hours.) My intention was to be playful and quickly shot back with "Don't even think about comparing my date with yours." He tried to correct himself as he walked off and somewhere along the way mentioned that it hadn't been a date because she was married.

The next day I went to see him at his desk to ask him to finish telling his story and without looking at me once said "I noticed you have an attitude that's rather negative. You appear to be one way, but completely different at other times. You act very similar to my ex and the lady who used to have your spot, and I don't like people like that."

I was shocked. He'd set me straight, and I quickly realized my wrongdoings. My stomach sunk, so low and I could only muster "Well I'm sorry I offended you" as I hurriedly walked away. In the distance I could hear him say "No, it's not that you've offended me it's......." as the words trailed in the air.

All day yesterday, the thought just lingered on in my head. I felt so bad and embarrassed about what I'd done. Late last night, I wrote a note offering my apology with the idea putting it in the box with one of the blueberry muffins I needed to buy him back, considering I'd accidently taken it from his stash earlier this week. I slipped the note into my purse this morning,  and was prepared with my apology.  I figured he'd either accept the appology, or worse just let it sit and refuse, but I would have at least tried.  Once at work, I went through  my purse to get a dollar and the note.... which wasn't there.

What the hell? Where is it? Man this sucks. Everything happens for a reason? God works in mysterious ways? Bullsh*t!

Earlier this morning, Rick quietly greeted me at my desk, but quickly returned to his work area. Later on, he spent quite some time talking with my cubicle roomate and left, not before bringing back the book I'd suggested for reading last week. He said "I don't think I'm going to have time to read it" as he placed it on my desk.

Ouch. Cold shoulder maybe? 

Alright, well here's to attempt #2 tomorrow morning on the apology letter. I better not screw this one up again cause not talking is making things tense and very awkward.

Plus, take note- this might actually be the first time a woman has admitted that she was wrong, and he was right!

Proper Etiquette in the Workplace

Not too long ago, I used to work in an office environment. My employers were a team of brother and sister who had been in business since 1982. They're humble people, and we all had a good working relationship with them.

Except for one girl. Things didn't sit well between the Sister Employer and her.

Jennifer and I became very good friends while we worked in the same building. There were quite a few different companies for tax reasons, but were all ran by the Sibling team. Jennifer worked on the other side of the building and I would have to turn my orders into her so she could process them.  In my opinion, she was very good at her job; very fast, but didn't exactly exude positive energy. She was much younger- about 20 years old, and had been working there almost 2 years; so she took her job less seriously.

I wouldn't take her to be a very good team player; she often complained about the amount of work she had, and the tedious tasks she was given. Come 5 o'clock, she was already in the parking lot. She was very punctual when it came to leaving work. I often noticed she was very wasteful when it came to office supplies. When I would tell her to be more appreciative, her answer was "So? Don't worry- the company pays for it." It just never sat well with me.

She was a very generous and compassionate person with her colleagues however, I can never complain about that. But in the end, it was her missteps that ultimately ended her job.

She wouldn't ever tell the Sister Employer when she would take a vacation/sick day. Since the Sister Employee is in the same side of the building as I am, I heard her complaints, and decided to tell Jennifer about it, as cautionary advice.  She scoffed and said in her defense that she wasn't her boss.

Jennifer: I wasn't hired by her. I was hired by the other Executive V.P.

Ren: Ok, you may not have been hired by her directly, but she still runs the show. She's the one paying you. Just let her know next time. When I'm out, I let everyone know by email, regardless of the company they are with, and our relationship. It's a good announcement.... you know, just in case.

Jennifer: Whatever. She's just causing drama. We don't even work together.

On more than one occasion, I heard the Sister Employee said she was cutting her off, which resulted mainly in frustration of Jennifer's work, or when she didn't know she wasn't in the office that day. I can't blame her. It's only respectful to let the Owners of the company know you'll be out.

Sister employee eventually "let her go" due to Jennifer's company doing particularly poor in sales, and not making much profit. It was her way of cutting costs. Again, I don't blame my boss for it. Jennifer wasn't the only one- a couple of employees in the warehouse lost their jobs too. It was the poor economy. That year, we didn't even see a Christmas party.

Jennifer was given her final paycheck plus a week's worth of work as "severance pay." Pitiful in my opinion, but others have been let go for a lot less.

After 5 months from leaving the office, Jennifer made a surprise visit at work. She said hi to everyone except the boss who hired her and my boss [Sister Employee]. And it's not like she couldn't see them: We all work in an open area, so even if the V.Ps have doors, she made a deliberate act not to pass in front of their doors.  I thought she would make a gesture and offer to say hi to the two bosses, but nothing.

A complete snub, utterly unprofessional, disrespectful and uncourteous.

That lacks etiquette.

I understand that Jennifer may still harbor bad feelings about being let go, but she should at least have said "hello" to them, considering they are owners of the companies. And if she felt uncomfortable, then she should have not stopped by.

When her V.P heard her voice in the hall, he asked who was there, and we softly said "Jennifer."

V.P: Jennifer? Jennifer's here? [to one employee] Did you see Jennifer? Jennifer came by? Well why didn't she say hi? Where is she?"

Ren: She's in the lobby. Go see her.

So he did. I know there's no bad blood there, so she was very surprised and happy to see him. When the V.P came back to his office he told Sister Employer about Jennifer's visit and asked if they had seen each other. She said no.

After discussing the situation with one friend, he told me:

Vincent: Well, I don't know if it's correct, but I would have done the same. She's not obliged to say hello or see someone who fired her. Would you look at your boss and say hi with a smile?

Ren: No, I just wouldn't go. It's a snub.

Vincent: Well, you could go see your old colleagues if you had a good relationship with them without being obligated to see your old boss to say hi. Then again, she wasn't there to see her boss.

Hmmm, interesting.

What would you have done in this situation?