Things with Joshua weren't looking too good. Our attempts at a "relationship"- or better yet, our "fling"- had turned into something I dreaded. I came to realize that he in fact did have a drinking problem. He continued calling me and texting every day, but in the middle of all our phone calls, our conversations turned into spats. It became a series of "shut up; let me talk; don't cut me off; you're not listening to me; I just told you, were you not paying attention?" happening more often than I can count on two hands.
I was mentally drained. No matter how each phone call began, no matter how hard I tried to tiptoe around his dialogue, it was bound to end up in a screaming match and a dial tone [well, more like a click since this is 2011 and we only use cell phones.....]
Wow, I haven't had this much excitement since I took some ipecac.
Turns out that I just..... couldn't handle Joshua. It's true that I didn't listen, but the reason for that was his stories just went on forever and took so many damn turns that I was nauseauted just trying to follow all the loops and curves. [chutes and ladders. it felt a little something like this]
In short, I zoned out a lot of the time. I always figured that I could just ask him to repeat the last sentence if I wasn't paying attention. But at a certain point, I just didn't care what he told me. It wasn't interesting to me and it required too much concentration.
After spending yet another night on Ben Franklin's couch, watching Tosh.0 on a loop, my back seriously started aching. I was experiencing cabin fever, and I needed to get out.
Then something, or rather "someone" happened.
Do you by any chance remember Wes? The online relationship with the "verbal abuser" that I had at the beginning of this year? (That coincidentally was also a heavy drinker?) Well..... he came by for a visit to Houston from Minnesota.
He had messaged me a few days earlier saying he "might" be stopping by for a long weekend to visit his new nephew and sister. Since things with Joshua weren't all peachy, I asked him if it was possible to meet, to which he responded "Possibly."
I wasn't exactly interested in getting into a relationship with Wes, but I was most of all curious to see what he actually looked like and acted like in real person. I guess the thought of meeting a guy who had expressed profound interest in me, and uttered the words "I Love You" got the best of me. I wasn't swooning, but I was definitely intrigued.
After some arrangements, we made plans to go to Minute Maid to catch an Astros game. He came to my apartment and we drove out to the stadium. He was just as short as I expected him to be- approximately an inch taller or so than me. He had a thick goatee, and piercing light blue eyes. His gaze was nerve-racking. It was the Fourth of July weekend, and unfortunately, a full stadium was in order. The cheapest tickets seated together were selling for $50.
"Yeah, no. forget that" I told him. We walked over to a grill across the street and decided to watch the game from there and order food and drinks. Conversation flowed easier than I expected it to. I felt like I had full control of the dialogue, and even though I knew he possessed the dominant characteristics, I could sense that I could drive this date any way I wanted to.
In other words, I was the boss. He was just in it for the ride.
We laughed, got along just fine and I suggested we go out to my side of town to a bar just around the corner from my apartment. You can sort of sense where this is going, right?
We showed up, ordered beers and went and played cricket- to which I did exceptionally well. We continued flirting around, pushing each other teasingly and talking. After two games of cricket, we sat back down at the table and had a "serious" conversation.
"So what do you think about me?" asked Wes.
"Um.... well.... I'm glad I finally met you in person. You're really different than how you act through messages. You're..... not as scary in real life" I told him. Personally, he reminds me of the Jesse James character. On the outside, he seems tough and scary, but inside, I can sense he's just a hopeless romantic. Hell, he talked to me day and night for three months straight.
"What about me? What did you think about me when you saw me?" I asked him
"Well, I think you're a lot more beautiful than you let on" he said.
I suddenly shrunk in my chair. Feeling the effects of the alcohol, my lips parted to say "Wow, that's.... a nice compliment..... thank you."
But suddenly, the alcohol brought out my emotional side, in a way that I couldn't quite comprehend. I began talking about my misfortune with dating, "especially with the last guy" I told him. He listened intently as I told him that lately, the guys I had been dating hadn't been serious about getting into a committed relationship; "All they want to do is date. Have their cake and eat it too" I continued telling him.
"I'm not like that" he tells me. "You just need to stop dating assholes" he said as he wiped away my tears. "Ok, so what do you want to do? If we're gonna keep drinking, might as well go buy alcohol and drink it at your place cause it's a lot cheaper" he mentioned. It was Sunday afternoon, the bar was completely dead anyway, and I had more liquor in my freezer than I knew what to do with. He succeeded in cheering me up and we drove back to my apartment to continue drinking there.
We had shots, beer and just laughed and continued flirting. At one point, he mentioned that he'd be coming back to Houston within the year. I asked him if he saw us being "friends" for real. "Yeah, I could deal with that" he said. "To go out and do stuff with?" I asked him. He said yes to which I pressed on with "Well what if I'm in a relationship then? You don't expect me to wait for you until then, right?"
"No, I don't expect you to wait, and we could hang out with whatever boyfriend you're with" he said.
I came up close to him, my lips inches from his and said "And you wouldn't feel the least bit tempted to do anything?" I tease.
"Nope. Cause if you're with someone, I'm not going to come in between your happiness" he said.
At this point, I'm on my kitchen counter, inches from pressing my lips to his.
"Really....? Not the least bit?" I ask coyly.
He stared at me with a soft grin on his face, his pupils grossly dilated, as I saw him falling in towards my mouth.
"Nuh uh! You said you wouldn't be the least bit tempted!" I warned him as I pulled my head back away with a teasing smile.
"But you're single now. Come here" he said as he drove his lips towards mine.
to be continued......