Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A surprise from the IT Pilot

It had taken me a couple of weeks to admit to myself that Joshua had a closer relationship with alcohol then he'd ever had with another human being.

His best friend Ben Franklin had casually told me that people fell in love with Joshua when they met him at first. I could understand why. Joshua was extremely outgoing, funny, exceptionally witty and could make us laugh. If taken in small doses. But as soon as they hung out longer than that, they HATED him.

Hmmm.... I really can't see why.....

I'd spent three weeks with him, two of which had been spent fighting over the phone and arguing face-to-face. I didn't like the stress. It was unneeded and I sure as hell didn't deserve it. He didn't have much to give either- he was broke with no job and a terrible habit.

I decided that the next time he called (and got into a fight with me) I would tell him it was time to end our friendship. Which is exactly what happened.

Except he didn't really believe and/or accept it since he continued to call back to check that we weren't friends anymore, you know, just.... for real. Taking him off of Facebook didn't hint at it either. The only thing that sucked was that I'd forgotten a necklace, a Christmas gift from my mom, and a Biolage pot of conditioner balm at his place one morning before leaving for work. I definitely wasn't okay with forgetting a $25 pot of conditioner balm, so I tried to play nice and make arrangements to get my stuff back.

His friend Ben Franklin had mentioned that he'd purchased tickets to the Houston Symphony. Joshua had already gone a few times, and had suggested that I go with Ben instead, because "Ben's a great guy, and don't break your friendship with him just because of me." I'd never been to a symphony, and definitely wanted to try something new, so I picked up Ben and we went together. That night, I asked him if he could do me the favor of gathering my things from Joshua so that I wouldn't see him. And I also mentioned that I didn't want Joshua brought up in our conversations. I was done.

That same night of the symphony, Riveroaks Theatre was presenting their monthly showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I had originally intended to go with Joshua and Ben, but due to the circumstances, had completely kicked Joshua out of the picture.

Around this same time, the IT Pilot had made a brief appearance through texts while I was at Bingo with my mom a couple of days earlier.  Ben couldn't go to RHPS, and I couldn't find anyone else to go either, so I messaged the IT Pilot to see if he was free that night since, you know, we were on "good speaking terms":

Ren: "I'm hoping to go see Rocky Horror tonight. I wanted to know if you'd be interested in accompanying?
Pilot: I'd really like to go... I have my friends from Alabama so I'm not sure they'd wanna go.
Ren: Too crazy for them?
Pilot: One of them has a 4 year old.
Ren: I understand. My sisters weren't too happy when I took them either. Jk.
Pilot: Yeah.... I bet... lol. You mean your twins... lol

[I use "my sisters" and "my twins" when referring to my twin sisters. Except every guy who's seen me thinks of something else when I say "my twins"]

That night I ended up going to Pearl Bar to meet a guy I'd been talking to from OkCupid since before I met the IT Pilot. It was finally time to meet (as friends) to see if there was any mutual interest. There wasn't. I was bored and I left around 1:30 am and got Mexican food on my way home to indulge.

The next day, the IT Pilot texted me to ask how my weekend had been. I told him I had gone to the symphony and then to the bar.

Pilot: Cool... was it free?
Ren: Well I was invited to the symphony so yeah :) and same for Pearl.
Pilot: lol... Nice. I'm guessing you're seeing someone?
Ren: No, I went with Ben Franklin. You remember him?
Pilot: lol... yeah, I remember Ben. He was cool, just a little nerdy. I would have went with you last night to see Rocky, but I was busy with my friends. Did you go?
Ren: No, and the bar suckeddd.
Pilot: I'll go with you next month if you want.
Ren: If you remember to, sure I'll go with you. And have you managed to get any dating done?

I asked him this because I had stalked on OkCupid and saw that he had activated his dating profile again.

Pilot: Nope. lol. With what time?
Ren: Your lunch hour.
Pilot: Right.... what about you?
Ren: Not really
Pilot: Not really? Did you and Joshua?


Crap. What do I say...?? I had to admit that the IT Pilot was not out of the picture fully (at least in my movie.)  I was still interested, but I didn't want to lie or tell the truth about what had happened between me and Joshua. I felt if I told him the truth, he'd be disgusted, and if I lied and we got back together again, luck would have it (against all odds) that we would one day run up against Joshua and he'd make a gnarly comment about us two having sex- considering we all met each other on the same night, remember?
I know it was a hard thing to believe, but things happen for a reason and God works in mysterious ways.

So I took a deep breath and continued.

Ren: Not quite. He was really friendly at first. Then he turned into a complete asshole.
Pilot: lol... you sound like me with the answers... or not so answers.
Ren: We have communication problems. He talks, I zone out.
Pilot: Yeah I could have told you that.
Ren: Could have told me what? That he was an asshole?
Pilot: He's the guy you hang out with once a month... too much and he's a douche.

He had hit it right on the mark. It was exactly that.

Ren: Omg. Yeah!!! But I had to find out on my own.
Pilot: Yeah, he's a douche bag... but cool to laugh and hang out with a few times... can't believe you tried it. lol... Was he good at least?

I wanted to avoid the inevitable. So I played stupid.

Ren: Good what??
Pilot: Plumber. You can tell me geeesh.
Ren: He had a drinking problem too. I mean, it's not like you could tell him that, but after I hung out with him for a while, I never once saw him sober.
Pilot: So did you fuxk him?

Deep breath. And now the moment of truth. He'll probably never talk to me anymore.
Ren: Yes we had sex. Jeez that's forward.
Pilot: lol... You dodged my other attempts...
Ren: I don't see why you needed to know. I don't like talking about him. He was really mean.
Pilot: Just curious since we are friends and all ;) What did he do? Do I need to kick his ass?
Ren: Well, he actually made me cry once.
Pilot: Fuxker.... what'd he say?

I went ahead and told him about the night we'd had too much to drink and had each slept separately at his friend's house. I was trying hard to divert the fact that I had just told a potential suitor that I'd had sex within the three weeks we'd broken up.

Oh God... if only he knew of the other story with Wes. He'd think major sluttage on my part then.

At the end of my rant he said:

Pilot: Wow.... asshole. You're a really great girl and you deserve the best. If you need someone to go out and do things with, let me help you with that.... leave that fuxker alone.... I knew he was bad news the first time we met him.

The IT Pilot had surprised me. We'd never texted more than 5 texts before, and we had been texting for nearly an hour and a half so far. He asked me if I watched True Blood (which I didn't anymore) but mentioned that I watched Weeds. Surprisingly, he did too and suggested I come over to his apartment to watch them sometime.

Ren: Maybe we can get together this week and watch the first two episodes
Pilot: That'd be cool... I'm open all week.
Ren: Ok, see you Tuesday night then.

And with that, we had made plans to get together once again after being on a no-contact code for nearly a month.

to be resumed.....

Monday, August 29, 2011

Let's NOT get it on

The only way I get to share about my stupid and drunken mistakes with my good friend from St. Louis are through texts. Here is an excerpt (cause I'm too lazy to rewrite, and it's the most accurate version I have)

Shann: How are things going with Josh?
Ren: Bad badd
Shann: Why????
Ren: We have communication problems. He talks too much. I don't listen/pay attention.
Shann: Lol. Why don't you?
Ren: Cause he never gets to the fuxking [actual auto-correct] point and I have a short attention span. We've gotten into so many arguments because he doesn't understand my sarcasm. So he blows up, then appologizes every time and I just stay quiet.
Shann: Lol eek.
Ren: Plus, it doesn't help that he's been drinking non-stop since I've met him. So I've never seen him sober.
Shann: Yeah, that's not cool.
Ren: We can't talk because he's the only one who talks. He won't let me. So I just sit around and listen. I'm not engaging at all. He thinks I attack him when I critique. I'm frustrated. He turns me off and he pisses me off too. I can't say what's on my mind without him overreacting.
Shann: Then stop seeing him lol.
Ren: I plan to. It won't turn serious with him. It'll just be casual. All we did this past weekend was hang out with him and his friend at his house. We never even had sex. It was really boring.

That week, as I tried to have a calm conversation with Joshua, he asked me if I'd spoken to the IT Pilot. "No, not since we broke up last month" I told him.

God somewhere must have heard, because as soon as I uttered those words, the IT Pilot messaged me through chat on my Facebook. "Um... ok, that was weird" I said to Joshua, "but he just messaged me."
"Oh what did he say?" asked Joshua.
"Just asked how I was doing" I replied.

Later that week, I invited my mom to come to Bingo with me, and we managed to drink through two pitchers straight, which was definitely a surprise. While I was there, I did the unthinkable and texted the IT Pilot:
Ren: "That's one good bingo!" lol
Pilot: Lol... same guy?
Ren: I guess so!
Pilot: Joshua there?
Ren: No, it's me and my mom tonight :p
Pilot: Awesome... lol. Have fun!

Later on, I messaged my friend Shann.

Ren: I'm curious to find out why he's asking about Joshua...
Shann: Why are you guys even talking lol. Obviously he knows you and Josh are a thing
Ren: Cause I'm drunk and my fingers are slippery.

I hadn't talked to the IT Pilot since our "breakup" and our exchange of three lines a few nights before. I hadn't made any public declarations that Joshua and I were together, but Joshua had tagged me in a couple of pictures together by ourselves, to which the IT Pilot could clearly see on my feed since we were still friends on Facebook.
Ren: I don't want Joshua. I want the IT Pilot.
Shann: But the IT Piot doesn't want you. He was an ass.
Ren: The IT Pilot doesn't know what he wants. And things with Joshua are never peaceful. We're always fighting.

A couple of hours later:

Ren: Hmmmm Okay Joshua and I just fought. Again. He called me a smartass and hung up on me. And then he called me back to appologize. WTF is his deal?
Shann: He's immature.
Ren: Ok, so here's the play by play of what was said, and maybe you can tell me if I was wrong.

Joshua: Brian told me he wasn't going to the symphony with you this Saturday.
Me: Yeah, his friend is in town, and I told him that he should go ahead and take her instead.
Joshua: I think she wants to go to a strip club instead.
Me: Oh I see. [Pause] Well, it's not like I'm going to ask him for the tickets.
Joshua: I know that. Why would you even say that??? That's just rude.
[Thinking: WTF Did I just say??] Um... Okay, I guess someone doesn't get my sarcasm.
Joshua: That wasn't sarcasm. You're just being a smart ass.

I'd had enough. It was time to man up and tell him the truth.

We don't fuxking get along, so let's not be friends.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

The Venus Flytrap

Wes and I got into an intense makeout session that worked its way into my bedroom. There was no element of surprise on my behalf. I knew exactly what was going to happen as soon as I suggested we go out for drinks just a block from my apartment.

I go into my closet to reach for a couple of condoms and hand it to him. Initially, he didn't want to wear one, so he grabs it and says "Okay, you want me to wear one, fine." He puts it on and his penis becomes limp immediately, and I'm like Dude WTF? So I help him out, and he starts thrusting. We start having messy sex, where the movements are out of whack and not entirely exciting.

In the back of my head, I'm thinking "Man, it better only suck cause he's had too much to drink, cause his moves are completely out of sync right now." With much effort, I manage to orgasm, I don't know, I may have faked, and he climbs off and lays on the bed. He asks for a blow job, to which I answer "Ok, but go wash up first." I momentarily fall asleep as he takes a shower, and as he comes out, I mention "You didn't come."

"It's a good thing I didn't" he answers.
"Why do you say that?" I ask him.
"Cause I took the condom off" he replies.

My eyes nearly bulge out of my head.

"What???" I nearly scream out. "Why the hell did you do that for?? I'm ovulating right now. You picked the worst possible time to use the pull out method. And moreover, I didn't give you permission to take off the condom" I chastise him.

At this point, I just want him to GTFO and never look back. I'm pissed and irritated that he would choose to take the condom off in the first place.

Head down, he begins dressing back up, not saying a word and goes out the front door. Seconds later, I realize I need to go unlock the gate to let him out in the first place, so he comes back up the stairs and says "You do realize you need to let me out right?"

Nice way to kick someone out, yet still have to walk them to the door. Fail.

I angrily stomp down the stairs and open the gate to let him go. We both say goodbye, and I rush back up to my apartment, get into bed and try to fall back asleep.

A few hours later I wake up and check my phone, and see an incoherent text from him:

Wes: Oh.... btw I didn't pull our off it came off on its own and j didn't notice..... but thanks for kicking me out..... I'm going back tomn... you were the real reason I came down here.... you hate me so wtf ever.... I'll never come back.

Looks like predictive texting couldn't help him on this one.

I check the floor, the trashcans and I don't see the condom. I look around the room and there's clothes everywhere, including his undershirt and his t-shirt on the floor. WTF did he leave with last night???

I text him back and say "I need to know- did you throw the condom away or is it inside me still?"

At this point, I have a bunch of thoughts going through my head. I don't feel anything weird inside me, but I somehow manage to smell a condom. Or at least I think I do. So I check myself. I check for a while, but I don't feel anything in me. Yet, I'm still convinced that I have a lost condom inside of me so I start digging as deep as I can (which is hard considering the angle...)

I do my kegel exercise and push as hard as I can and I finally feel something-
the ring to the condom.

I'm like... Ooooh F&%$........  How the F&#@ am I going to get it out??

I swear to God I started going through names of people in my head that I could trust to give me a hand. Literally. My friend Slut Monster was the only one I could think of. If I don't get this condom out today, I have to call her tomorrow.

I keep pushing, and digging deeper. I just need to grab it with both fingers so I can tweeze it out. I need to pull this condom out before I see Joshua. There is no way in hell I could explain a lost condom inside me if he finds it.

I finally glide it out just a tiny bit- enough to pinch it and grab it. I'm laying there on the bathroom floor, one leg up against the wall, the other against the counter, with my fingers inside my vagina, while I muster enough strength to push out and pull out- Is this what birth will look like? - until finally, I slowly pull it out and it comes out in one piece.

My vagina has become a flytrap.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Someone else showed up

Things with Joshua weren't looking too good. Our attempts at a "relationship"- or better yet, our "fling"- had turned into something I dreaded. I came to realize that he in fact did have a drinking problem. He continued calling me and texting every day, but in the middle of all our phone calls, our conversations turned into spats. It became a series of "shut up; let me talk; don't cut me off; you're not listening to me; I just told you, were you not paying attention?" happening more often than I can count on two hands.

I was mentally drained. No matter how each phone call began, no matter how hard I tried to tiptoe around his dialogue, it was bound to end up in a screaming match and a dial tone [well, more like a click since this is 2011 and we only use cell phones.....]

Wow, I haven't had this much excitement since I took some ipecac.

Turns out that I just..... couldn't handle Joshua. It's true that I didn't listen, but the reason for that was his stories just went on forever and took so many damn turns that I was nauseauted just trying to follow all the loops and curves. [chutes and ladders. it felt a little something like this]
In short, I zoned out a lot of the time. I always figured that I could just ask him to repeat the last sentence if I wasn't paying attention. But at a certain point, I just didn't care what he told me. It wasn't interesting to me and it required too much concentration.

After spending yet another night on Ben Franklin's couch, watching Tosh.0 on a loop, my back seriously started aching. I was experiencing cabin fever, and I needed to get out.

Then something, or rather "someone" happened.

Do you by any chance remember Wes? The online relationship with the "verbal abuser" that I had at the beginning of this year? (That coincidentally was also a heavy drinker?) Well..... he came by for a visit to Houston from Minnesota.

He had messaged me a few days earlier saying he "might" be stopping by for a long weekend to visit his new nephew and sister. Since things with Joshua weren't all peachy, I asked him if it was possible to meet, to which he responded "Possibly."

I wasn't exactly interested in getting into a relationship with Wes, but I was most of all curious to see what he actually looked like and acted like in real person. I guess the thought of meeting a guy who had expressed profound interest in me, and uttered the words "I Love You" got the best of me. I wasn't swooning, but I was definitely intrigued.

After some arrangements, we made plans to go to Minute Maid to catch an Astros game. He came to my apartment and we drove out to the stadium. He was just as short as I expected him to be- approximately an inch taller or so than me. He had a thick goatee, and piercing light blue eyes. His gaze was nerve-racking. It was the Fourth of July weekend, and unfortunately, a full stadium was in order. The cheapest tickets seated together were selling for $50.

"Yeah, no. forget that" I told him. We walked over to a grill across the street and decided to watch the game from there and order food and drinks. Conversation flowed easier than I expected it to. I felt like I had full control of the dialogue, and even though I knew he possessed the dominant characteristics, I could sense that I could drive this date any way I wanted to.

In other words, I was the boss. He was just in it for the ride.

We laughed, got along just fine and I suggested we go out to my side of town to a bar just around the corner from my apartment. You can sort of sense where this is going, right?

We showed up, ordered beers and went and played cricket- to which I did exceptionally well. We continued flirting around, pushing each other teasingly and talking. After two games of cricket, we sat back down at the table and had a "serious" conversation.

"So what do you think about me?" asked Wes.
"Um.... well.... I'm glad I finally met you in person. You're really different than how you act through messages. You're..... not as scary in real life" I told him. Personally, he reminds me of the Jesse James character. On the outside, he seems tough and scary, but inside, I can sense he's just a hopeless romantic. Hell, he talked to me day and night for three months straight.

"What about me? What did you think about me when you saw me?" I asked him
"Well, I think you're a lot more beautiful than you let on" he said.

I suddenly shrunk in my chair. Feeling the effects of the alcohol, my lips parted to say "Wow, that's.... a nice compliment..... thank you."

But suddenly, the alcohol brought out my emotional side, in a way that I couldn't quite comprehend. I began talking about my misfortune with dating, "especially with the last guy" I told him. He listened intently as I told him that lately, the guys I had been dating hadn't been serious about getting into a committed relationship; "All they want to do is date. Have their cake and eat it too" I continued telling him.

"I'm not like that" he tells me. "You just need to stop dating assholes" he said as he wiped away my tears. "Ok, so what do you want to do? If we're gonna keep drinking, might as well go buy alcohol and drink it at your place cause it's a lot cheaper" he mentioned. It was Sunday afternoon, the bar was completely dead anyway, and I had more liquor in my freezer than I knew what to do with. He succeeded in cheering me up and we drove back to my apartment to continue drinking there.

We had shots, beer and just laughed and continued flirting. At one point, he mentioned that he'd be coming back to Houston within the year. I asked him if he saw us being "friends" for real. "Yeah, I could deal with that" he said. "To go out and do stuff with?" I asked him. He said yes to which I pressed on with "Well what if I'm in a relationship then? You don't expect me to wait for you until then, right?"

"No, I don't expect you to wait, and we could hang out with whatever boyfriend you're with" he said.
I came up close to him, my lips inches from his and said "And you wouldn't feel the least bit tempted to do anything?" I tease.
"Nope. Cause if you're with someone, I'm not going to come in between your happiness" he said.

At this point, I'm on my kitchen counter, inches from pressing my lips to his.

"Really....? Not the least bit?" I ask coyly.

He stared at me with a soft grin on his face, his pupils grossly dilated, as I saw him falling in towards my mouth.

"Nuh uh! You said you wouldn't be the least bit tempted!" I warned him as I pulled my head back away with a teasing smile.
"But you're single now. Come here" he said as he drove his lips towards mine.

 to be continued......

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Lunch with the Wingman

After I finished with the dentist the day of our drunken stupor, I messaged Ben Franklin, Joshua's best friend to see what he was up to. He told me Joshua had gone back home to work on a project. Since I had yet to eat lunch, I asked him if he was free to meet up for lunch. I suggested Ikea because I love their meatball dish at the cafeteria.

We began going over the events of the previous nights, to which I pressed on about Joshua's erratic behavior.

"You know him better than anyone, he's your best friend. What's wrong with him? Why would he react that way?" I asked Ben. Ben tried to sugarcoat things, telling me he was going through a hard time due to the divorce.

Ren: Has he dated anyone since the divorce? Like, been in a serious relationship?
Ben: Yeah, he dated Caillin for a few months.
Ren: What happened?
Ben: He treated her like shit. They broke up and she doesn't want to see or talk to him ever.

Hmmmm... interesting. It sure didn't sound like that when Joshua told me about her.

Ren: So how exactly does he earn a living? I mean, he told me he does freelance web design, but, that's intermittent right?
Ben: Well, he's on unemployment right now, and the house where he's at? He's actually house-sitting for, so he doesn't pay rent.

Oh wow. It sounds like I've got quite a catch there. 

Ren: And the drinking? Was he always like this? It seems to me like whenever I see him, he just had a drink before we meet up.
Ben: Yeah, he likes to drink, especially since the divorce.

I was hitting up his best friend of eleven years for vital information- vital bits of facts that Joshua himself wasn't going to share with me. I know it was a bit low, but I wanted to get the point before I got in too deep.

Ren: So what should I make of all this? What does Joshua think of "us." Are we an item? Are we dating?
Ben: I don't think you should take it too seriously. If anything, Joshua just probably thinks you guys are casually dating. I don't think he thinks it's serious.

That was my cue. I had reaffirmation that this crazy relationship wasn't going to go anywhere serious anytime soon. I was free to date others.

I had promised to stop by that same evening as Joshua had offered to make dinner for us. I showed up, he served us and spent the entire night watching YouTube videos on Ben's TV. It was the most boring night ever. At certain points, I tried caressing Joshua's hair, but he forcefully swatted my hand away each time. I tried kissing him, but he got angrily annoyed.

I was pissed. I tried making nice each time by spending time there with him and his friend, thinking that we could possibly go back home and have sex. At one point, I started texting, ignoring the movie we were watching and Joshua got upset. "Ok, let's turn this movie off cause she's obviously not watching it. "

What annoyed me the most was that he kept coming in and out of sleep the entire afternoon and night, yet, I couldn't say anything. If I wanted to just watch TV, I could do that in the comfort of my own place, with a much better bed.

This guy is seriously starting to get under my skin...... I thought.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Bingo and too much alcohol

The IT Pilot didn't call me or write after the breakup, and Joshua felt the need to voice out his opinion.

"He hasn't called at all, not even to say hi? What a douche!" he'd say repeatedly.

I wasn't too serious about my "relationship" with Joshua. He'd recently been divorced and had a son. His girl friend Betty had expressed disapproval in us hooking up. "She says I reminded her I'd never date anyone under 30" he told me. I am 26. He is 34.

Nevertheless, Joshua was a fun person to hang out with, and the following week, we finally did make it in to bingo night. His friend "Ben Franklin," Betty and her date also joined and we had a great time. Surprisingly however, he started chatting up the couple sitting to his right.

Hmmm.... this looks.... familiar I thought. This is what he did with me and the IT Pilot. He started being friendly with us during Bingo that one night we met. What are the chances it couldn't happen again? I laughed in my head, amused.

After bingo was thru, we went out to Cedar creek for drinks. While there, Ben Franklin turns to me "I just got a friend request on Facebook from some [*enter real name here.*] Is this... your IT Pilot?" Joshua and I turned our heads over and looked over at Ben's phone, and there it was- in bold- "IT Pilot: Confirm/Ignore." We all laughed at the thought, as I asked Ben "Wait, why is he friending you? Do you guys talk?"

"No, not at all!" he answered. Joshua piped in and said "Wait, I wonder if he friend requested me too!"  We all laughed about it and we're like "Ok, what was that all about? Did IT Pilot request because of the picture we tagged last night?"

We continued drinking and then took it one step further and went to The Anvil for a specialty drink. I don't know what it was called, but I remember it tasted amazing! It had rum and an egg and cost $12 to make.

By this time I was completely drunk off my ass, and I remember having both Ben Franklin and Joshua help me out the door. Ben lived close by in the Galleria area, so it was decided that we would be spending the night there.

However, when we got there, things took an ugly turn..... somewhere. I can't remember exactly what happened, but it wasn't anything I'd expect from anyone.

Ben and I were joking around, laughing, Joshua kept trying to talk, when all of a sudden, Joshua exclaimed to me "Just shut the hell up!" I was drunk, emotional and welled up enough for tears to come out. Ben looked at both of us then said directly to Joshua "Dude, you're being a fucking asshole" They fell asleep on the couches, while I slept in Brian's bed. In the morning, Joshua came up to me and said "What the hell happened last night?? I'm sorry I was out of line, I shouldn't have reacted that way, but I got annoyed because you got too demanding."

I got his point, but he really shouldn't have blown up the way he did. I was still bothered by it the next morning, and we joked around about it saying in a year from now, we'll still be talking about it and Joshua would forever be known as the asshole who made a girl cry. I left soon after to go to my apartment, try to sleep a bit before my 12:00 o'clock dentist appointment that day.

And the saga continues....

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

A drunken night

The following Wednesday, Joshua and I agreed to meet up at Pearl Bar for Happy Hour. We settled down at an empty bar, and immediately started talking about music.

"You know who this is" asked Joshua about the music that was playing.
"Um, yeah, that's MGMT" I answered.
"Wait- HOW DO YOU KNOW MGMT???" he asked shocked.
"I listen to them. My ex introduced me to them"

And from that moment on, we "clicked."

However though, the bar was extremely empty, apart from a group of 6 guys, we were the only ones there. "Let's go to Liberty Station. It's just down the street, and a friend recommended it to me." We drove over a few blocks to the next bar,  ordered more drinks, and took out a giant game of Jenga.  We continued laughing, singing along to the music on the jukebox. After one too many drinks, Joshua comes up to me, grabs my face in his hands and brings it into his lips.

Our first kiss. Completely unexpected. And he kissed really REALLY good. Despite of how drunk I was. I ended up falling asleep on the couch we had commandeered at the bar. It was near midnight, and I had work the next day. I was in no position to drive home, so of course he offered to "sleep it off" at his place, that was only a couple of miles away.  Except, we didn't "sleep it off" as I had intended. Instead, we got undressed, and he proceeded to perform oral sex on me before I could even grasp what was happening. "Stop! I haven't shaved!" I yelled out. "Honey, I haven't had sex since February. Do you really think I care about a few pricklies?" he said.

I had shaved my hooha, but hadn't shaved my legs. I usually do this to prevent myself from having sex. It never works.

"Oh my god you are so f&*^# hot!" he exclaimed as I lay on his bed.  Slowly, he took his pants off and reached for a condom. In the shadows, I saw his penis, and I nearly gasped.

Omg. He is packing I thought.

We started having sex with one of those ribbed condoms by Trojans- the ones for her pleasure? Yeah, don't try them . They suck. They literally feel like you're having sex with a WalMart shopping bag. Not even the good shopping bags from Target either.

He pumped for a good 40 minutes, until I couldn't take it any longer. It didn't seem like he was any closer to having an orgasm, and to this day, I have no idea how it ended. I do remember however that I had a couple of orgasms, so I wasn't all too unhappy.

"Ok, I gotta tell you something. I didn't come" he said.
"Um, yeah I kinda noticed." I responded

At first I was like, "Why did you tell me that? It is cause you're so drunk that you don't know what you're saying?" I later came to find out that it was because he'd been so used to having sex without a condom (with his wife) that it was going to take some time to get used to with one.

At work the next day, Joshua texted me about the plans for that night. "Screw bingo. Either come over or invite me over and let's be lazy and throw in a movie and cuddle.

I began thinking about it, texting my girlfriend to tell her what was happening. I confided in her about the shit I'd been through with the IT Pilot as well so she was up to speed about the guys in my life.

Ren: I was just thinking about it, and I guess I'm just really hesitant about it going anywhere with him. I mean, he just got divorced after 7 years of marriage, and he has a 5 year old son. THAT'S what freaks me out the most. The son that's involved. I've never dated a DAD before.
Shan: How old is he?
Ren: Looks like he turns 35 in September. I saw his phone last night cause he kept texting with the two other friends that I met at bingo. In one of them, I saw 'Wow great kisser!'

Eventually we met up for bingo along with the other friends from the same night, but we arrived too late and went out to Cedar Creek instead for drinks. We spent a few hours there, and went back to his place where I spent the night. What made me laugh was that when we were in bed that night, he asked me "When do I get to see you again?" I'm like, Dude, we're in bed right now and you're already thinking ahead?

Over the course of the next few days, Joshua continued texting, and calling me a few times during the day. It also helped that he worked freelance and had no schedule to follow. Every once in a while, he would ask me if the IT Pilot had contacted me in any way, but the answer was always no, not since we'd broken up. Things were looking up.

Or so they were...... for a while......

Sunday, August 7, 2011

"It's not you, it's me"

Things with the IT Pilot were going okay. We weren't talking as often, but we managed to go out on a few dates during the week. Joshua, our friend from bingo on the other hand continued texting me every single day to see how the IT Pilot and I were doing. I was mainly interested in getting him back on a dating website since I could sense he needed a partner to blow off some steam from his divorce.

Through texts, Joshua came off as extremely interesting; he talked quite a lot, was a good listener and gave great advice. I tried to set him up with Slut Monster, and when he asked for a picture, I showed him the only one I had on my Facebook. He mentioned he didn't find her all too appealing and that I was better looking than her in the picture.

"Um... thanks...." I responded.

Some time later, I started opening more about the IT Pilot and how he wasn't being too talkative. I stopped hearing from him as much, and he wasn't texting me anymore. A couple of days would go by before I even heard a beep. And from personal choice, I prefer not to chase a guy.

Ren: We're texting then all of a sudden he's gone. I'm like WTF? Did you put the phone down mid conversation and run away??? So sometimes I don't even feel like texting cause I know I'm never going to get a response right away. So it's like, phones don't exist between us. Might as well just accept that fact.
Joshua: No, you don't. Look, I want you to be happy. Do not settle. Ren are you happy? If so I couldn't be more happier for you. If not, reevaluate. Simple.

We continued texting, and the more he wrote, the more I began second guessing everything that was happening between me and the IT Pilot. I began making "excuses" saying "I think I'll be fine. I don't want to get in over my head. He just has another way of approaching this relationship."

Finally, after a weekend of zero communication, I let out all my insecurities to Joshua.

Joshua: Still no word from him? 
Ren: No, and it's stressing me out. Turning my stomach into knots and making me sick.  
Joshua: I'm sorry Ren. You are a beautiful woman. Screw him. 
Ren: I'm so upset I'm about to throw in the towel. I guess I wasn't enough for him.
Joshua: Honestly, even Betsy (his friend from bingo) thought you seemed out of his league. It's ok Ren. I'm here for you if you need me.

The next day, Joshua texted me to check up on me. I told him I was doing just as bad, not having heard from the IT Pilot. "We should get together for a few drinks" he texted. I agreed, to which he said "Let me know what day this week you are free. I'm looking forward to having a few drinks an trading a few stories, and hopefully having a few laughs."

I suggested we go to bingo the following Thursday and he acquiesced. He asked if I'd heard from the IT Pilot yet, to which I responded no.

A short while later, I manage to get the guts to call the IT Pilot after over 3 days of no contact.

Ren: Ok, so I was just wondering if you were interested in making this work.
IT Pilot: Yeah, about that..... I.... don't think we.... clicked.
Ren: So you were just going to go the entire weekend without letting me know?
IT: No....... I would have called you later or tomorrow. It's just that..... I've been extremely stressed with work and school, and I'm not ready for a serious relationship.

F*&$&) Bull^*%$!!

Ren: Oh no, I understand. It's the "it's not you, it's me excuse" except, it's actually not you, it's me.
IT: No, it's not that. It really is me. I just.... don't think I can do it. I still want us to be friends though. I like hanging out with you. I wouldn't mind going out every once in a while.
Ren: No. That's friends with benefits, and I'm not going to do that with you because unfortunately, I like you a lot. I'm not looking for casual dating, I'm looking for a serious relationship.

After everything was said and done, I texted one of my friends, and later called up Joshua to tell him what had happened, but not before I burst into tears over the telephone.

"It's over, it's over, it's over and I feel like shit run over ten times. There was a reason for me not to get too excited about it when I knew it would end just as quickly as it began. I'm extremely tired of investing emotions when its not going to work out. It's really painful" I told Joshua.

Joshua attempted to comfort me as best he could. We made plans to meet up the following Wednesday for happy hour.

Stay tuned......

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Side Effects of Bingo

While IT Pilot and I were messaging on OkCupid, I was still regularly receiving messages from other guys. We'd exchanged numbers and texted, but when the ItPilot got serious about meeting, I didn't log back onto OkC. I was interesting in seeing this work.

On Thursday nights, I usually go to bingo to try my luck at winning some money. It usually fails every time, due to the cheap $6 pitchers of alcohol that we get. By the start of the first game, my eyesight is rather blurry.  I had already gone once with the IT Pilot guy, and since he'd had a great time, he asked if we could go again.We sat near the front so we'd be able the numbers better. I got up to get our pitcher of beer, and when I came back, he told me that we had made "new friends."

"Whose stuff is that?" I asked.
"It's for three people. I'm saving their seats" he answered.
"Who are they?" I wondered.
"Well you try to guess" he pushed.
I looked down at the items that had been left on the table- a blackberry, a red stamper with stickers, and a woman's wallet.
"Ok, well it looks like two girls and one guy?"

A few minutes later, the trio came to sit down, which happened to be two guys and one girl- just friends. The girl's name was Betsy, who was in her mid thirties, the first guy was balding, looked about 40, and resembled Benjamin Franklin, so we can call him Ben, and the third guy reminded me of Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray with his frosted tips. He was also in his mid thirties, but we will call him by his real name. Enter: Joshua.

The IT Pilot and I had a great time with the group. Joshua was very outgoing, extremely chipper and very talkative. He cracked joke after joke, kept the mood afloat with an exceptional witty banter. I admit it, he was fun to hang out with. When Joshua asked my Pilot and I how we'd met and how long we'd been together, we mentioned it was only rounding up to the second week. He mentioned to his friends "Aw, how cute. you can totally tell this is new. They can't kep their hands off each other." After bingo ended, we agreed to go to Cedar Creek bar & Grill a couple of streets over to continue hanging out.

Once there, we had another beer, while my Pilot and the other two guys continued talking. The girl, Betsy, had left shortly thereafter to meet up with a guy, and I was mainly listening in. As they conversed, I found out that Ben had been married for 11 years, 5 of which had been void of sex. Joshua had been married for 7 years, had been divorced for about 9 months, and had a 5 year old son,  I could sense a lot of frustration in regards to his ex-wife, especially when it came time to talk about all the money he'd lost as a result of the dissolution of his marriage.

Nonetheless, we still had a few good laughs, and by the end of the night, I had inserted Ben and Joshua into my list of contacts to meet up to catch a showing of Rocky Horror in a few weeks. My Pilot didn't seem bothered by it at all, and looked to be content with the fact that we now appeared to have a group of friends to go to Bingo with as well. When we got back to his place that night, I had a new text from Joshua: "Hey! Your boyfriend is lucky, he got a witty attractive, fun woman. I can't wait to see the two of you next Saturday."  I responded saying that I hoped that both he and Ben got home alright, and the Pilot and I went to sleep.

The next day, Joshua texted me around 9:00 while I was work.
Joshua: Good morning sexy. I will be joining okcupid later today because of you two. I hope to meet a girl like you. Enjoy your day.
Ren: Trial and error. you most definitely will meet your other half.
Joshua: That sounds perfect. Tell IT Pilot I said Hello :)

The sexy remark didn't quite register, and I brushed it off. The IT Pilot was the only guy on my mind, and I'd made that very clear the night before by stating "When I'm with someone, my mind shuts off from looking at other guys or developing feelings for someone else. I've never been tempted to cheat" (This is true.) Joshua looked at my Pilot and said "That's a good woman right there."

Throughout the next few days, Joshua continued texting me, trying to get more information about me about what had drawn me to my Pilot, what I liked about him, and throwing flirtatious comments here and there. Since I didn't think anything more to it, it didn't bother me that he was flirting. At the time, I didn't see it that way.

He asked me if we'd closed out our OkC accounts; Coincidentally enough, my Pilot and I had talked about it the night before, as we were going home after bingo. We talked at great lengths about what he wanted and said that he didn't want to just rush into a relationship or something long term- commitment wise. He said we didn't have to spend every day together, and he had gotten that vibe from me earlier on in the week. He said he needed his space and didn't want to feel suffocated. He went on about how we could hang out on the weekends, and a few times during the week, but that at certain points, he would just feel like being on his own.

He had closed out his account, and he'd noticed that I hadn't logged on since before we met. be continued.......