Monday, January 3, 2011

Knowing your limits

You're a friend and you need to stay in that zone damnit!

I met David on POF (I meet most of my guys from dating websites, surprised?) last year as a FRIEND. At least, that's all it has ever been for me. I was with Sebastian at the time and never threw any signals up in the air- or so I thought.

David and I clicked on a friendship level, talking about our gripes in the dating world and about everything else: friends, family, health, school- LIFE in general. We never talked on the phone- it was all through email and some texting. Over time, I too lost track of him, and couldn't ever really focus on what he was doing with his life.

A few months ago, I sent him an email that went  unanswered for a whiiile. Some time later, he finally got around to responding, and during the Christmas season sent me a few texts. He asked me how the "boy" was doing, clearly referring to Sebastian. He asked me if I was working over new year's and when I responded that I got the 3rd off he said "I was gonna see if you'd be available for a trip to New Orleans-" wait, what? "but thinking about it wouldn't make sense; too many family folk are going"- phewWeirdo.

The following week, we decided to go out for drinks to catch up and met up halfway. We had drinks at a retro bar and played trivia as I listened to him talk about school and the dating scene. About an hour later, I'm feeling extremely bored and decide to head home. As we're saying good bye, he comes in to give me a hug- one of those hugs that lasts two seconds too long.


As I try to pull away, I can feel his head trying to turn towards mine, still very much embracing me. I turn the other way as his head follows, his face coming towards mine.

[Gasp] Oh noooooo.

 I continue arching my face away as I see his lips coming towards mine. I turn and he lands a kiss on my cheek.

At this point he still has his arms around me, as I try to fidget my way out of them.

Dude, let go!

Once finally freed from his deathly grip, he says with a huge smile "you should invite me over to your place sometime."

Scoffs. "Yeah right" I answer.

"Okay" he laughs nervously.

I quickly get in my car, and speed the hell out of the parking lot, rethinking what the sam-f*&@ just happened back there.

I've always wondered what to do in situations like this. I can understand that attraction between friends can happen- it's normal, but how do you make it obvious you're NOT interested in them THAT WAY? One could say it's as simple as stating it up front, but doesn't that sound a bit.... egocentric? The signs aren't always there.... and the other person could simply say "Well, you were throwing out all the signs!!"

What signs were those?? Being nice? Laughing at your jokes? Teasi-- oh.... shit.... I got it....
Yeah, I can see how you could possibly think I'm interested in you THAT WAY......


1 comment:

  1. I have a friend that keeps trying to cross the friend kinda gets annoying sometime.