The only way I get to share about my stupid and drunken mistakes with my good friend from St. Louis are through texts. Here is an excerpt (cause I'm too lazy to rewrite, and it's the most accurate version I have)
Shann: How are things going with Josh?
Ren: Bad badd
Ren: We have communication problems. He talks too much. I don't listen/pay attention.
Shann: Lol. Why don't you?
Ren: Cause he never gets to the fuxking [actual auto-correct] point and I have a short attention span. We've gotten into so many arguments because he doesn't understand my sarcasm. So he blows up, then appologizes every time and I just stay quiet.
Shann: Lol eek.
Ren: Plus, it doesn't help that he's been drinking non-stop since I've met him. So I've never seen him sober.
Shann: Yeah, that's not cool.
Ren: We can't talk because he's the only one who talks. He won't let me. So I just sit around and listen. I'm not engaging at all. He thinks I attack him when I critique. I'm frustrated. He turns me off and he pisses me off too. I can't say what's on my mind without him overreacting.
Shann: Then stop seeing him lol.
Ren: I plan to. It won't turn serious with him. It'll just be casual. All we did this past weekend was hang out with him and his friend at his house. We never even had sex. It was really boring.
That week, as I tried to have a calm conversation with Joshua, he asked me if I'd spoken to the IT Pilot. "No, not since we broke up last month" I told him.
God somewhere must have heard, because as soon as I uttered those words, the IT Pilot messaged me through chat on my Facebook. "Um... ok, that was weird" I said to Joshua, "but he just messaged me."
"Oh what did he say?" asked Joshua.
"Just asked how I was doing" I replied.
Later that week, I invited my mom to come to Bingo with me, and we managed to drink through two pitchers straight, which was definitely a surprise. While I was there, I did the unthinkable and texted the IT Pilot:
Ren: "That's one good bingo!" lol
Pilot: Lol... same guy?
Ren: I guess so!
Pilot: Joshua there?
Ren: No, it's me and my mom tonight :p
Pilot: Awesome... lol. Have fun!
Later on, I messaged my friend Shann.
Ren: I'm curious to find out why he's asking about Joshua...
Shann: Why are you guys even talking lol. Obviously he knows you and Josh are a thing
Ren: Cause I'm drunk and my fingers are slippery.
I hadn't talked to the IT Pilot since our "breakup" and our exchange of three lines a few nights before. I hadn't made any public declarations that Joshua and I were together, but Joshua had tagged me in a couple of pictures together by ourselves, to which the IT Pilot could clearly see on my feed since we were still friends on Facebook.
Ren: I don't want Joshua. I want the IT Pilot.
Shann: But the IT Piot doesn't want you. He was an ass.
Ren: The IT Pilot doesn't know what he wants. And things with Joshua are never peaceful. We're always fighting.
A couple of hours later:
Ren: Hmmmm Okay Joshua and I just fought. Again. He called me a smartass and hung up on me. And then he called me back to appologize. WTF is his deal?
Shann: He's immature.
Ren: Ok, so here's the play by play of what was said, and maybe you can tell me if I was wrong.
Joshua: Brian told me he wasn't going to the symphony with you this Saturday.
Me: Yeah, his friend is in town, and I told him that he should go ahead and take her instead.
Joshua: I think she wants to go to a strip club instead.
Me: Oh I see. [Pause] Well, it's not like I'm going to ask him for the tickets.
Joshua: I know that. Why would you even say that??? That's just rude.
Me: [Thinking: WTF Did I just say??] Um... Okay, I guess someone doesn't get my sarcasm.
Joshua: That wasn't sarcasm. You're just being a smart ass.
I'd had enough. It was time to man up and tell him the truth.
We don't fuxking get along, so let's not be friends.