Knowing your limits

You're a friend and you need to stay in that zone damnit!

I met David on POF (I meet most of my guys from dating websites, surprised?) last year as a FRIEND. At least, that's all it has ever been for me. I was with Sebastian at the time and never threw any signals up in the air- or so I thought.

David and I clicked on a friendship level, talking about our gripes in the dating world and about everything else: friends, family, health, school- LIFE in general. We never talked on the phone- it was all through email and some texting. Over time, I too lost track of him, and couldn't ever really focus on what he was doing with his life.

A few months ago, I sent him an email that went  unanswered for a whiiile. Some time later, he finally got around to responding, and during the Christmas season sent me a few texts. He asked me how the "boy" was doing, clearly referring to Sebastian. He asked me if I was working over new year's and when I responded that I got the 3rd off he said "I was gonna see if you'd be available for a trip to New Orleans-" wait, what? "but thinking about it wouldn't make sense; too many family folk are going"- phew. Weirdo.

The following week, we decided to go out for drinks to catch up and met up halfway. We had drinks at a retro bar and played trivia as I listened to him talk about school and the dating scene. About an hour later, I'm feeling extremely bored and decide to head home. As we're saying good bye, he comes in to give me a hug- one of those hugs that lasts two seconds too long.

Awkward.

As I try to pull away, I can feel his head trying to turn towards mine, still very much embracing me. I turn the other way as his head follows, his face coming towards mine.

[Gasp] Oh noooooo.

 I continue arching my face away as I see his lips coming towards mine. I turn and he lands a kiss on my cheek.

At this point he still has his arms around me, as I try to fidget my way out of them.

Dude, let go!

Once finally freed from his deathly grip, he says with a huge smile "you should invite me over to your place sometime."

Scoffs. "Yeah right" I answer.

"Okay" he laughs nervously.

I quickly get in my car, and speed the hell out of the parking lot, rethinking what the sam-f*&@ just happened back there.

I've always wondered what to do in situations like this. I can understand that attraction between friends can happen- it's normal, but how do you make it obvious you're NOT interested in them THAT WAY? One could say it's as simple as stating it up front, but doesn't that sound a bit.... egocentric? The signs aren't always there.... and the other person could simply say "Well, you were throwing out all the signs!!"

What signs were those?? Being nice? Laughing at your jokes? Teasi-- oh.... shit.... I got it....
Yeah, I can see how you could possibly think I'm interested in you THAT WAY......

F*&#.....

The men in my life....

Just keep disappearing.

I wonder if I'm supposed to play with them, treat them like shit, or be sensitive, but all of them just disappear so damn quickly. We have a great week of emails, chatting and phone talks. We meet, things get exciting, heat up then quickly fizzle.

Could it also have anything to do with putting out too quickly?

My friends say I should stop and meet men the old fashioned way and stay away from the internet.  Online dating websites have become a supermarket for me- carefully picking out from the top shelf near the back for the good stuff. Yet, everything just happens to fall right onto my face cause I can't quite grasp things so far out of reach.

Am I supposed to play with men the same way I've been played and hope that one of them will actually want to follow me?  Do I need to be dominant at first, and submissive later?

One year later....

I just realized that it is my one year blogoversary today.  What better way to celebrate than to summarize the beautiful, crappy, exciting, sexy, and sad things that happened since the inception (no, not the movie) of this Survival Guide along with the things I have learned since then.

A year ago, I was researching my first apartment, and was in a complicated open relationship with my ex-boyfriend Sebastian. Sebastian became a character in this blog and garnered the affection and approval of quite a few readers even though he was very difficult to deal with.  He had excess baggage from his previous marriage, a lot of which carried over into our time.

I didn't speak up enough in the very beginning, but in time, I learned to voice out my concerns and frustrations with the help and support of you, my readers.

Even though I still hold some anger towards Sebastian, it is only because the end came before I wanted it.  Sebastian had always been a gentleman and I can't badmouth him. Things didn't work out between us, but he was great, unfortunately.

During the year, I also managed to go to Europe for a dozen days and explore other cultures. I experienced new things with Sebastian, and visited new places as well.

I also managed to go back to school and continue with the prerequesites for Business Administration. I lost my job at the construction company, and was dumped by Sebastian within the same time period.

I had my grieving period and started dating again- most of which have not managed to outlast the dreaded 2-week period [sigh].

Since Sebastian, I became involved with a few guys where it didn't quite work out. I wasn't romanced and pursued and quickly lost interest in the potential candidates.

I began a new job which showed me how to be part of a bigger team and feel much more appreciated than before. I learned to like and dislike the benefits of being single.

It's been an eventful year so far, and I really have no idea what's on my plate in my personal life from here on out.

The only thing I've got looking up for me is my next planned vacation during Thanksgiving Break: Chile and Peru, here I come!

On a special note:
To my subscribed readers and frequent visitors:

Thank you in the USA to : L.A., Modesto, Alameda, San Fran, Austin, Bourbonnais, Chicago, Racine, New York, Brooklyn, Pinellas Park, Lutz, Greensboro, Bellingham, Minneapolis, Dayton, Nashville, Atlanta, Portland, Phoenix, Midvale, and of course HOUSTON.

Canada: Saskatoon, Toronto and Don Mills

England= my favorite group of people!!: London, Wigan, Bootle, Liverpool, Canterbury, and Manchester

Norway: Bergen and Stavanger

Germany: Cologne, Berlin and Munich

Australia: Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney, Adelaide

and special recognition in : Ireland, France, the Netherlands, Austria, Switzerland, Italy, Spain, Greece, Russia, Poland, Philippines, India, Japan, New Zealand, Argentina, Brazil and Chile

This blog is for you.
Thank you.

What I really mean when I say the following

The dating scene has been.... exciting to say the most. I've met some great guys, funny, intelligent and all respectful- real gentlemen, thank God. About half of them went as far as the third date, while the other half never made it past the first.

It got me thinking the other day while I was reading an article on Yahoo about the things guys will say, and the truth behind those expressions. I figured I'd add my two cents in to contribute my own version of encrypted statements.

What I say: We really shouldn't
What I really mean: If I didn't stop drinking after one beer and I'm in your apartment, you can bet that I REALLY WANT TO, but I don't want to get burned like I did the last time around. I'm only sleeping with you if you're my boyfriend. SO at least pretend to give me that.

What I say: I just don't think we clicked
What I really mean: You aren't attractive enough for me to overlook that and be sold on your personality alone.

What I say: You really need to visit California/Vegas/any major place I've been
What I really mean: I'm hoping we can date long enough so that we can take this trip together.

What I say: I've had sex with 3 guys
What I really mean: I've had vaginal sex with 3 different guys. You'll figure out the rest in time when I'm more comfortable talking about it with you.

What I say: What's your longest relationship?
What I really mean: Are you more for long term or short term?

What I say: Are you and your ex on speaking terms?
What I really mean: How did your romance end? Will I consider her a threat in our relationship; Will she make appearances or be brought up a lot in conversations?

What I say: How are you with kids?
What I really mean: Can you get along with younger kids, prefereably my 10-year twin sisters so one day we can all go out together.

What I say: Heeeey, haven't heard from you in a while.
What I really mean: Where the @$%& have you been and why haven't you called until now?!

What I say: So what's a regular week like for you?
What I really mean: I want to know your schedule so I can tell if you're avoiding me when you don't call because you're "busy" all of a sudden after the first date

What I say: I had a great time. We should do this again sometime.
What I really mean: Call me tomorrow

What I say: Well, thank you for dinner/coffee. It was nice meeting you.
What I really mean: Yeah, this isn't going to work out.

What I say: Oh my God you're huge.
What I really mean: OMFG you're HUGE.:)

Looking past the "First Date Mistake"

Early Friday afternoon, my boss came up to my desk and said "I have two tickets to the Astros game tonight. Do you want them?" "Sure, yes!" I answered.  "Here, take them. Have fun. I want to see pictures on Monday."
 
As a good friend, I texted one of my girlfriends first to see if she wanted to go but said she couldn't. I had two other options: two guys I was currently talking to. One was Aaron, the other was Nate. I had befriended them both on Facebook in the hopes of finding out if they had more pictures that would help me determine if they were in fact as attractive as their profile pics.
 
I first accepted Aaron’s request and went to look at his pictures. I was very disappointed by what I found, or didn't find for that matter. Most of his pictures were 4 years old. Oh hell no. As we had talked earlier, I had asked him what kind of girl he was attracted to and he'd said someone who took care of herself physically saying he ran 3 miles every other day.
 
I really don't think you run cause the most recent picture showed a really chubby guy. Ugh. I hate guys who put "average" instead of "a few extra pounds". Man up and be honest!
 

Nate on the other hand appeared to be more physically fit and had a stare that really attracted me.
 
Aaron had already asked me out twice on too much of a short notice which I had turned down. Nate seemed like the perfect candidate so when my friend said no, I texted him if he was free that night to go to the game. He replied saying yes and we made plans to go for dinner before the game. I was a bit concerned that we might not be able to hit it off and that we'd be stuck with each other for 3 hours afterwards during the game.
 
Luckily we hit it off right away and had much to talk about. We arrived at the game and settled in to our seats right by the dugout and had a great time.
 

 
Even though I was attracted to Nate, I was concerned that he might not be attracted to me. This is what happens when you have low self esteem- you believe that you’re never good enough to be liked; Therefore I didn't want to get my hopes up for fear that it would backfire. When the game ended we remained in our seats to watch the fireworks display afterwards. He slowly put his arm around me and let me lay my head on his shoulder. The first step to mutual attraction [sighs.]
 
When the fireworks ended, Nate asked me if I wanted to go to the bar across the street. He got us drinks and as the alcohol slowly started taking over, the conversation became seemingly easier. We spent a few hours talking and soonafter challenged one another to darts; the loser would have to take a swig of beer. We were laughing, flirting with each other, and watching the other drunk people around us stumble to the ground. At one point, Nate said “Ok, the next game is for a kiss.”
 
I went along for it, not realizing that either way, we would end up kissing- that’s how drunk I was.  I lost, brought his face towards my lips and kissed him. We continued playing, getting a kiss after each game, and eventually went back out onto the porch so he could smoke a cigarette.

I'm sorry, what? "You smoke?" I asked. "Only when I drink" he said. Ew... gross.  He pulled out a fancy black box from his pocket and showed me what he smoked.

 
"See, look. It's an e-cigarette" he pointed out.
 
I admit I was curious and asked if I could try it. It felt like smoking hookah. The filter he was using was mentholated and wasn't as painful as taking a long drag from a regular cigarette. The air I exhaled turned out to be a water vapor instead of "second hand smoke." He only took about 3 drags from the cigarette during the night and put it away each time.
 
At one point, we ended up talking with a few other drunk people outside on the patio and can't quite remember how it lead to the discussion of dating but I remember him telling one of the older women there "Yeah, this is our first date."
 
"First date? really? Awww..... Honey look! It's their first date" she commented to her male partner.
 
I couldn't help but feel both happy and sad at the same time. Happy to hear him acknowledge our meeting as a date to strangers, but sad that this would be the only "first date" we'd experience. The excitement for each other would never be able to amount to that first night we spent together; I'd never be able to feel that confused, happy, giddy feeling in my stomach ever again as I did during our first date.


As the bar closed down, it was time to go back. We weren't ready to call it a night and wanted to stay together, but couldn't think of any place to go to just talk. The only options were to go to a 24-hour diner and get something to eat, or back to the other's place; I'd promised myself that as much as I wanted to be near him, it wouldn't be the right thing to do on the first date. I admit I wouldn't mind doing it, but I know it's not the greatest idea- we all know what happened when I rushed things with Matt, the marine right?
 
I had to go pick up my car at work, so we stayed in the parking lot for a while. Some time later, I actually dozed off or passed out, and woke up to us kissing, his hand caressing my breast, unbuttoning my shirt.
 
Wait, what? What's going on? I was completely out of it, and even though I noticed we were kissing, my ability to react wasn't all in place and I didn't respond until he was halfway through my buttons. I knew his hand was there, but my mind just reacted too late. Or maybe subconsciously, I wanted it as well.  I stopped him, fumbled slowly to get my buttons back on, let out a small sigh of frustration and got out of the truck. I walked back to my car without looking back and got in. A few minutes later he left.

On the way home, I received the following text from him:

“Ok, I guess I shouldn’t expect a reply but I thought we were messing around. I’m sorry if I crossed a line I didn’t know or else I wouldn’t have. I just thought we were both enjoying it. I’m really confused right now and I hope you’re ok. If you need something let me know.  I really did like you and I didn’t mean to cross that line.”

I thought about texting back when I got home but decided to call and chew him out instead.

“Why would you do that?” I questioned.
“I’m sorry, I just thought we were in the moment and that you felt the same way. I’m really sorry” he replied.
“I was asleep when you started doing that” I told him.
“Well, you were kissing me back so I didn’t think you were” he said
“I’m drunk, and I’m really disappointed in you Nate” I said.
“Oh man, I’m really sorry. The last thing I want you to think is that I took advantage of you. It’s just….. it’s been so long for me… I’m really really sorry” he admitted.

I could sense he was legitimately sorry and decided to give him one more chance. “I can admit that all the drinking we did tonight impaired us a lot and made us do things we probably wouldn’t have done sober. So tell you what, sleep on it. Think about what you’ve done, and if you want to talk to me again, you’ll call me tomorrow,” I told him bluntly.

“I don’t need to wait until tomorrow” he said.

I have my reasons for letting this slide. For one, a lot worse happened with my last boyfriend Sebastian, on our first date last year. I actually cried as I drove back home. I was blindsided and let things progress to benefit him solely. I was very ashamed of what had happened. Sebastian apologized profusely, and the very next day brought me roses and took me to dinner. Yep, that’s the way to do it!

With Nate, I didn’t let things go that far, and I know that alcohol played a big role in me letting loose and dropping my guard substantially. But I also walked away quietly and made him ashamed of what he’d done.  In a way, I knew we would end up making out if I stayed longer in his truck- however, the whole unbuttoning-the-shirt thing threw me off guard completely. I wasn’t expecting that at all.  I’m not going to lie and say it felt horrible. It felt good and it was pleasant, but I knew this shouldn’t be happening on a first date, so I put a stop to it. I’m pretty sure that if I would have told him “No” in the moment, he would have stopped also.

The next day, around 2 o’clock, Nate called me and we talked for about an hour before he went to sleep (he works graveyard shift.)  I didn’t feel like bringing up the incident, and ultimately swept it under the rug.  I invited him over for breakfast at my apartment on Sunday morning and we spent a couple of hours talking and watching TV. We didn’t make any other plans past the week, and due to our schedules, haven’t talked on the phone, but we’ve been able to text a few times and are planning to meet up again on Friday night.

If I let it, I know sex can happen, but after what happened with Matt, I’m not willing to put myself into that position. I know it’s better to wait and get to know each other, so that when the act does happen, there’s actually feelings involved and better chances that it may last longer than just a couple of weeks.

Or maybe I’m just a modern girl trying to exercise power and control. Yeah, we’ll see how that goes….

I think my safeguard is to just not shave prior to Friday.
Any ideas on how to withhold sex?

Megaphone Guy

I’ve decided to lay low on OKCupid and have deactivated my profile for the time being, however, not before pulling out the last two candidates and continuing the dating process off the site through texting and AIM.


Late last week, I continued messaging another guy who was a 30-year old high school teacher. I appreciated his direct approach when he messaged me “I’m in the mood for pie and coffee. Are you busy this weekend?”

I like direct men. It shows confidence and weeds out the otherwise shy, quiet guys. I told him I was up for it, seeing as to how he appeared normal in his pictures and online, and we agreed to meet up on Saturday night.

He told me he’d call between 3 and 4 on Saturday afternoon and at 3:50 pm, my phone rang.

Hmmm, right on time. I like this.

He sounded extremely chipper and active and told me we could meet up on my side of town at The House of Pies. “And if you want, we can go out later, to like Dave and Buster’s” he said

What if I don’t like the guy? Ugh… I don’t want to get stuck following up on an agreement if I want to pull out.

“Uh, let’s see how we do first. I mean, I don’t want to pressure you into hanging out if we don’t get along” I told him. “Ok, sounds fair” he answered.

That night, I got caught in a thunderstorm, and I showed up to the diner about 20 minutes late. On the way there, I tried to pump myself up and hoped “Man, let this guy be IT.” I saw him from a distance and continued walking towards him. I was completely shocked by what I came up to.

Oh man was he NOT what I was expecting. He looked completely different from his profile picture. Maannn…. I should pay closer attention and always find a way to ask for MORE pictures. We greeted with a hug and sat down. I couldn’t look at him straight in the eyes. He was so unattractive. But what bothered me the most weren’t his looks- it was his loudness. He talked so loud that everyone within a 4 table radius could notice we were on a first date. He wasn’t talking to me personally- he was talking to the entire diner. He was hyper, excited and too outgoing. Megaphone guy. So I played the cold and quiet card.

Man this sucks. I got stuck with an ugly guy. Again. We continued with the date and ordered something to eat. I honestly lost my appetite and ordered an ice cream shake instead. I tried effortlessly to speak to him in a quiet tone so he’d get the hint. Didn’t work. I just kept looking around at the other customers, sinking lower and lower into the booth.

About an hour later, I decided to hint that I was leaving. I told him I was going to my mom’s for the night and bid him good night.  As he walked back to his car, I noticed he had slumped down and was no longer standing tall.  The date lasted an hour. It actually took me longer than that to get ready. Past midnight, he texted me “Had a good time tonight, sorry pie and coffee wasn’t your thing.” I don’t remember responding, but the following day, around midnight again I got the following text “Assuming there won’t be a second date, which seems safe based on last night, I just wanted to extend best wishes and say good luck in the whole finding happiness life thing. Bye.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

Oh well, one guy chucked out of the running. No big deal.

My first time

No. This isn’t about my first time venturing off into sexual relationships. Nothing went wrong for me, so it wouldn’t make for interesting reading.

No, no. This is about his first time.

How the hell could this happen to me?!

Trevor and I met up for our second date earlier this week at a pub for trivia night. We had a good time, conversing about simple subjects and whatnot. He opened up a little more about his past and went on to say that he hadn’t dated for the last six years that he was in college.  The only girlfriends he'd had had been in high school.  We later went on to a pizza parlor to have dinner and then brought me back to where I had parked my car.  It was a bit awkward for me considering I wasn’t ready to call it a night at 10pm yet, so I huffed silently to myself, gave him a hug and walked back to my car a bit upset.

Whatever.

The next day while at work, I text him “I feel it was a bit awkward last night, and I’m wondering if we’re compatible. However, I’d like to suggest we hang out in a more casual setting, say to watch a movie. What do you think?”

He agreed, and invited me back to his place after work, but not before asking “awkward how?”

I told him we could talk about it later and that I’d stop by around 8 that night.

I tried to work myself up for that night and get excited. I mean, it was another date….. behind closed doors….. you know what I mean?

I showed up to his place; he gave me a tour of the house and I later picked out the movie: Quantum of Solace. We sat down next to each other on the couch until halfway through the movie when he finally moved closer to put his arm around me.  Slowly but surely I started inching my way over until I finally just lay on his chest for the duration of the movie.

 Awww, how cute.

 Right.

 When the movie ended, he started talking again about his shyness and lack of dating experience in the past.  I was starting to get tired of the same song- having heard it twice previously.  I somehow managed to ask him about his experience.

A few silent moments pass until he opens up and says "Yeah um.... I’m still a virgin”

Oh.My.F*.God.

I try to comprise myself and add “Yeah, I kinda had a feeling you might be.”

”I might as well tell you now, you were going to find out anyway” he said.

 Awkward…..

A few more silent moments pass, my mind starts to wonder and I ask “Were you waiting for something? Like, that special person, or do you just want to get it over with?”

He pauses, thinks and says “It’s not that I was waiting. It just….. never happened for me. I never got the chance. I never dated while I was in college. I was too focused on school. And now that I have a job and am stable, I’m looking to start dating.”

My mind was beginning to wander even further.

“I’m not sure if I should be here right now. My hormones are a little off, and I could easily just pounce on you right now” I told him, at which he laughed. Nervously.

“I mean, would it be wrong to say that I want to right now? Would you be up for it?” I asked.

Silence.

“Uh, I don’t know how good I’d be. I’d probably be really nervous and I wouldn’t last long” he said.

In the back of my head I’m thinking- if he’s a virgin, he’s bound to be really excited right? At least, my first time with my virgin boyfriend was pretty great. Meh, might as well give it a shot.

After nearly 15 minutes of mulling it over, I asked him if he had condoms to which he answered “Yeah, they’re old, but I don’t think they’re expired.”

Hey, at least he’s prepared.

 I moved back up to his face and slowly put my mouth on his.

 W.T.F?! Where the hell is his tongue??

Imagine a pucker fish. Got it? Good. He kissed with his mouth wide open. While trembling.

 Oh my god- he doesn’t know how to kiss.  Shit, how will the sex be?

 After about 15 minutes trying to fight with his mouth and telling him “give me your tongue” I suggested we go into his bedroom.

He goes into his bathroom and produces a brand new box of Trojans, Non-Lubricated condoms and a tiny bottle of lube.

Oh man, this is going to hurt.

We go on his bedside and both start undressing ourselves. No- not each other, but one selves. I get on his bed and notice him grabbing a condom and try to put it on. I see he still has his boxers on, and tell him to take them off.

That’s when I notice it. And gasp internally.

 What the hell is he doing??


I calmly tell him “You’re not hard- You’re not going to be able to get the condom on.”

He looks down confused and continues trying.

Does he seriously not know there’s no way in hell he can get a condom on without an erection?

I look at him and notice he’s smiling nervously. “You’re going to have to help me” he says.

Yeah, I can see that.

Once hard enough, I manage to pull the condom all the way down and he gets on top of me, at which I grab to guide him through.

Flaccid.

What the hell? How can- what the hell??

I tell him to slowly start thrusting while I try to get him to go in, with the hopes he’ll become erect again.

Nothing. Nowhere close. He’s just not hard!

I tell him “It’s not going to work. You’re not hard” as he moves to the side and I take off the condom.

I look at his penis and decide to head south, thinking maybe he needs foreplay. It works, for a while, but as soon as I fight to put on the condom, it deflates. Somehow though, I sense he’s still excited.

Is it possible to be turned on but not have an erection?

I try again, and as soon as I sense enough hardening, I get a third condom out and put it on for him.  As soon as it is on again, he loses the erection.

“I think I’m just really nervous” he says.

I’m trying to be really patient, but I’m getting frustrated. I’m sorry.

He comes over to my side and looks a little lost as well, but not quite disappointed. Seeing as to how he’s still willing to continue, I guide his hand to my nether region.  Hell, if I can’t get it the regular way, might as well go in the easiest way.

 He moves his hand every which way, not knowing what to do.

“Put your fingers here, like this” I say as I guide him.

He fumbles but finally manages to get them in right. Deep enough to actually hit my G-spot.  I actually squealed. At least he got that right. Right enough to give me three orgasms. I’m not making this up.

After that’s done, I try to work on him again to see if maybe we can salvage something.

He actually says to me “Maybe I should lie down, that would help me relax.”

[scoff]

“Yeah, sure” I tell him.

As I’m working on him, I notice he doesn’t become fully erect but manages to wince and gasp nervously. It’s as if he is enjoying it, but is too nervous to become fully erect.

 Or maybe he just can’t get erect at all?

[gasp]

By midnight, I decide to call it a night and wind things down. I got mine, but he didn’t get his, considering he never came. I got dressed and got my stuff to head out. He walks me to door, hugs me and misses my lips by a mile.

I do the walk of shame back to my car, all the while cussing myself out for assuming he’d be a “reasonable participant.”

Today, while at work, I text my guy friend to break in the news to which he responds with a text full of “hahahaahahhhahaahahahahaha”

I tell him I feel guilty and obligated to continue trying until he finally completes the deed, at which he tells me to be patient, work with him and give him some alcohol, but not get him drunk. “Hey, at least you can teach him to your satisfaction!” he adds.

What do you think? Should I keep trying to get him ready for the next person? Or just save my dignity and walk away?

I have a date

I have a first date on Saturday with a cute, shy, younger (24) guy I've been emailing for... wow, almost 2 weeks now. Though I admit he's not the most interesting character and BEG keeps telling me not to trust him, I can't help but think how harmful someone who can quote "The Sandlot" entirely can be.

When I suggested we watch the movie, along with The Boondock Saints because I'd never seen it, I asked which house. He asked me if I wouldn't mind meeting his mother and sister for the first time, which hints to me that he wants to go back to his mom's.

[sigh]

Yeah, sure, I guess that's entirely safe; it just feels weird.

Anyway, just thought I'd update on the lack of excitement I've been having this week. Maybe I'm just harder to please nowadays.....

One guy reminds me so much of BEG in the sense that he tries so hard! He seems hyperactive and even though he gives me quite a few chuckles, can't help but think how weird this guy is in real life. Plus, it doesn't help that he's 29 and doesn't want to work. He's actually separated from the NAVY and going back to school on the G-Bill. He's pretty content with the $1500 monthly allowance he gets and doesn't work. I'm sorry, but personally, his attraction level just dropped by about 30 points. He wants to meet, but I'm hesitant. He lives really far (about 40 miles away.)  Actually him and another guy are doing the same thing; the other guy does a part time waiting tables and is even more timid.

I've enrolled in summer school and will be started this coming Monday. Calculus and Computer applications. Wish me luck..... in more ways than one!

One week later, and still no date

I'm expecting a miracle.  I don't put in as much effort as I remember doing the first time I ventured off into online dating. However, I notice I've become a little  picky and shallow of potential candidates. That being said, I enjoy the entertainment these charming guys are able to give me.

• Dear Guy: I'm annoyed that you will only write me once every other day. Damnit, if you really want to date, step it up a little or don't write back at all! It leaves me on the fence as to whether or not you're really interested or if you're just bored.
• Please give me more than just "hi" or "how r u." Would you be happy if I only wrote back "Fine"?
• Screennames like dreamsnme, Splyff, and teddybear09 will just make me laugh at you. I hope you realize that it's an indication of your maturity/intelligence.
• DON'T YOU DARE put in "average" for body type if you're 30 lbs overweight and it SHOWS.
• Get rid of these pictures:
  




1)
2)
3)
4)
5)

1) I can't see your face, dumb*ss
2) Your last girlfriend took that picture after you two had sex
3) I can't tell if you're gay or straight
4) "Average" body type on your profile? Yeah, more like "Average Joe"
5) I had tears in my eyes after seeing this one


And just to let you know, I am sooooo sorry if I end up back on your profile 2 or 3 times again. The first time, I just browse. The second time I'm curious. And the third time, you all start to look the same and I'm just desperate because I haven't found anyone else.

Happy Dating!

I'm impatient with online dating

As you may recall, I went back onto POF to start looking for fresh fish again. I'd gone on a few dates in the past both before and in-between Sebastian. The dates had been fun(ish) but they hadn't materialized into anything due to my lack of commitment.

I updated my POF profile, made it public and left it there. I didn't get anything interesting the first day, and I admit I started getting impatient. I started looking elsewhere and considered joining eHarmony and Match and paying for it.  I figured that if a guy is willing to drop some money in a dating service, he must be serious about looking. Then I decided I should give it at least a week, considering that new people join everyday.

I did a quick search of comparisons of websites and fell on okcupid

It had a feel for POF and match.com. I liked it for the fact that it has an extensive amount of questions you can answer for others to see if they answer it publicly also.  It has a few different sections for information to fill out so as to give a viewer's head start on their background, life, likes/dislikes. I like it because I can put in as much information as I want and give the guy a chance to know about me before he can contact so to have something to talk about.

There are countless questions, so I actually had more fun filling out the questions than looking around. In the meantime, I've been exchanging emails with one guy who lives in Houston and has proven to hold my attention.  The only thing I'm concerned about is that he has been a serial monogamist and has never been in a "relationship" longer than 2 months, and has been single for a year.  My "shortest" relationship was that with Sebastian which lasted a year, so I'm hoping that didn't scare him off.

Our emails have gotten pretty long, but BEG is convinced that he's full of it.  I told him he was probably just jealous to which he said "a lot of my girl friends say that. I guess I'm just protective."

Um... thanks?

Meanwhile, my dad is home for Memorial Day weekend and I am pet sitting a friend's puppy. Her name is Luna: