What I've learned from Online Dating

Online dating is meant to be fun, and most of the time it really is. We catch each other's eye, we drop that first line, and pretty soon, we're writing essays to each other, sharing our past, our present and our future.

We're nice, attentive and open to try new things. At first.

And then, the shit backfires.

• The chubby/overweight guys are the ones who reply the most selectively.
• My attention span is approximately 10 minutes. You better come up with something funny to keep me online and not looking at other profiles.
• I tend to get a little concerned if you're still logging on to your dating profile when I think we've hit it off.
• I may end up overdrinking on the first date, and even though I'm having a great time at first, the rest of the night is a blur, and I honestly can't remember what we did, or if I imagined it.
• I want to jump into that comfort zone right away, knowing full well it'll scare 81.3% of the guys.
• I want to have my cake and eat it too. Meaning, I want to date around, but don't want you to.
• I want you to do the courting and call, text, surprise me for lunch, buy me flowers etc.

The problem is, I don't know how to be tactful; I don't know how to date like a lady. And I've also noticed that most of the guys like the feisty bitch every once in a while- that's not me. I gave up on her a long time ago, and I'm very sweet to my partner.

[Sigh] I don't know... I guess I just need to continue subjecting myself to more heartbreak. Damn it.