Lunch with the Wingman

After I finished with the dentist the day of our drunken stupor, I messaged Ben Franklin, Joshua's best friend to see what he was up to. He told me Joshua had gone back home to work on a project. Since I had yet to eat lunch, I asked him if he was free to meet up for lunch. I suggested Ikea because I love their meatball dish at the cafeteria.

We began going over the events of the previous nights, to which I pressed on about Joshua's erratic behavior.

"You know him better than anyone, he's your best friend. What's wrong with him? Why would he react that way?" I asked Ben. Ben tried to sugarcoat things, telling me he was going through a hard time due to the divorce.

Ren: Has he dated anyone since the divorce? Like, been in a serious relationship?
Ben: Yeah, he dated Caillin for a few months.
Ren: What happened?
Ben: He treated her like shit. They broke up and she doesn't want to see or talk to him ever.

Hmmmm... interesting. It sure didn't sound like that when Joshua told me about her.

Ren: So how exactly does he earn a living? I mean, he told me he does freelance web design, but, that's intermittent right?
Ben: Well, he's on unemployment right now, and the house where he's at? He's actually house-sitting for, so he doesn't pay rent.

Oh wow. It sounds like I've got quite a catch there. 

Ren: And the drinking? Was he always like this? It seems to me like whenever I see him, he just had a drink before we meet up.
Ben: Yeah, he likes to drink, especially since the divorce.

I was hitting up his best friend of eleven years for vital information- vital bits of facts that Joshua himself wasn't going to share with me. I know it was a bit low, but I wanted to get the point before I got in too deep.

Ren: So what should I make of all this? What does Joshua think of "us." Are we an item? Are we dating?
Ben: I don't think you should take it too seriously. If anything, Joshua just probably thinks you guys are casually dating. I don't think he thinks it's serious.

That was my cue. I had reaffirmation that this crazy relationship wasn't going to go anywhere serious anytime soon. I was free to date others.

I had promised to stop by that same evening as Joshua had offered to make dinner for us. I showed up, he served us and spent the entire night watching YouTube videos on Ben's TV. It was the most boring night ever. At certain points, I tried caressing Joshua's hair, but he forcefully swatted my hand away each time. I tried kissing him, but he got angrily annoyed.

I was pissed. I tried making nice each time by spending time there with him and his friend, thinking that we could possibly go back home and have sex. At one point, I started texting, ignoring the movie we were watching and Joshua got upset. "Ok, let's turn this movie off cause she's obviously not watching it. "

What annoyed me the most was that he kept coming in and out of sleep the entire afternoon and night, yet, I couldn't say anything. If I wanted to just watch TV, I could do that in the comfort of my own place, with a much better bed.

This guy is seriously starting to get under my skin...... I thought.

Bingo and too much alcohol

The IT Pilot didn't call me or write after the breakup, and Joshua felt the need to voice out his opinion.

"He hasn't called at all, not even to say hi? What a douche!" he'd say repeatedly.

I wasn't too serious about my "relationship" with Joshua. He'd recently been divorced and had a son. His girl friend Betty had expressed disapproval in us hooking up. "She says I reminded her I'd never date anyone under 30" he told me. I am 26. He is 34.

Nevertheless, Joshua was a fun person to hang out with, and the following week, we finally did make it in to bingo night. His friend "Ben Franklin," Betty and her date also joined and we had a great time. Surprisingly however, he started chatting up the couple sitting to his right.

Hmmm.... this looks.... familiar I thought. This is what he did with me and the IT Pilot. He started being friendly with us during Bingo that one night we met. What are the chances it couldn't happen again? I laughed in my head, amused.

After bingo was thru, we went out to Cedar creek for drinks. While there, Ben Franklin turns to me "I just got a friend request on Facebook from some [*enter real name here.*] Is this... your IT Pilot?" Joshua and I turned our heads over and looked over at Ben's phone, and there it was- in bold- "IT Pilot: Confirm/Ignore." We all laughed at the thought, as I asked Ben "Wait, why is he friending you? Do you guys talk?"

"No, not at all!" he answered. Joshua piped in and said "Wait, I wonder if he friend requested me too!"  We all laughed about it and we're like "Ok, what was that all about? Did IT Pilot request because of the picture we tagged last night?"

We continued drinking and then took it one step further and went to The Anvil for a specialty drink. I don't know what it was called, but I remember it tasted amazing! It had rum and an egg and cost $12 to make.

By this time I was completely drunk off my ass, and I remember having both Ben Franklin and Joshua help me out the door. Ben lived close by in the Galleria area, so it was decided that we would be spending the night there.

However, when we got there, things took an ugly turn..... somewhere. I can't remember exactly what happened, but it wasn't anything I'd expect from anyone.

Ben and I were joking around, laughing, Joshua kept trying to talk, when all of a sudden, Joshua exclaimed to me "Just shut the hell up!" I was drunk, emotional and welled up enough for tears to come out. Ben looked at both of us then said directly to Joshua "Dude, you're being a fucking asshole" They fell asleep on the couches, while I slept in Brian's bed. In the morning, Joshua came up to me and said "What the hell happened last night?? I'm sorry I was out of line, I shouldn't have reacted that way, but I got annoyed because you got too demanding."

I got his point, but he really shouldn't have blown up the way he did. I was still bothered by it the next morning, and we joked around about it saying in a year from now, we'll still be talking about it and Joshua would forever be known as the asshole who made a girl cry. I left soon after to go to my apartment, try to sleep a bit before my 12:00 o'clock dentist appointment that day.

And the saga continues....

Knowing your limits

You're a friend and you need to stay in that zone damnit!

I met David on POF (I meet most of my guys from dating websites, surprised?) last year as a FRIEND. At least, that's all it has ever been for me. I was with Sebastian at the time and never threw any signals up in the air- or so I thought.

David and I clicked on a friendship level, talking about our gripes in the dating world and about everything else: friends, family, health, school- LIFE in general. We never talked on the phone- it was all through email and some texting. Over time, I too lost track of him, and couldn't ever really focus on what he was doing with his life.

A few months ago, I sent him an email that went  unanswered for a whiiile. Some time later, he finally got around to responding, and during the Christmas season sent me a few texts. He asked me how the "boy" was doing, clearly referring to Sebastian. He asked me if I was working over new year's and when I responded that I got the 3rd off he said "I was gonna see if you'd be available for a trip to New Orleans-" wait, what? "but thinking about it wouldn't make sense; too many family folk are going"- phew. Weirdo.

The following week, we decided to go out for drinks to catch up and met up halfway. We had drinks at a retro bar and played trivia as I listened to him talk about school and the dating scene. About an hour later, I'm feeling extremely bored and decide to head home. As we're saying good bye, he comes in to give me a hug- one of those hugs that lasts two seconds too long.

Awkward.

As I try to pull away, I can feel his head trying to turn towards mine, still very much embracing me. I turn the other way as his head follows, his face coming towards mine.

[Gasp] Oh noooooo.

 I continue arching my face away as I see his lips coming towards mine. I turn and he lands a kiss on my cheek.

At this point he still has his arms around me, as I try to fidget my way out of them.

Dude, let go!

Once finally freed from his deathly grip, he says with a huge smile "you should invite me over to your place sometime."

Scoffs. "Yeah right" I answer.

"Okay" he laughs nervously.

I quickly get in my car, and speed the hell out of the parking lot, rethinking what the sam-f*&@ just happened back there.

I've always wondered what to do in situations like this. I can understand that attraction between friends can happen- it's normal, but how do you make it obvious you're NOT interested in them THAT WAY? One could say it's as simple as stating it up front, but doesn't that sound a bit.... egocentric? The signs aren't always there.... and the other person could simply say "Well, you were throwing out all the signs!!"

What signs were those?? Being nice? Laughing at your jokes? Teasi-- oh.... shit.... I got it....
Yeah, I can see how you could possibly think I'm interested in you THAT WAY......

F*&#.....

Oh so you're married now?

Roger and I had a thing a few years back. I was too naive to know that he was merely  sewing his wild oats and not looking for anything serious. He went away to Afghanistan for work on a 5-year contract and hardly heard from him since.

During the course of the year, he messaged me through Facebook when he would see me online, but we hardly talked about anything interesting. He did however begin to act quite differently.

He brought up "our past"- which I had long ago filed into my "do-not-ever-revisit" folder which had worked out quite effectively.

At one point, Roger asked me to marry him, and I deduced it to be run of the mill shit talk. I blamed it on being so far away, alone, in a desert with no female in sight and only an internet connection to the outside world. It was natural for him to fall on me, a backup from years before.

While on my trip to Chile in late November, Roger messaged me once more.

It didn't affect me in any way. If anything, I was surprised he thought that I was still the same gullible girl as before, who was more than willing to eat it all up. He told me he was coming back to Houston for a visit in late December, to which I took as an invitation to hang out.

Boy was I wrong....

On the night of Shannon's going-away dinner, we went to a popular Mexican restaurant which I'd frequented years before with Roger and the gang, when we all hung out as a group. As I was paying for my drink, I look up at the other side of the counter and see him, along with two of our other acquaintances (a couple).

I try shouting out for him, but the noise in the bar is so much that he can't hear me calling him. I get my cell phone out to call him, but get his voicemail right away. When I look up, he finally sees me and a stare of shock/surprise comes up on his face. I try to wave him over to say hi, but he ignores it completely and tells me to come over instead. I make my way over, hug him and say hello to the other couple. The guy looks surprised as well and articulates clearly "This is Mrs. West, Roger's wife" and points to the woman behind me with a warning look.

"Wife?? Oh my gosh, congratulations!!" I tell her excitedly as I give her a welcome hug and introduce myself.

I turn around to look at Roger and give him a raised eyebrow and mouth "wife??" as he nervously looks away.

"When did you get married?" I ask

"5 days ago" she answers.

"Wooow. This is great!" I tell her.

I continue catching up with the other couple until our table is ready for dinner and I separate myself from them. I fill my friends in on the ordeal and tell them what had happened previously to which they say "%#@$ him."

At the end of our dinner, I decide to head over to say bye and feel someone grab me by the waist. I turn around, thinking that it was my gay friend, and come face to face with Roger who gives me a hug.

"So how you been?" he asks.

"You're married now? So was this before or after you proposed to me?" I ask him.

"Uuh....." he says as I trail off to find his friends.

I didn't care that he was married; if you ask me, he was duping everyone. What pissed me off was that he could be such an asshole. I know it's silly to think about it, and it was obvious that it wasn't actually real, but I can't help but think how many other girls he fed the same story to. I knew he hadn't changed, and I knew to keep my guard up- and for good reason obviously. He just wanted to get married. Didn't matter to who really.

I paid $12.99 for a cancer bottle

I've had my eye on the Starbucks To-Go cups for a while but couldn't find them online anywhere. Some Ebay vendors were selling them for $30-40 a pop; simply outrageous! I read forums where people were saying Starbucks had only made them available during the holiday season and had quickly sold out. Another person simply suggested to check the local store to possibly find it on the shelf.

I let the idea go for a while, and was actually considering paying up to $20 to get one online if I found one.

I decided to go to my local Starbucks last week just to take a look, and found them stacked on the shelf. YAY! I paid my $12.99 plus tax, and became the proud owner of an overpriced Grande Cold Cup Tumbler by Starbucks Coffee. Oh yeah......

Earlier today, as I was reading through my Yahoo news, I came across an article about 5 Scary Cancer Questions, Answered.

One of the questions asked if we should worry about dangerous chemicals in some bottles. In brief:

"Whenever possible, give plastic water bottles a pass and sip from glass or steel containers instead (I often choose a metal commuter cup);.....and avoid plastics with the code 7 on the bottom—those are more likely to contain BPA"

I happened to turn my cup over and noticed a small "7" on the bottom.

Hmmm, well, isn't that interesting.

Cancer cups are now available online at Starbucks.