Monday, October 15, 2012

Fooled me again

The IT Pilot appeared on my radar again. It’s as if this asshole had some kind of homing beacon on me; he kept coming back every few months, even when we’d both made it clear that it was DONE FOR GOOD. 

All of this oftentimes confused me more, scrambled my feelings, but I knew it wouldn’t happen between us again. He had already played me dumb three times- and what had President Bush said after the first time? "Fool me — [pauses] — You can't get fooled again." Maybe he was onto something there.

The IT Pilot and I had gone to play Bingo one night, because that's all we ever really had in common nowadays. However, this time, it was much more different. He admitted to seeing someone, and he felt it was okay to hang out with me (an ex) since she, too, hung out with her exes. So as I sat there at bingo, I realized we probably wouldn't be having sex that night (as had become the norm throughout time).

Fast forward another month or so, and in May, after too many beers at Bingo (once again) the IT Pilot texted me out of the blue to show me what he was up to. After bingo was done, I asked if I could stop by to meet his new pup (actually, it was a dog he'd shared with an ex a few years back, and had retrieved it once again) and he agreed. I played with his English bulldog for a while (I adore animals) and I came in and we began talking a bit more. I didn't want to hear of his new love interest, but I knew she wasn't putting out. And he admitted that he'd be pulling the plug soon. (He'd also confirmed this through texts.) 

We sat down on his couch and talked more, and all again, the story of "US" came out, and why it hadn't worked out, and why it wouldn't work out, and why it would never happen. However, this didn't stop him from putting the moves on me and undressing me and taking me to his bedroom. We had great sex once again, and a few hours later I left. I didn't hear from him at all that weekend, but it was to be expected, but on Monday, I received a long text from him. 

It mentioned that I needed to realize that what had happened that last night was a mistake and that it hadn't worked out between us, and would never work out between us. He wished me all the best, and that he'd never forget me, but it was time to move on. I responded angrily saying that it was his decision to end it. Later that night, I noticed he'd completely removed me from Facebook. Then a few days later, as I updated my contacts, I saw a new profile photo of him..... and her....

So THAT'S why he deleted me. He wanted to spare me from getting hurt?
I was bruised, upset, furious, jealous, enraged- all the feelings a woman scorned can experience. 

I had been his toy for a year (to the date) and now he was finally getting rid of me to pursue something with someone else. I felt used, and my ego was bruised. I felt stupid for having pursued someone for so long, who obviously didn't want to be with me.

What had I done to deserve such poor treatment? I could understand being used to fulfill a sexual desire when it's agreed by both persons, but to be strung along as well for a year? I vehemently hated this asshole. 

But each story has a happy ending. Too bad it was his, and not mine.

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