A failed attempt at sex

Nate and I had been exchanging a few flirty texts the week leading to, but hadn't planned on meeting up at all. I'd been out with my girlfriend Noelle and her friends at a club on Washington Ave. that Friday night. I was having a pitiful night, and was texting with Nate and arguing with Wes (go figure) trying to pass time until 2 am rolled by (since we'd taken a cab from my gf's house.) I'd had a few drinks, but was suffering from a painful bladder. Apparently, when I drink, my bladder falls asleep with me, and if I don't remember to pee, I suffer from total blockage the next morning.

Somehow, while I was chatting with some guy, I completely forgot to use the restroom, and was the slave to the porcelain god for a good 15 minutes, unable to even squeeze out a drop. I joked about this to Nate, and somehow, ended up accepting his invitation to pee at his place up in Cypress, about 40 minutes away. When the lounge closed at 2:00 that morning, Noelle said she wanted to go out to her friend's house to sing some Karaoke. I was ready to head over to Nate's then and there, so I told her I needed to go get my car, which was only 10 minutes away.

I called Nate on my way out to his place, and I suggested he order us food since I hadn't eaten all evening. He asked what I wanted, and when I told him Pizza, he said he'd look for an all night pizzeria who would deliver. I arrived at his apartment, and was greeted by his dog Lady, who I hadn't seen since August of last year.

Wow, had it been that long since I'd last seen Nate?

We talked and caught up about small stuff, and genuinely had a few good laughs. We settled down into the couch together and started watching The Sopranos. A little while later, he started caressing my hair and moved my head around to kiss him. I really don't have memories of us having makeout sessions prior to this, just simple kisses.

At around 4:00 am or so, we went into the bedroom, still reeling from excruciating pain from my inactive bladder. I could hardly move, and Nate was up and ready to get down to business.

Oh crap....

I told Nate this, and he encouraged me to use the restroom as much as I needed to get the show on the road. I would get into the bathtub, run the water and push with all my might to try to empty out my bladder, but it just wasn't cooperating. I came back into the bedroom and asked Nate to get a condom out.

"You and your f*cking condoms" he said laughing.
"Well, I'm not on any birth control right now, so yeah, you kinda have to" I said sarcastically.

We proceeded to have a repeat episode of our last show during the summer last year, where as soon as he would put the condom on, he would lose the erection.

[sigh] Great. Here we go again.

"I f*cking hate condoms" he said.
"Why can't you do it?" I asked.
"Cause I can't feel anything with it!" he replied.

We tried a couple more times, to no avail, where at one point, he took off the condom, and
tried without it.

"Stop it Nate. I told you, I'm not on birth control" I said sternly.
"Don't worry, I'll pull out" he said.
"And come where?" I asked him.
"I don't know, on your stomach" he counteroffered.
"Ew, no. Just stop" I told him.

A few thrusts later, Nate stopped and laid back down defeated.
"I hate you" he said.
"Yeah, I know" I replied.

A few hours later, around 7:00 am, I woke up, unable to urinate still, and decided to head on home. I kissed Nate goodbye, and dashed out the front door. Once home, I hopped in the shower and continued pushing. It took me nearly all day to pee and feel comfortable. I later realized that I had probably suffered a urinary tract infection, making it nearly impossible to empty my bladder because I was completely blocked up.

The next night, Nate texted me asking what time I'd left in the morning.
"Around 7:00am or so" I answered.
"Oh wow, I didn't even notice" he replied.
"Really? You said bye" I said.
"Yeah, Nyquil knocked me the f*ck out last night" he ended.

Well, I'm glad one of us doesn't remember it then.