Why get me jealous?

BEG went away to a job this past weekend, and while I didn't hear from him at all, I really didn't give him much thought. I was spending time with my family as my father was visiting in from California for the weekend.
I managed to text him to say hi and see what he was up to, where he quickly shot me back:
"Hanging out with Julia and some friends watching the football game, talk to you later"

Wow. Bitter much?

I felt shut out, and I felt like rubbing my Euro trip in his face, but even then I knew it'd be rude to text back and forth while his "special squeeze" was around. I felt to leave it for the next available opportunity.

I crave attention. And when he was around, it felt great, even if I knew I wouldn't give him much of my time. Moreover, he had admitted that he liked having someone to come home to, which made it evident that he was looking for a permanent tail to be at his every beck and call when he was back into town (he travels quite a bit for his job; he's sometimes out for a week at a time.)


Has anyone felt neglected or jealous because some one wasn't paying attention to you like before?

My opinion on Open Relationships

Why do people insist on saying that open relationships are the worst thing possible?

My friend Jennifer gave me the most disgusted look ever when she asked if Sebastian and I were together and I told her "sort of."

"Why would you do that? So you guys are like what? F- Buddies? He can get what he wants, when he wants it?"


I hate that term, and though it may seem like that's all we are, it's not quite true. We're dating. How is that any different than when other people date? I know that a few years ago, I never would have imagined being in this position, but I can't quite dismiss it as being a terrible idea. Even though we are in an open relationship, we are still honest with each other. And we don't have sex with other people. At the current time, neither one of us is dating someone else. I did date two other guys, but I wasn't ready to the idea of being divided by them.

I think the reason why Sebastian prefers that term as opposed to the boyfriend/girlfriend exclusivity titles is because it scares him. I think commitment scares him because it ended so negatively the last time around, and I can finally understand some of it. I didn't understand it before, but I do now. I guess you have to experience the situation to comprehend the motions, right?

I didn't sleep with BEG when I had the chance; I couldn't. I didn't feel completely comfortable. I have to say that a part of me is....... relieved......... and grateful. If Sebastian wasn't around, I would have gone to BEG out of loneliness, but there weren't sparks to begin with. Maybe it had a lot to do with Sebastian being in the picture.


STDs has made dating a lot harder. Sebastian and I agree on this. And I won't sleep with someone new while I'm still with Sebastian. It's not safe.


BEG and I talked about STDs the other day when we met for lunch. I said that the new generation would have it a lot harder with sex because of the percentage of teens having STDs. He said that they had it a lot easier because 1 in 4 teens has an STD and makes it more acceptable as they become more open minded to the fact.

Ok, so maybe he has a point. I think however the only reason why he feels this way is because he told me he has oral herpes and HPV.

I'm currently happy with Sebastian. I'm happy because I can be joyful with him. He's someone I can spend my time with, share new moments with, visit new places and laugh.

Laughter- that's the most important thing for me.

And I'm not falling in love. It's dating. I won't let my walls come down.

"Lifetime free flights for baby born on plane"

OMG. Click here to read the story.

This has got to be the luckiest woman ever! She gave birth to her son during mid-flight. While I congratulate the doctor on board as well as the flight attendants, I couldn't help but think about certain restrictions that should be imposed for pregnant women while flying. I mean.... aren't there restrictions? Or is it just restrictions given by doctors?

I want to have a baby on board too!

He's happy..... but at what cost?

Things with Sebastian have been zen. As we were having dinner last night at Choo Choo Moving Sushi Bar, Sebastian began expressing his excitement for the Euro trip.

"I'm sooooo excited about this trip, aren't you? I mean I'm sorry about having to cut my family vacation in December, but I don't regret it at all- it's f***ing EUROPE!. This is the biggest vacation I've ever taken!" (He's going to his hometown in Redding, California the weekend after we come back from Europe)

"Yeah, lucky you that you have a tour guide to take you to France" I responded.

I was glad that he had enough enthusiasm for the both of us.

And then somehow, the conversation switched to us being "single."

"You know I haven't been unfaithful to you. I'm pretty happy right now. I went on Plenty of Fish the other day, and even though a girl sent me a message, I didn't feel like responding. "

This left me at a standstill because I couldn't figure out what he was happy about. Was he happy in his life right now because he was single? Was he happy with me? I didn't bother to ask because a part of me didn't want to hear rejection. So I just set it aside. And I've said it before, Sebastian gets even cuddlier when I ignore him or brush him off. Last night, in the middle of our sleep, he rolled over to me and hugged me tight. I don't know if he was asleep or awake, but it felt nice.

For right now, we're just in that "open relationship" even though "I don't want to see anyone else" he said.

Things with BEG and I have cooled down; we had lunch the other day after he got back from a week-long job on a rig out in Santa Barbara, CA. Our "relationship" has not changed- besides the fact that there are no amourous sentiments between us. I had made it clear that I didn't want to be exclusive with him. I wouldn't be able to devote 100% of myself to him; I am still dating Sebastian on the side, though I never admitted any of those things to him. I did however admit that I was seeing someone from my past. I just didn't specify how far back I was going.

We had a pretty good time, a lot of laughs. He had previously mentioned that he was seeing someone new, and still wanted to remain friends with me and hang out with his friends as well. He deemed me as "pretty f***ing cool" and wanted to continue being friends.  I mentioned being uncomfortable around his new squeeze and asked him how he would feel if I brought along a new guy into the picture.  He admitted that even though he had moved on and accepted the fact that I wasn't interested in him romantically, he would be jealous to know there was someone else involved.

Jealousy..... Yeah.... I don't understand that either sometimes. I mean, the only time I even considered being with BEG was when I knew he had found someone new and was spending more time with her than with me. I needed to feel jealous to know that he was worth something. WOW.

As of date, I haven't told him I'm going to Europe. I don't know how to break the news......

EUROPA

Continuing with our Euro Trip planning, we've decided to travel from Marseille to Rome by plane. The cost was 146€ per person for a total flight trip of 6 hours, versus 138€ for a train ride about 12 hours. Yeah..... I don't think I'm too excited about the possibility of getting hemorrhoids. Too much sitting hurts my tail bone.

I'm currently waiting at Sebastian's apartment for him to get off work so he can make this booking. So if we plan this right, I will be having breakfast in France, lunch in England, and dinner in Italy on my 25th birthday. I'm pretty excited about that part.


Here is an itinerary of our 12-day trip.

Transportation costs alone equal to approximately $1008 for each person. This includes:

• Airfare: all 3 segments together $731
• Houston --> London
• London-->Paris
• Marseille-->Rome (separate booking, 146€ )
• Rome-->Houston
• Train:
• Paris-->Marseille 39€

Lodging equals approximately $411 for the two of us.

• Hotel:
• London, 2 nights at £29 per night 
• Paris, 3 nights at 35€ per night 
• Marseille, 3 nights, free, Family Home
• Rome, 3 nights at 36€ per night

Currency Converter

Sworn in to the US of A

Today I went to my Citizenship Oath Ceremony in Houston. At 7am, I was sitting right there along with another 1600 applicants and their family guests waiting for the judge to hold a session and legally accept our applications.

I gotta tell you, it's been a very long and expensive road to being sworn as a lawful citizen. It all started in 1993 when my family and I emigrated from France to California in search of that American dream.

After 5 years of countless Employment Permits at $180 each person, lost files by the INS (Immigration and Naturalization Service), my father decided to hire lawyer at $1000 to help expedite our case. We were finally granted Permanent Residency Status in September of 1999. The yearly trips to the INS office in Los Angeles were now over. We had our passports stamped by an Immigration officer and were legally now residents.

We had 5 years to wait before we could petition for our right to citizenship, but somewhere along the way, we got lazy and left it aside. Our resident card (green card) was good for 10 years, and we always figured we'd get it taken care of before then.

Well, we surely didn't. About 6 months before the card expired, my mom started pressuring my dad and I to start the citizenship process; her card expires in March of next year. I don't know why it's different if we all obtained residency on the same date. I decided to ask my bosses for a loan for my application, and because they were also naturalized citizens, they were more than willing to help. The cost? $750 for the application.

The citizenship process went by without a glitch for me. It took exactly 4 months from the time my application was received to the Oath Ceremony. In between, I had to go get fingerprinted, and then take the civics test and be interviewed by an officer a couple of months later. My father submitted his application about 45 days before I did, and was right on track as well until the USCIS (United States Citizenship Immigration Service as it is now called) subjected his application for further review. He claimed his taxes in California, but his permanent residence in Texas. Since he was living in California, he would have to apply to be sworn into California, which delayed everything. To date, he has not heard back from the USCIS and has had to renew his green card because it expires next week.

My mother and Sebastian offered to attend, but I knew it would be very long, so I told them not to bother. The ceremony began 3 hours after our appointment date that morning, and 1.5 hours later, we were waiting to be called according to Alien Number to obtain our certificates. I also took 5 minutes to register to vote.

I currently don't have the original Certificate with me and can't share it with you because I handed it over to the Post Office when I went to apply for a passport. YES! I'm finally able to obtain an American Passport. Cost? $100 for the book, and another $60 to expedite and get it back in 2 weeks since I will be traveling in one month.

So it's done. I'm finally one of you! One of my V.Ps at work smugly asked "And you're willing to go to war if need be?" "If that's what it takes to defend my country, I will."

Expenses, Expenses, Ex Pences.

I got the good news this morning- my brother was able to secure us employee rates at the Holiday Inns in London, Paris and Rome. We are averaging out about $50 a night for 9 nights (we will be staying in a family house for 3 nights out of the 12)

The only things left for us to book is the TGV (high speed bullet train) from Paris to Marseille, down south by the Mediterranean Sea. The TGV is a train with a start-to-stop average speed of 173.6 mph. Maximum speed world record is 357mph. You actually don't even feel it going that fast. Cost of the cheapest ticket is 39€, or approximately $58 (1€= $1.49 as of 10/20/09) and the train ride lasts 3½ hours. Not bad for about 500 miles of travel.

We also have to decide on a way to get from Marseille to Rome. The train ride for that trip is 12 hours on a regular train, because the TGVs don't ride there. I still have to wait on ticket prices because their website is down. A plane ticket with British Airways is 146€, but takes 6 hours. It goes from Marseille, back to their hub in London, then down to Rome. We are weighing the pros and cons against the train trip. Even though we feel it'd be nice to see the countryside, I've done 6 hours of it before, and trust me, it isn't all that great.  So unless the price is half of that, we won't be considering the train.

I've managed to calculate the cost of Airfare, Hotel and the last two trains/plane, and so far, I've come up to $2425 for both of us. I won't be calculating food, attractions and shopping- we won't know how much we spent until the trip is over. But overall, we estimate a frugal $1500 each. I've capped my limit at $2000.

I also have a bank account in France with Euros, and will be using that to pay for the things when needed. Sebastian agreed to split the costs once back home. In the end, a Euro is still worth the same today and next month, whereas a dollar fluctuates. At the beginning of the year, 1€ was $1.30, so a lot has changed.
I figure it's best if he handles London, while I deal with France and Italy and their Euros.