Please remind me to post- I do have a few stories I need to share that have happened in the last couple of weeks. I still need to edit the entries so I can publish.
I wanted to make a pit stop and let y'all know I am still alive and very much reading your blogs as well.
I would suggest you make a feedburner available to deliver your blogs directly to my inbox so I can always be up to date.
I'll be back soon with the rest of the dating disasters.
-Ren
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Knowing your limits
You're a friend and you need to stay in that zone damnit!
I met David on POF (I meet most of my guys from dating websites, surprised?) last year as a FRIEND. At least, that's all it has ever been for me. I was with Sebastian at the time and never threw any signals up in the air- or so I thought.
David and I clicked on a friendship level, talking about our gripes in the dating world and about everything else: friends, family, health, school- LIFE in general. We never talked on the phone- it was all through email and some texting. Over time, I too lost track of him, and couldn't ever really focus on what he was doing with his life.
A few months ago, I sent him an email that went unanswered for a whiiile. Some time later, he finally got around to responding, and during the Christmas season sent me a few texts. He asked me how the "boy" was doing, clearly referring to Sebastian. He asked me if I was working over new year's and when I responded that I got the 3rd off he said "I was gonna see if you'd be available for a trip to New Orleans-" wait, what? "but thinking about it wouldn't make sense; too many family folk are going"- phew. Weirdo.
The following week, we decided to go out for drinks to catch up and met up halfway. We had drinks at a retro bar and played trivia as I listened to him talk about school and the dating scene. About an hour later, I'm feeling extremely bored and decide to head home. As we're saying good bye, he comes in to give me a hug- one of those hugs that lasts two seconds too long.
Awkward.
As I try to pull away, I can feel his head trying to turn towards mine, still very much embracing me. I turn the other way as his head follows, his face coming towards mine.
[Gasp] Oh noooooo.
I continue arching my face away as I see his lips coming towards mine. I turn and he lands a kiss on my cheek.
At this point he still has his arms around me, as I try to fidget my way out of them.
Dude, let go!
Once finally freed from his deathly grip, he says with a huge smile "you should invite me over to your place sometime."
Scoffs. "Yeah right" I answer.
"Okay" he laughs nervously.
I quickly get in my car, and speed the hell out of the parking lot, rethinking what the sam-f*&@ just happened back there.
I've always wondered what to do in situations like this. I can understand that attraction between friends can happen- it's normal, but how do you make it obvious you're NOT interested in them THAT WAY? One could say it's as simple as stating it up front, but doesn't that sound a bit.... egocentric? The signs aren't always there.... and the other person could simply say "Well, you were throwing out all the signs!!"
What signs were those?? Being nice? Laughing at your jokes? Teasi-- oh.... shit.... I got it....
Yeah, I can see how you could possibly think I'm interested in you THAT WAY......
F*&#.....
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Year's End
It has been... hold on let me check.... over a month since I last wrote anything at all. I've been busy with "other things" such as work, school, and work. Not much dating has been going, and my temper and patience are starting to wear out thin.
I recently went on a 2-week vacation to South America (which I will comment on in a future post) and I am still HAppiLy SINGle. Yes, believe the "sarcasm"- I am actually happy to be single.
I want to get through finals (tomorrow) before I can update on things that I've been doing in the meantime.
I will you see you all shortly.
-Ren
I recently went on a 2-week vacation to South America (which I will comment on in a future post) and I am still HAppiLy SINGle. Yes, believe the "sarcasm"- I am actually happy to be single.
I want to get through finals (tomorrow) before I can update on things that I've been doing in the meantime.
I will you see you all shortly.
-Ren
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I paid $12.99 for a cancer bottle
I've had my eye on the Starbucks To-Go cups for a while but couldn't find them online anywhere. Some Ebay vendors were selling them for $30-40 a pop; simply outrageous! I read forums where people were saying Starbucks had only made them available during the holiday season and had quickly sold out. Another person simply suggested to check the local store to possibly find it on the shelf.
I let the idea go for a while, and was actually considering paying up to $20 to get one online if I found one.
I decided to go to my local Starbucks last week just to take a look, and found them stacked on the shelf. YAY! I paid my $12.99 plus tax, and became the proud owner of an overpriced Grande Cold Cup Tumbler by Starbucks Coffee. Oh yeah......
I let the idea go for a while, and was actually considering paying up to $20 to get one online if I found one.
I decided to go to my local Starbucks last week just to take a look, and found them stacked on the shelf. YAY! I paid my $12.99 plus tax, and became the proud owner of an overpriced Grande Cold Cup Tumbler by Starbucks Coffee. Oh yeah......
Earlier today, as I was reading through my Yahoo news, I came across an article about 5 Scary Cancer Questions, Answered.
One of the questions asked if we should worry about dangerous chemicals in some bottles. In brief:
"Whenever possible, give plastic water bottles a pass and sip from glass or steel containers instead (I often choose a metal commuter cup);.....and avoid plastics with the code 7 on the bottom—those are more likely to contain BPA"
I happened to turn my cup over and noticed a small "7" on the bottom.
Hmmm, well, isn't that interesting.
Cancer cups are now available online at Starbucks.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Current Updates
With the New Year comes New Resolutions. In recent years, I've been able to keep 2/3 of them, mainly because I am realistic and only aim for 3. This year is no different. My resolutions, (although not goal-oriented ones) for this year are:
So on Monday, while extremely bored at work, I began thinking of ways to become more physically active, and concluded that the gym was the best way to go. I went to the 24-hour fitness website to look for trial passes, and googled my way to a 14-day pass instead.
Once out of work, I hesitated for the full 20 minute ride back to my apartment. Following are the excuses and roadblocks I was giving myself.
Will I have the time?
Classes start soon.
I'd like to get that part time job for the Census this year.
Will I truly commit to going every week?
Can I really afford the $30/month on my budget?
What schedule should I follow?
Should I eat before/after?
What am I really expecting from this?
I still have to go to the college enrollment office today.
I'm very sleepy.
As I pulled into the parking lot of my complex, I gave myself one final push:
Quit making up excuses and do it already! What's 1 hour a day going to cost you? A bag of chips in front of the TV, that's what!
So I went to my college campus to enroll in the classes, and went back to my apartment to get a change of workout clothes. I drove to one of the gyms and was immediately intimated by the full parking lot.
I bet there's a lot of "resolvers" in there.
I'm embarassed to go in.
It's too full! I can't park anywhere.
And I chickened out until the "other me" told me to keep driving to the other gym, just 2 miles down the road.
Once at the other gym, I felt a little more optimistic, yet still intimated. I remember a few months back going into the same gym with a member, and being hassled into signing up before even starting the trial.
You're not going to get me this time. I'm going to try it out on my own terms. No pressure.
I did the tour, and the counselor tried to get me started, telling me the offer was expiring on wednesday. I told him I'd still want to try first to see if I could really commit. He let me go, and I started on the treadmill, walking for 25 minutes, and running for the last 5. I continued with weights, working on my arms and abs.
I left nearly 90 minutes later, feeling very good. I repeated the same task the following day and felt energized and hyper. I went home, took a very long shower and felt great.
I've only told a few people about my new routine, but have not mentioned it to Sebastian. I don't want him to think that this is a phase that I'm going to drop right away, or point out that I don't look toned or thinner if I don't get results fast enough. I've barely begun to change my eating habits and incorporate more vegetables and fruits. It's tough, but I want it to work.
I'm mainly doing this to boost my energy/mood levels and give me endorphins. Losing weight would be an added bonus.
So here's to a new start.
A better me.
- Being more physically active/ Exercise
- Continuing with School
- Working on optimism, happiness and self confidence.
So on Monday, while extremely bored at work, I began thinking of ways to become more physically active, and concluded that the gym was the best way to go. I went to the 24-hour fitness website to look for trial passes, and googled my way to a 14-day pass instead.
Once out of work, I hesitated for the full 20 minute ride back to my apartment. Following are the excuses and roadblocks I was giving myself.
Will I have the time?
Classes start soon.
I'd like to get that part time job for the Census this year.
Will I truly commit to going every week?
Can I really afford the $30/month on my budget?
What schedule should I follow?
Should I eat before/after?
What am I really expecting from this?
I still have to go to the college enrollment office today.
I'm very sleepy.
As I pulled into the parking lot of my complex, I gave myself one final push:
Quit making up excuses and do it already! What's 1 hour a day going to cost you? A bag of chips in front of the TV, that's what!
So I went to my college campus to enroll in the classes, and went back to my apartment to get a change of workout clothes. I drove to one of the gyms and was immediately intimated by the full parking lot.
I bet there's a lot of "resolvers" in there.
I'm embarassed to go in.
It's too full! I can't park anywhere.
And I chickened out until the "other me" told me to keep driving to the other gym, just 2 miles down the road.
Once at the other gym, I felt a little more optimistic, yet still intimated. I remember a few months back going into the same gym with a member, and being hassled into signing up before even starting the trial.
You're not going to get me this time. I'm going to try it out on my own terms. No pressure.
I did the tour, and the counselor tried to get me started, telling me the offer was expiring on wednesday. I told him I'd still want to try first to see if I could really commit. He let me go, and I started on the treadmill, walking for 25 minutes, and running for the last 5. I continued with weights, working on my arms and abs.
I left nearly 90 minutes later, feeling very good. I repeated the same task the following day and felt energized and hyper. I went home, took a very long shower and felt great.
I've only told a few people about my new routine, but have not mentioned it to Sebastian. I don't want him to think that this is a phase that I'm going to drop right away, or point out that I don't look toned or thinner if I don't get results fast enough. I've barely begun to change my eating habits and incorporate more vegetables and fruits. It's tough, but I want it to work.
I'm mainly doing this to boost my energy/mood levels and give me endorphins. Losing weight would be an added bonus.
So here's to a new start.
A better me.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Skewed China birth rate to leave 24 million men single
Skewed China birth rate to leave 24 mln men single - Yahoo! News
I knew this would happen.
When China began controlling its population and limiting families to just one child, it was not uncommon to hear about pregnant mothers aborting their pregnancies when they found out the child they were carrying was a female. Some families went to the extreme and killed the female newborn in the hopes of having a male the next time around and keep the family line going.
So what happens 30 years later?
There is a surplus of males.
This surplus will most likely stabilize the population, if not bring it to a substantial decrease for many decades to come.
Good job.
I knew this would happen.
When China began controlling its population and limiting families to just one child, it was not uncommon to hear about pregnant mothers aborting their pregnancies when they found out the child they were carrying was a female. Some families went to the extreme and killed the female newborn in the hopes of having a male the next time around and keep the family line going.
So what happens 30 years later?
There is a surplus of males.
This surplus will most likely stabilize the population, if not bring it to a substantial decrease for many decades to come.
Good job.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Wedding Cans
I came across the story of Wedding Cans on Yahoo the other day, and have to say I was very impressed by Andrea's ingenious idea to recycle cans to help pay for her wedding in July of 2010. What struck me the most was that she was able to keep it realistic and frugal, planning to aim for a low $3500 wedding party.
I don't recycle cans because there isn't much incentive for me personally and I don't drink canned soft drinks. Moreover, Texas doesn't impose a deposit like California does with the "California's Redemption Value." "CRV, like all container deposit legislation, has three main purposes: it seeks to encourage recycling, discourage littering, and generate revenue from unclaimed redemptions and sales tax on the CRV."
Back in 2006, the rate was an extra 48 cents to your purchase of a 12-pack of sodas. I would often see people on the side of the road collecting cans, and I've also read stories of families making a living by recycling them; a woman in my town did this- she was always on her bike, lugging around cans in trashbags at the wee hours of the day.
Realizing how much carbon emissions could be reduced, I was glad that this couple was working for two causes- their wedding and the environment. I hope they reach their goals. I wouldn't be surprised if they got enough buzz to influence the soft drink manufacturers to pitch in with donations as more of their products are purchased.
I don't recycle cans because there isn't much incentive for me personally and I don't drink canned soft drinks. Moreover, Texas doesn't impose a deposit like California does with the "California's Redemption Value." "CRV, like all container deposit legislation, has three main purposes: it seeks to encourage recycling, discourage littering, and generate revenue from unclaimed redemptions and sales tax on the CRV."
Back in 2006, the rate was an extra 48 cents to your purchase of a 12-pack of sodas. I would often see people on the side of the road collecting cans, and I've also read stories of families making a living by recycling them; a woman in my town did this- she was always on her bike, lugging around cans in trashbags at the wee hours of the day.
Realizing how much carbon emissions could be reduced, I was glad that this couple was working for two causes- their wedding and the environment. I hope they reach their goals. I wouldn't be surprised if they got enough buzz to influence the soft drink manufacturers to pitch in with donations as more of their products are purchased.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I need a change
What do you do when your friends and boyfriend don’t like each other?
I never thought I’d come to see the day. However, in time, I’ve come to understand that while their opinions are important, I think they have an interest in my well being.
Live for yourself. Be happy. I try to do that. I’m actually very selfish now. I lived for my parents far too long and right now….. I just don’t care what they think. It’s a lot easier now that I’m not living under their roof, so it’s not as if they can continue controlling me or influencing me on things that won’t make me personally happy.
Luckily, they approve of Sebastian…. But it’s only because I don’t mention him much….. or the negative aspect of the relationship.
My friends and Sebastian on the other hand…… they hear it all.
Sometimes I wonder if they really do have my best interest at heart, or if they’re jealous that I’m with someone and having fun, but I’m not conceited enough to think that.
About a month before Sebastian broke up with me the first time, I was sad; in the dumps. I wasn’t happy at all, and it was all because of him. He wasn’t making me happy. There weren’t strong enough emotions to put my walls down….. and I protected myself far too much. I was overly pessimistic that it wouldn’t last long, but I was too selfish to end it myself. I wanted someone to spend time with. I wanted the companionship, and truth is…. He wanted it too.
My friend told me to get out. If I wasn’t happy, why continue?
“He’s a good guy” I said.
“But you’re not happy” she countered.
“I know. You’re right. Maybe time will change things” I hoped.
The day they met him, something happened. I found out something that hurt me. It involved his cell, his ex-wife and text messages. You get the idea.
My friends were very mad. Even though he was all smiles and fun with the group, the girls slowly distanced themselves from him and let me make my own decision.
I continued with him because we had only been dating 2 weeks, and the text messages were just a couple of days into our dating; but my friends never really got over it. They blocked him from that day.
My other friend didn’t approve of him either. She only met him once. And it only took one time to judge him (in addition to me talking about my insecurities). Recently, she confessed that I could do so much better. He was too “arrogant” and carried a big ego.
“I know. He told me. He has very high self esteem, and mine is very low. We know this about each other, and it does a number on me,” I admitted.
Thing is, Sebastian doesn’t like her either. He considers her self-involved and conceited.
I understand them both. I’m at fault. I speak about them to the other…. And most times, it tends to be negative because that’s the only time I’ll really share about my friends…….. when things are going bad between us.
I’m a bad person.
I’m embarrassed to bring them together; there’s tension in the air.
My coworker doesn’t say anything, but I can read it in his eyes. He doesn’t approve either, but he respects my relationship. I can sense him thinking “You made the wrong choice by going back together. I watched you cry. I saw you hurt. You don’t deserve him.”
After speaking to my friend, I recognized that because I have such low self esteem, I don’t speak up. I’m concentrated on the negative so as to not be disappointed by the outcome. I’m disappointed by the way I look, and I hang my head low.
The time has come to change things. I need to explore more, accomplish things for myself, and climb out of this box. Put the fear away, not care about what people think, and build thicker skin.
That, and continue with college this semester. School is the only thing that ever made me truly happy. Stressed and anxious, but proud of myself, and very very happy.
I never thought I’d come to see the day. However, in time, I’ve come to understand that while their opinions are important, I think they have an interest in my well being.
Live for yourself. Be happy. I try to do that. I’m actually very selfish now. I lived for my parents far too long and right now….. I just don’t care what they think. It’s a lot easier now that I’m not living under their roof, so it’s not as if they can continue controlling me or influencing me on things that won’t make me personally happy.
Luckily, they approve of Sebastian…. But it’s only because I don’t mention him much….. or the negative aspect of the relationship.
My friends and Sebastian on the other hand…… they hear it all.
Sometimes I wonder if they really do have my best interest at heart, or if they’re jealous that I’m with someone and having fun, but I’m not conceited enough to think that.
About a month before Sebastian broke up with me the first time, I was sad; in the dumps. I wasn’t happy at all, and it was all because of him. He wasn’t making me happy. There weren’t strong enough emotions to put my walls down….. and I protected myself far too much. I was overly pessimistic that it wouldn’t last long, but I was too selfish to end it myself. I wanted someone to spend time with. I wanted the companionship, and truth is…. He wanted it too.
My friend told me to get out. If I wasn’t happy, why continue?
“He’s a good guy” I said.
“But you’re not happy” she countered.
“I know. You’re right. Maybe time will change things” I hoped.
The day they met him, something happened. I found out something that hurt me. It involved his cell, his ex-wife and text messages. You get the idea.
My friends were very mad. Even though he was all smiles and fun with the group, the girls slowly distanced themselves from him and let me make my own decision.
I continued with him because we had only been dating 2 weeks, and the text messages were just a couple of days into our dating; but my friends never really got over it. They blocked him from that day.
My other friend didn’t approve of him either. She only met him once. And it only took one time to judge him (in addition to me talking about my insecurities). Recently, she confessed that I could do so much better. He was too “arrogant” and carried a big ego.
“I know. He told me. He has very high self esteem, and mine is very low. We know this about each other, and it does a number on me,” I admitted.
Thing is, Sebastian doesn’t like her either. He considers her self-involved and conceited.
I understand them both. I’m at fault. I speak about them to the other…. And most times, it tends to be negative because that’s the only time I’ll really share about my friends…….. when things are going bad between us.
I’m a bad person.
I’m embarrassed to bring them together; there’s tension in the air.
My coworker doesn’t say anything, but I can read it in his eyes. He doesn’t approve either, but he respects my relationship. I can sense him thinking “You made the wrong choice by going back together. I watched you cry. I saw you hurt. You don’t deserve him.”
After speaking to my friend, I recognized that because I have such low self esteem, I don’t speak up. I’m concentrated on the negative so as to not be disappointed by the outcome. I’m disappointed by the way I look, and I hang my head low.
The time has come to change things. I need to explore more, accomplish things for myself, and climb out of this box. Put the fear away, not care about what people think, and build thicker skin.
That, and continue with college this semester. School is the only thing that ever made me truly happy. Stressed and anxious, but proud of myself, and very very happy.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
2009- The year in review
I always try to do a little recap (on myspace) about what has happened during the year as it comes to a close. Most of the time, I just pull out memorable moments shared with family and friends, quotes and events. I always try to look at it in a positive light and laugh about any of the blunders I faced, telling myself I'll do better the next year.
2009 for me was........ exciting. But the word "exciting" doesn't explain it justly. It was AMAZING, NEW, FULFILLING, ACCOMPLISHED AND BEAUTIFUL.
Even though I am a depressed individual (and I attribute this to moving out of California and ending a 4 year relationship with my boyfriend) as I summarize 2009, I conclude it as f-kn awesome.
Embarked on a 12-day journey to Europe
I went to California for Christmas break with my family. I returned to Houston to spend New Year's with Sebastian.
I became a naturalized American citizen. (Photo of the Oath Ceremony)
2009 for me was........ exciting. But the word "exciting" doesn't explain it justly. It was AMAZING, NEW, FULFILLING, ACCOMPLISHED AND BEAUTIFUL.
Even though I am a depressed individual (and I attribute this to moving out of California and ending a 4 year relationship with my boyfriend) as I summarize 2009, I conclude it as f-kn awesome.
~LOVE~
No- it didn't happen this year, but I had a lot of fun meeting new guys. I decided to buckle down and consider online dating in January which went poorly--> to good --> to exciting --> to awful--> and to relaxed. I met 6 guys- 4 of which were incredible, well..... the ones I made out with anyway.
I dated James for about 3 weeks in January. To this day, I still consider our first date as the best I've ever had with anyone. However, he decided he was only looking at dating- not a relationship. Faced with rejection once more, I took it extremely hard and cried about it for almost a week. (Pitiful, I know now.)
I met Sebastian in March, a fresh divorcé, and we were a couple all the way until July. He broke up with me stating he wasn't ready for a real relationship, and didn't see us for long term. As of press time, we are together again, and I can't help but wonder why and if his opinions on us have changed at all. I tend to not want to get into conversations regarding the future, and just enjoy the moment.
I went on 3 dates with Gorgeous Guy after Sebastian and I broke up. Even though he was extremely nice, well established and incredibly hot (I still drool when I see his pictures on Facebook) I didn't feel sparks. He was a party animal and too accomplished for me (PhD in Engineering) We didn't have anything to connect with, other than travelling.
I met BEG shortly after and tried my hardest to move on from Sebastian. We dated for 2 months while I selfishly continued in an open relationship with Sebastian- which I kept secret from both guys. When it became apparent that BEG had HPV and oral herpes, I freaked out and slowly started distancing myself, but continued to date him on the side.
~TRAVEL~
I went to NYC for Easter Break, and even though we got a lot of rain the first day, I was excited about going to the Big Apple for the first time.
I also got to visit San Antonio with my family and see the famous Alamo.
Embarked on a 12-day journey to Europe
I went to California for Christmas break with my family. I returned to Houston to spend New Year's with Sebastian.
~Events and Adventures~
Went to the Houston Rodeo, and experienced it for the first time. It was great!!
I graduated from College. Highest Honor Graduate :)
I became a naturalized American citizen. (Photo of the Oath Ceremony)
Went to 2 great concerts by Benny Benassi and David Guetta.
(I'll completely forget about Paul Van Dyk forever cause he sucked)
Went to a very magical night of Disney on Ice
My grandma came to visit us from France for 3 months.
I conclude 2009 with an A. I hope 2010 can continue to be just as exciting.
Happy New Year Everyone!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
To my readers
I will be on vacation beginning Tuesday, November 24, and returning Sunday December 6th.
I will be visiting London, Paris, Marseille and Rome with Sebastian: the boyfriend-turned-ex-turned-open-relationship-turned-boyfriend-again?? I guess you can read the past blogs under his tags to understand our relationship better.
In the meantime, I'd like to thank the following top cities for continuing to follow my blog, and leaving a comment here and there. It puts a BIG SMILE on my face when I get to read your comments because it motivates me to continue writing. I appreciate the time you spend reading past blogs and commenting on things you agree or disagree. It lets me see your points of views and allows me to be more open minded when I read your opinions.
USA:
San Antonio, Austin, Houston, Racine, San Francisco, Alameda, Modesto, Minneapolis, Hopkins, Dayton, Nashville, New York, Bourbonnais, Chicago, Salt Lake City, Springfield , Eden Prairie
UK:
Bootle, London, Canterbury, Huyton-with-Roby, Stapleford
CANADA:
Ottawa, Mont-Royal
AUSTRALIA:
Melbourne, Sydney
JAMAICA:
Kingston
NEW ZEALAND:
Auckland
JAPAN:
Makuhari
I will be visiting London, Paris, Marseille and Rome with Sebastian: the boyfriend-turned-ex-turned-open-relationship-turned-boyfriend-again?? I guess you can read the past blogs under his tags to understand our relationship better.
In the meantime, I'd like to thank the following top cities for continuing to follow my blog, and leaving a comment here and there. It puts a BIG SMILE on my face when I get to read your comments because it motivates me to continue writing. I appreciate the time you spend reading past blogs and commenting on things you agree or disagree. It lets me see your points of views and allows me to be more open minded when I read your opinions.
USA:
San Antonio, Austin, Houston, Racine, San Francisco, Alameda, Modesto, Minneapolis, Hopkins, Dayton, Nashville, New York, Bourbonnais, Chicago, Salt Lake City, Springfield , Eden Prairie
UK:
Bootle, London, Canterbury, Huyton-with-Roby, Stapleford
CANADA:
Ottawa, Mont-Royal
AUSTRALIA:
Melbourne, Sydney
JAMAICA:
Kingston
NEW ZEALAND:
Auckland
JAPAN:
Makuhari
Because of you, Life is great!
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