Why this blog

I began this blog back in August of 2009, a few days before I found my first apartment. I decided to document my transition from my parents' nest to my own, testing the waters and learning from my mistakes. Originally, this blog was going to focus on the difficulties I would face by living on my own, such as, grocery shopping, doing my own laundry, and having to be responsible for myself. However, the blog took another turn some short time after, when I began discussing and detailing my relationship with my very private boyfriend at the time.

I tried to be tactful and very coy about my daily occurrences, but soon found out that people were more interested in my "humorist" spin of the ugly truth of dating such a character. I still managed to keep the identities of all the people in my life completely secret, never divulging their real names or photos. I preferred to do so realizing that a lot of the things I talked about were in fact too risqué. As you may have found out also, Ren is not my real name. The two main reasons why I keep things anonymous here are:

1. I would be faced with a lot of backlash
2. I've written some unflattering shit about the guys I've been with (and still talk to)

Living alone gave me a chance to set myself free and rebel for the first time in my "adult" life. I began experimenting and casually dating during and after Sebastian- (see open relationship.) I documented certain situations of my life, and spoke out my insecurities with dating a person with extremely high self confidence. Though I was blinded, and more interested in being in a relationship than being happy, I learned from those mistakes, and gained the skill to smell "bullshit" from early on as to not repeat it again.

I realized that a lot of my blogs during my courtship with Sebastian were written in a humorous tone, as a defense mechanism to detail my uncertainty of the future; the tone during the past year has changed to detail my failures at dating, ranging from sexting with unavailable men, sexual flings with sub-par buddies, and my inability to control my sexual cravings. I never thought five years ago that I would be this open to sex, and I thought of any woman with 10+ partners was a slut. I find myself  too quickly approaching that number, with complete doubt of what's ahead on the horizon.

I invite you to read, hoping that you can empathize along with my stupidity and reckless behavior.

Happy Reading,

Ren*


PS: If you also partake in blogging about relationship disasters, bad dates, please feel free to send me an email if you would like me to follow you- renrexx@gmail.com