I have to say my sexual demons have awoken more recently. I can see how much I've changed over the years; when I think back to all the things I said I'd never do, only to do them years later,I can't help but laugh. I feel as the more I mature, the better I'm able to deal with emotions and feelings and handle attachment issues.
Things with BEG have always been...... secretive. We've always shared "those talks"- you know, the ones you really shouldn't be having with a girl because you're already in a "committed relationship"? But with BEG, it's always been a game. I've never developed feelings for him, and it's mainly because the guy turns me off with his character. If there's a way to say something repulsive, he'll do it and not think twice about it.
This time he's in.... Singapore for work, and has been for over a month. He tells me repeatedly that he's sexually frustrated because he can't do anything about it. Somehow, we tend to gravitate towards each other to vent out.
Ren: say you weren't in a relationship with someone back home, would you still be having sex as often?
BEG: back home?
BEG: oh I would have tried to of gotten it plenty of times here. probably not as often, but idk.
Ren: no, i wasn't referring to the asian sex, but the Houstonian. do you have backups?
BEG: oh, idk, depends on if any girls will let me. Lol. I don't have official back-ups no
Ren: if only there was a "lightbulb" emoticon
BEG: what do you mean? idea?
BEG: what's the idea
Ren: "official" backups
BEG: lol, would be good to have I feel
Ren: never occurred to me before
BEG: wanna be mine if I'm ever single?
Ren: thought you'd never ask
BEG: sounds like a plan to me
Ren: hopefully you'll find me in the right mood
BEG: lol. what would a bad mood be?
Ren: not in the mood. it's not bad, it's just.... not clicking... it's not there
BEG: aw. Gotcha. so the official back up still means you have to be in the mood, how gay is that. j/k
Ren: haha. well no- the official back up means you come when i say so. pun intended.
BEG: lol. I think I can handle that
So this is what happens when you're single and bored. You devise a plan to get a "backup buddy."
I wonder if it'll ever come to materialize....