April Fool's Prank

I've tried hard during the last few years to get someone good on April 1st. It has worked out pretty well, and this year, I decided to try out my luck on Matt, the ex-marine.

 

The reason it worked out so well was because we'd recently had sex. In his own words: "You just about killed me though. Almost chocked. Good one. Not original, but the timing played out perfectly."

And so long 'til next year's prank....

Where's the condom?

[continued from Previous Post]

I finally walked in to my apartment around 9:30pm on Monday night, finally able to relax and breathe a sigh of tranquility. I got to my phone and messaged Matt, the ex-Marine, which I'd previously had a fling with during the summer, and an out-of-the blue cyber session turned real. We'd been talking through Facebook and texting casually over the last couple of weeks, making jokes and trying to keep conversation going, being discreetly flirtatious. Albeit forced, but in the least, entertained when nothing else was going on.


Ren: Come change my clocks. I'm too short
Matt: Ok. I'll be over soon.
Ren: :p
Matt: I'll leave in like 30 min, I'll come change your clocks.
Ren: I'm so exhausted  [as I was getting laundry started]
Matt: :(
Ren: Wait. Are you serious?
Matt: lol. I was!
Ren: Oh.
Ren: Um. Ok.
Matt: Lol. You are exhausted and I'm sure you work in the morning though.
Ren: Dammit stop it!
Matt: What?
Ren: I'm sure I can find some energy somewhere. Plus, if you don't change those clocks, I'll be late to work.
Matt: lol. What time you have to be up for work?
Ren: So yeah I'm serious. 7 at the latest. I'm taking a shower right now, so that knocks out
some time for tomorrow.

10 minutes later

Ren: Are you coming.....?
Matt: Yes. I gotta take a shower though.... lol
Ren: Ok! Then I'll see you here soon.
Matt: You care if I just bum out....
Ren: What does that mean?
Matt: Just like pj's I guess...lol
Ren: Oh. Yeah, it'll be two of us in that case. Well.... Clothing IS optional
Matt: Lol.
Ren: When you leaving?
Matt: I just left

30 minutes later

Matt: I'm on Wesheimer by the Galleria.

Damnit- that's still a good 15-20 minutes out!

Ren: Damn I really need to teach you how to get here.

15 minutes later

Matt: The gate open?
Ren: Should be yeah. Where are you?

Knock, knock, knock

Excited, I walked to my door, and greeted Matt. We both say hi, while I returned to my room to continue unpacking my suitcase.  Matt came into my room, and got under the covers saying he was cold. He bundled up under my blanket and I started telling him of my trip to St. Louis. I quickly realized that I also needed to pack up another suitcase to go stay at my friend's house the next few days to take care of her dog. "Aw crap. I just unpacked, and now I need to pack again. Forget it. I'll come back and do it tomorrow night. I'm too tired" I exclaimed as he laughed. I turned the lights off and got into bed with Matt, and we continued talking and making jokes. He cuddled with me tightly as I tried to get into a comfortable position on his chest, which wasn't working the way I wanted it to. I hovered over his lips, restraining myself to see which one of the two would make the first move.

He did.

We began kissing and getting comfortable and undressed in the bed, where... well, you can guess what happened. Or maybe not.

I sensed that he was ready and up at full mast, prompting me to say "Condom!" He looked at me and said "I don't have one." "Don't worry, I have one" and reached into my closet to frantically pull out a  few.

Hey, one session ain't gonna cut it mister.

As soon as I come back to bed, my dreaded failure. He's at half mast.

Son of a b...... motherf....... what the hel.....?

WHY???

Why is it this happening again?? Oh God, I haven't had good sex in a while, and you're telling me that my favorite person can't perform with it? Why?

Matt tried getting the job done, but it really wasn't working.
"What's wrong?" I asked as he thrust.
"It's the condom. I can't feel anything" I honestly felt the need to say "Well you could before. So why the change damnit?" Have these guys become spoiled? I was actually expecting Matt to remain erect; it hadn't "really" been a problem in our previous encounters, so what changed? Sex with a flaccid penis isn't fun. Neither one of us can feel anything, and it feels like "sex" with Trevor last year (poor guy...)

And not much really happened. Matt didn't orgasm, though I did (miraculously; I have no idea how.) He took the condom off, got up to the other side of the bed, and went back to cuddling, drifting off to half-sleep. When I turned my butt to his crotch, Matt saw this as an invitation and had easy access as everything was right in front of him. He attempted a few more times, and although it felt good, I was extremely nervous this time around.  
I'm fertile right now. Today is not the day to try the pull-out method!

I had to put a stop to it and tell him not to do it. It wasn't safe. Matt and I went back to sleep, though I continued waking up throughout the night. It's happened before when he's there. The next morning, I got up at 7 to get ready for work while he remained in bed. He walked me out to my car and bid each other good day. When I came back home that night, I continued cleaning up and started looking for the used condom around the night table, thinking he had dropped it on the floor. I checked the trashcans, the boxes, under the covers. Nothing.

Where the hell is that condom??

Matt hadn't used the bathroom, so I knew he hadn't flushed it down the toilet. I started worrying, thinking if the next person came to my bedroom would come upon it. Oh the embarrassment. I continued looking for it but nothing. I checked the pillow cases, behind the bed, the curtain, even the shoe box next to the bed. Nothing.

I'm confused.

I texted Shannon "I lost a condom in my room last night."
"Hahhaah, how did you do that?" she responded.
I replied "I don't know where it's at. I can't find it. He took it off and I don't know..... Man, if this is a prank, I have to say 'well played.'"

Twinkies and Sex

I, Renrexx, am guilty of so-called Booty Call. I behaved like a man, and quite frankly, enjoyed every second of it. The suitor in this story? Matt, the Marine, my Plan B mishap.

Matt and I stopped talking sometime during the summer before I met Nate. Things with us didn't work out- we both stopped calling each other. It was a mutual falling out, a courtship that quickly fizzled.

I'll admit I was incredibly upset to see Matt go, mainly because he had been the rebound after Sebastian, and I had formed an attachment to him. Even though I glanced at his Facebook every once in a while, I quickly put him out of the picture once I'd met Nate.

I'd messaged him on AIM some time ago to see how his summer semester had ended. We made small talk for a few minutes and saw nothing more of it. Last night, I saw him online again, and dropped a simple "Hi."

We made small talk again about his sisters, school and his roommate. We didn't ask about each other's dating escapades, and began shooting the breeze with dumb comments back and forth. Somewhere along the way, our conversation took a turn to the "dirty side." Since I'd had previous experience in dirty messaging with BEG, as well as phone sex conversations (sorry I never shared it; pictures were included as well,) I felt I was prepared to tease Matt and see how he'd respond. I expected him to shy away from it, but what he said completely took me by surprise.

Matt: We are like twinkies
Ren: How so? Maybe you, cause you have white stuff inside
Matt: Lol.
Ren: I don't know about me though.
Matt: Lol, you could. Hey-oooo.
Ren: Tempting.
Matt: I can give you some of my white filling and we really will be like twinkies!

I'm not going to share more.... only because it became pretty graphic afterwards. The conversation heated up so much, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. After roughly 30 minutes of "foreplay", Mark said that he wasn't joking and was serious about what he was saying; if I really wanted it, I could have it. I told him I was serious but that I wouldn't drive all the way out to his place tonight- I had work the next day. He said he was getting dressed and was going to come over to my place instead. I was skeptical about it all, and didn't want to fall for the joke; I was hoping he would actually call to prove me wrong, but he hadn't. Knowing he was still 45 minutes away, I decided to hop in the shower and quickly shave, just in case he wasn't bluffing.

About halfway through my lathering, I hear the dinstinctive ringtone. I pickup and hear the ambient noise when someone is in a car.

Oh shit. He's driving.

"I hope you know I wasn't joking" he tells me.

"You better not" I answered.

"Cause I am on my way over...." he said.

I was extremely excited. He was actually going to come, but best of all, he was already on the road!

I rushed to get ready, clean up the last of my apartment, and about 30 minutes later, Matt was knocking on my door.  My heart beating hard and fast, nerves pulsating, I took him into my room and kissed him. Things heated up quickly, and he roughly took off my bottoms and my shirt. He threw me on the bed and we continued kissing. We proceeded into the act and **CENSORED < CENSORED> CENSORED**

It was... exciting, and felt great. I felt no emotional attachment to Matt at the moment, but I was happy that I was having sex with someone I'd previously had a connection with (and also done the deed), and someone I was incredibly attracted to.  The kissing was amazing and continued throughout our "activity."  Once finished, Matt sat at the edge of the bed for a while, trying to catch his breath. Unsure of what he was feeling or if he was about to leave, I asked him if he was ok.

"Yeah, I'm just really tired" he replied.

He laid out naked on the bed, trying to cool off under the fan, breathing heavily. I put my clothes back on, and laid out next to him and gradually fell asleep. Somewhere around 2 am, I woke up again, and looked at him, fast asleep. I moved around to kiss him, and slowly awoke him. He started fondling himself, and unsure as to whether it was sexomnia (Sebastian) , and still with fresh memories of drunken sex (Nate), I just watched him to see what he would do next.

He could be just masturbating, right?

It wasn't either. He rolled over and went at it again. And for quite a while, even after he came. After we finished, we both fell back asleep, him snuggled up on me, while I lay straight on my back, staring at the ceiling until I drifted off to sleep again.

In the morning, I began getting ready for work, while he continued sleeping. Once I was ready, he woke up, and I gently caressed him. He snuggled up with me one last time until I told him I had to go to work.

I didn't hear from him for the rest of the day, but I didn't mind.  I wasn't insterested in having "the talk" about where this was going, or what it meant. I preferred to leave it as-is: a fun and exciting night.  Moreover, I didn't see Matt as the conversational type. He remained fairly quiet, and the only thing we shared in common was sex.

Later on that night however, I received a text from him saying "Hopefully you weren't too terribly tired today =P."  I minded my manners and thanked him for coming, to which he responded with "lol. No thank you =P"

Overall, this experience went by a lot smoother than I could have expected it. I'm glad it happened. I definitely had that extra bounce in my walk the next day.

And a big smile.

Looking past the "First Date Mistake"

Early Friday afternoon, my boss came up to my desk and said "I have two tickets to the Astros game tonight. Do you want them?" "Sure, yes!" I answered.  "Here, take them. Have fun. I want to see pictures on Monday."
 
As a good friend, I texted one of my girlfriends first to see if she wanted to go but said she couldn't. I had two other options: two guys I was currently talking to. One was Aaron, the other was Nate. I had befriended them both on Facebook in the hopes of finding out if they had more pictures that would help me determine if they were in fact as attractive as their profile pics.
 
I first accepted Aaron’s request and went to look at his pictures. I was very disappointed by what I found, or didn't find for that matter. Most of his pictures were 4 years old. Oh hell no. As we had talked earlier, I had asked him what kind of girl he was attracted to and he'd said someone who took care of herself physically saying he ran 3 miles every other day.
 
I really don't think you run cause the most recent picture showed a really chubby guy. Ugh. I hate guys who put "average" instead of "a few extra pounds". Man up and be honest!
 

Nate on the other hand appeared to be more physically fit and had a stare that really attracted me.
 
Aaron had already asked me out twice on too much of a short notice which I had turned down. Nate seemed like the perfect candidate so when my friend said no, I texted him if he was free that night to go to the game. He replied saying yes and we made plans to go for dinner before the game. I was a bit concerned that we might not be able to hit it off and that we'd be stuck with each other for 3 hours afterwards during the game.
 
Luckily we hit it off right away and had much to talk about. We arrived at the game and settled in to our seats right by the dugout and had a great time.
 

 
Even though I was attracted to Nate, I was concerned that he might not be attracted to me. This is what happens when you have low self esteem- you believe that you’re never good enough to be liked; Therefore I didn't want to get my hopes up for fear that it would backfire. When the game ended we remained in our seats to watch the fireworks display afterwards. He slowly put his arm around me and let me lay my head on his shoulder. The first step to mutual attraction [sighs.]
 
When the fireworks ended, Nate asked me if I wanted to go to the bar across the street. He got us drinks and as the alcohol slowly started taking over, the conversation became seemingly easier. We spent a few hours talking and soonafter challenged one another to darts; the loser would have to take a swig of beer. We were laughing, flirting with each other, and watching the other drunk people around us stumble to the ground. At one point, Nate said “Ok, the next game is for a kiss.”
 
I went along for it, not realizing that either way, we would end up kissing- that’s how drunk I was.  I lost, brought his face towards my lips and kissed him. We continued playing, getting a kiss after each game, and eventually went back out onto the porch so he could smoke a cigarette.

I'm sorry, what? "You smoke?" I asked. "Only when I drink" he said. Ew... gross.  He pulled out a fancy black box from his pocket and showed me what he smoked.

 
"See, look. It's an e-cigarette" he pointed out.
 
I admit I was curious and asked if I could try it. It felt like smoking hookah. The filter he was using was mentholated and wasn't as painful as taking a long drag from a regular cigarette. The air I exhaled turned out to be a water vapor instead of "second hand smoke." He only took about 3 drags from the cigarette during the night and put it away each time.
 
At one point, we ended up talking with a few other drunk people outside on the patio and can't quite remember how it lead to the discussion of dating but I remember him telling one of the older women there "Yeah, this is our first date."
 
"First date? really? Awww..... Honey look! It's their first date" she commented to her male partner.
 
I couldn't help but feel both happy and sad at the same time. Happy to hear him acknowledge our meeting as a date to strangers, but sad that this would be the only "first date" we'd experience. The excitement for each other would never be able to amount to that first night we spent together; I'd never be able to feel that confused, happy, giddy feeling in my stomach ever again as I did during our first date.


As the bar closed down, it was time to go back. We weren't ready to call it a night and wanted to stay together, but couldn't think of any place to go to just talk. The only options were to go to a 24-hour diner and get something to eat, or back to the other's place; I'd promised myself that as much as I wanted to be near him, it wouldn't be the right thing to do on the first date. I admit I wouldn't mind doing it, but I know it's not the greatest idea- we all know what happened when I rushed things with Matt, the marine right?
 
I had to go pick up my car at work, so we stayed in the parking lot for a while. Some time later, I actually dozed off or passed out, and woke up to us kissing, his hand caressing my breast, unbuttoning my shirt.
 
Wait, what? What's going on? I was completely out of it, and even though I noticed we were kissing, my ability to react wasn't all in place and I didn't respond until he was halfway through my buttons. I knew his hand was there, but my mind just reacted too late. Or maybe subconsciously, I wanted it as well.  I stopped him, fumbled slowly to get my buttons back on, let out a small sigh of frustration and got out of the truck. I walked back to my car without looking back and got in. A few minutes later he left.

On the way home, I received the following text from him:

“Ok, I guess I shouldn’t expect a reply but I thought we were messing around. I’m sorry if I crossed a line I didn’t know or else I wouldn’t have. I just thought we were both enjoying it. I’m really confused right now and I hope you’re ok. If you need something let me know.  I really did like you and I didn’t mean to cross that line.”

I thought about texting back when I got home but decided to call and chew him out instead.

“Why would you do that?” I questioned.
“I’m sorry, I just thought we were in the moment and that you felt the same way. I’m really sorry” he replied.
“I was asleep when you started doing that” I told him.
“Well, you were kissing me back so I didn’t think you were” he said
“I’m drunk, and I’m really disappointed in you Nate” I said.
“Oh man, I’m really sorry. The last thing I want you to think is that I took advantage of you. It’s just….. it’s been so long for me… I’m really really sorry” he admitted.

I could sense he was legitimately sorry and decided to give him one more chance. “I can admit that all the drinking we did tonight impaired us a lot and made us do things we probably wouldn’t have done sober. So tell you what, sleep on it. Think about what you’ve done, and if you want to talk to me again, you’ll call me tomorrow,” I told him bluntly.

“I don’t need to wait until tomorrow” he said.

I have my reasons for letting this slide. For one, a lot worse happened with my last boyfriend Sebastian, on our first date last year. I actually cried as I drove back home. I was blindsided and let things progress to benefit him solely. I was very ashamed of what had happened. Sebastian apologized profusely, and the very next day brought me roses and took me to dinner. Yep, that’s the way to do it!

With Nate, I didn’t let things go that far, and I know that alcohol played a big role in me letting loose and dropping my guard substantially. But I also walked away quietly and made him ashamed of what he’d done.  In a way, I knew we would end up making out if I stayed longer in his truck- however, the whole unbuttoning-the-shirt thing threw me off guard completely. I wasn’t expecting that at all.  I’m not going to lie and say it felt horrible. It felt good and it was pleasant, but I knew this shouldn’t be happening on a first date, so I put a stop to it. I’m pretty sure that if I would have told him “No” in the moment, he would have stopped also.

The next day, around 2 o’clock, Nate called me and we talked for about an hour before he went to sleep (he works graveyard shift.)  I didn’t feel like bringing up the incident, and ultimately swept it under the rug.  I invited him over for breakfast at my apartment on Sunday morning and we spent a couple of hours talking and watching TV. We didn’t make any other plans past the week, and due to our schedules, haven’t talked on the phone, but we’ve been able to text a few times and are planning to meet up again on Friday night.

If I let it, I know sex can happen, but after what happened with Matt, I’m not willing to put myself into that position. I know it’s better to wait and get to know each other, so that when the act does happen, there’s actually feelings involved and better chances that it may last longer than just a couple of weeks.

Or maybe I’m just a modern girl trying to exercise power and control. Yeah, we’ll see how that goes….

I think my safeguard is to just not shave prior to Friday.
Any ideas on how to withhold sex?

When dating backfires

I met up with Matt at Ikea after work on Tuesday and managed to spend about 2.5 hours just walking around, flirting.  I admit it wasn't awkward and we behaved rather well, like a couple in the honeymoon phase.

I invited him back to my house, and went into the bathroom to freshen up. Soon after, I join him in the living room and we begin watching TV.  Some time later, things progress and heat up. And those 5 little words creep up: "Do you have a condom" I ask. "Yeah" he answers.

Finally!! He's up. Oh.... way up this time. I guess he got some fuel earlier today.

We move things into the bedroom- my parent's bedroom to be precise, and manage to take care of business, much more efficiently this time.

Oh wow, this time was much better than the last.

Once finished, Matt disposes of the evidence in the kitchen trashcan and quickly heads into the living room to get dressed.

Hmmm, mmmmh, okay. I guess he's in a hurry to go somewhere.

We lie back on the couch and continue watching TV for a good hour or so, making a few jokes every now and then. Soon enough, things become warm again and I "somehow" get down to my skivvies.

"Do you have another condom?" I ask him.

He doesn't respond.

"You know we can't then" I tell him.

He continues taking off his pants, fumbling to get them off of his legs.

"So do you?" I ask him again.

From underneath, he produces a second wrapper as I hear the hallelujah chorus in my head.

Ca-ching! Round #2.

We begin on the couch until he tells me to go into the bedroom. I climb off, underestimating my own equilibrium and nearly fall to the ground.

"Oh my god, my legs are so weak" I say laughing, "I can't walk!"

My legs managed to cramp up and fall asleep, to the point where I stumbled into the bedroom. Once there, Mark puts me on the bed and without skipping a beat, gets down to business.  Everything is great when all of a sudden he grabs me by the hair and pulls it down into my back. Hard.

Ooh, kinky. 

I try to straighten out and bring my neck forwards, but he continues tugging at my long hair.

Ow!! WTF?? Let go of my hair!

Suddenly, I can't move my head. He's got my hair in a fist grabbed so tightly that the more I struggle, the harder he pulls.

"You like that?" he asks

Huh, I guess he's one of those hair-pulling guys.

"Mmh hmm" I manage to muster, hoping that he'll release my head from his fist of fury.

He continues working when I tell him to go faster as I'm close to completion. He finally comes and lays on me for a while until he rolls off the bed and takes off the condom.

We go back into the living room and continue watching TV for a while until a few hours later when he has to leave home. I get attached and don't want to see him go as I walk him over to the door.

The next day at work, he texts me a couple of times and we make small conversation. I call him later that evening to see if he's available to hang out the next evening considering he doesn't work or have school. "I'm not sure. Depends on how I'm feeling."

What??

"Well, nevermind then"  I tell him.

"Are you offended?" he asks.

"Well, you either know it or you don't [if you want to hang out] None of this 'We'll see' [crap]" I answer viciously.

"Well, it's just that it's been a while since I've had some time off to myself. I've been busy with school and work and I want a breather" he says.

I didn't know going out with me was such hard work. If it's that big a deal for you to drive to my side of town, I'm open to going to yours. It hurts that I'm being rejected this way.

The following day, I ask him if he can hang out Friday, and we go through the same dance, except this time he says "I work tomorrow."

"I thought you said you only worked morning and early afternoons" I mentioned.

"I do, but sometimes I get off at 5pm" he answers.

That's it. I've had it. I can take a hint. So I get the courage and say what's on my mind. "Ok, I don't want to get hurt. I like you, but I really don't know if you like me. I don't want to get strung around because I've done it before and I didn't like it" I tell him.

He remains quiet on the line and begins again "It's not that I don't want to hang out with you. But my school is my top priority, you know what I mean? I went into the military to be able to get school paid for, so I don't want to fall behind and mess with this opportunity. I took these courses over the summer, but I didn't think I was going to have such a hard time with them. On the other hand, I think we moved way too fast the last couple of days" he said, referring to sex.

"I agree, but it's a little too late now to slow down. What happened already happened. You can't change it" I told him.

"I know it's partially my fault. I never should have let things progress the way they did. That was just way too soon" he said.

He had mentioned that his previous two girlfriends and he had waited at minimum a couple of months before engaging in a sexual relationship. We met on a Tuesday and had sex on that Friday. And I have to be a big girl and realize that I made a mistake.

"Well, you've already turned me down twice, so I'm not going to ask you again when we can hang out" I told him.

"What do you mean? I haven't turned you down twice" he said.

"Yes, you said you wouldn't be able to hang out yesterday, and now tomorrow too" I explained.

"But I didn't say we couldn't hang out on Friday. I can come to your side of town" he said.

We made plans to meet up on Friday, but we had such bad rain that day, that I told him it would be best if he didn't drive out. There was a lot of flooding and I didn't want him to risk being stranded at midnight, considering I had to leave to pick up my mom at the airport later that night.

I talked to my friend Roger, who I had been "romantically involved" with a few years ago and he asked me about my dating situation.  I told him the truth and he mentioned that I was making a faux-pas and not making them wait long enough. "We dated for months and you never gave it up for me. What happened?" he asked.

"I'm sexually frustrated and my backup isn't available. I realize now that I made a mistake and I will learn from it." I told him.

Honestly, it never occurred to me that sleeping with someone too soon would have its consequences. I haven't had that many sexual partners, and it didn't happen with Sebastian when we slept together one week after we'd met, but I guess the timing was just right. We'd talked so much on the phone and went out a few times during that week leading up to it. But now I know that with Matt, things weren't as easy.  We aren't a couple and we're not exclusive in a sense.

I noticed on POF that he was still regularly logging into his account and asked him if he was dating around. "No, I don't have the time. You're the only person I'm talking to on a regular basis. I get messages, but I don't reply to them" he told me.

Lately, we haven't talked on the phone as much, and when we do, we only talk for a while until one of us has to call the other one back. He'll text sometimes, but it just feels empty.

I screwed up, and I need to take this as a serious lesson. I never would have known how to deal with it if it hadn't happened to me, so in a sense, I take this experience as a "positive" but ugly occurrence.

I know what to do now.

"Just get a bigger toy" Roger recommended.

That little pill is expensive

I don't know where to begin.

Last Friday, Matt, the former marine, came over to my house to hang out. I had previously talked to BEG about my plans for the evening to which I had specifically mentioned I would not be having sex that night because I was still on my "monthly statement."

"You're throwing off the wrong signs by having him come over but not expecting sex then!" he told me.

"You think?" I asked him.

"Well, what do you think? You ask him to come over late at night? Just don't have sex with him so soon. Not on the first date at least" he told me.

"Well, this is actually our second meeting. We went to dinner earlier this week. Plus, I don't think it'll happen" I reassured him.

Matt came over that evening and we hung out on the couch, me on one end, he at the other, as I channel surfed for a while before stopping on the movie "Seven." I got up to use the restroom and when I sat back down, he grabbed my legs and put them on his lap which caused me to lay down into the couch. When I got up the second time, he quickly moved right behind me as I landed on the couch, causing me to sit right on his crotch.

Smooth move......

It all happened so fast that we both ended up laying down on the couch to watch the movie. A while later, he leaned in to kiss me.

A perfect kiss.

We made out for a while, and I eventually dozzed off a couple of times during the movie. Around 2am I asked him "Are you staying over?"

"Uh, yeah" he answered casually.

"Oh wow, just like that?" I added. "Well, it's either here or I can sleep in my car" he joked.

So we went into the bedroom and continued making out and well, one thing led to another and because I wasn't bleeding anymore we ***CENSORED***CENSORED***CENSORED***

I was a bit disappointed, but it was nothing compared to the awkward moments I felt when he drifted off to sleep and left me in silence. That's all he did. Slept, woke up, and slept some more. I was annoyed, so I picked up my ipod and started messaging BEG.

Ren: He's sleeping right next to me
BEG: How did it go?
Ren: Awkward. We made it out in the living room for a long time and then came into the bedroom around 3 am to go to sleep
BEG: Why was it awkward?
Ren: Well one kiss led to a humping, and he pulled my underwear off and went in. After a bit, he put on the condom, but when he had it on, he started losing his erection. He got some of it back, but it slowly started going down. He said he was hot and very thirsty.
BEG: Weird. What is it with these guys?
Ren: So I was almost there when he just slowed down and stopped.  I asked him if he'd be up again, and he said maybe in a while. So I fell asleep and somehow woke up again and we tried again. It went by roughly the same- lost the erection, got it back etc. etc... Then when I'm about to come, he pulls out and comes all over my stomach.  I was kinda pissed. And now he's been sleeping the entire time. It was definitely too soon, and now feels weird.
BEG: I guess there is always next time
Ren: It just feels really quiet now. We're not really talking lol. I guess this is what they mean by the "morning after."
BEG: Yup, if you were at his place you would of had to do the walk of shame. LOL
Ren: He asked me later if I was on the pill and I told him no, but I'd gotten my period earlier this week. I think I might have scared him cause he just said "Oh ok" LOL. Worst dilemna, I go buy Plan B.
BEG: Yeah, that's why you don't mess around on first night. I warned you. LOL If you take Plan B, don't tell him you took it. It will either scare him off if he just wanted to get laid, or he will stick around if he likes you. It's up to you.

 A few hours later, Matt left to go to work on his side of town and I resumed the conversation with BEG:

Ren: Well, he just left. Can't help but feel like he was ditching me. He said he'd call me later. Then, before leaving, I told him I wanted to stay with him, but wasn't sure he wanted to stay with me. He said "I'd like you to come to my side of town sometime." I asked when and he said that if he didn't get off so late, he'd say tonight.  Oh and PS: tried to do it again a third time this morning and nothing. WTF??? Is it me?? Then he tells me he's starving and that's why he can't do it.
BEG: I'm gonna hook you up with my coworker ok?
Ren: Oh, let me finish- so before he leaves, he says "well don't get pregnant." So I ask him if he's worried and he says a little bit.  So I tell him I'll go get Plan B and he asks if I want the money for it and I tell him no. Then he calls me from the road and the topic comes up again and he says he'll pay half, so I'm like OK.

I think about it now and I remember there was a lot of hugging and cuddling on his part, but I was feeling disconnected because we weren't talking. And considering the events of the previous nights were barely satisfactory, I felt there wasn't much I could praise or brag about either.  Since then, Mark has called back throughout the weekend and we've continued talking, so I'm tempted to say I didn't scare him off completely.

I talked to one of my girlfriends to fill her in on what had happened and told her we were actually meeting up tonight to hang out at Ikea because I needed to do some furniture shopping and he'd offered to come with.

"Well that's pretty funny. You guys are meeting up on a date so he can give you his half for the Plan B pill!" she joked.

"No shit, that tiny pill is expensive!" I answered back.

The Marine

I managed to go on dates with 3 different guys in 2 weeks: 2 first dates, and 3 awkward dates that led to  no sex (see Trevor.) By the third week, I was beginning to lose my temper.

How can this be? Am I being too picky? Does the silence scare them?

Shortly after Sebastian broke up with me, I updated my POF profile and made it private. I browsed profiles and marked a few favorites and made a note back on my profile that said I wasn't ready to date yet, but would consider it soon in the future.

2 months later, finals had passed, and I was ready to begin dating again. And that's when I messaged Matt*. We talked for over a month every once in a while through AIM. I wasn't feeling much of a connection due to the vibe I was getting from him: He said the most random stuff through chat, and I found him to be childish. He would make jokes that didn't make sense and I soon realized we didn't have much in common.  And because of that, I began dating others to pass the time.  Matt hadn't made the actual effort to ask me out, and we had yet to speak on the phone (even though he had offered his number some time back, but I had declined.)

When dater #3 didn't work out, I decided to stop looking and give myself a break.  I wasn't putting too much effort in these dates, and I wasn't expressing enough interest in the guys.  Some of them did bore me at times, and I'm pretty sure I bored them too. There wasn't a significant click/spark between us to make me think "Wow, he could be the one."

The day following my failed attempt at dater #3, I began messaging Matt a lot more often.  He's a former marine who separated last year from the service and started going to school earlier this year for systems networking.  He gets benefits from The US Department of Veterans Affairs, and is on the G.I. Bill, so as long as he's in school, he gets a monthly stipend for housing etc.  He also works weekends at a restaurant as a waiter to make extra cash and keep himself busy.

Online, Matt would keep me company during the evenings while I did my homework.  Soon after, I asked for his number again and called him on Friday evening to chat for a while. The following day, we talked for a few hours before he went into work, and later called me after he got off near 1:30 am. We talked a lot more and I finally began developing an attraction for him.  It turned out that his weird and childish comments were actually his way of being sarcastic- which didn't translate quite well through AIM. We soon decided to meet up and went out for our first date this past Tuesday night.

He was an hour late due to the horrible traffic during rush hour and the rain.  I admit that I was feeling rather pessimistic about the whole thing and the thought that I might be stood up crossed my mind as well.  He came to pick me up and drove us to Olive Garden to have dinner.

Olive Garden..... that's where I had my first dinner dates with both Sebastian and BEG. Is this becoming a routine?

The restaurant was very loud and I felt like everyone around us could hear our conversation. After we were finished I nonchalantly mentioned Dave & Buster's which happened to be just around the corner. "Yeah! Let's go" he said. I thought he was joking and asked if he was kidding to which he said "No, I'm serious, I want to go. Let's go."

We spent about an hour there and soon after walked over to the water fountain (where Spiderman Ricky and I also went on our first date) to sit on the benches and just talked. And then something weird happened. We were silent for a few moments, and neither one of us found it awkward.

[Sighs]

Finally, someone who doesn't mind the silence.

I asked him what his plans for the weekend were and he mentioned that other than working at the restaurant, he didn't have any. "I'm supposed to work on Saturday, but I'm thinking of getting someone to cover my shift. Why? What are you doing?" he asked. I told him I was thinking of getting together with my girlfriends because I had the house to myself, but hadn't made any concrete plans.

Around 1:30 am, I told him it was time to go considering I still had to go back to my apartment to get clothes and drive to my mom's to spend the night (she's out in California for the next week, and I'm pet sitting.) Once at my apartment complex, he walks me up to my door and I thank him for a fun night and tell him "Just keep in mind what I told you about calling me. If you don't call the next day, I can take a hint."

I had previously told him that I didn't like the stupid 3-day waiting period that guys were convinced they needed to follow. If you like me, call me. If you don't call/text me the next day, no big deal, and I move on. I hate getting texts one week later. Sorry, but you're long off my list by then!

He laughed as he began climbing down the stairs and said "Ok, I'll call you tomorrow."

I began getting my bag ready and headed out the door when he calls me. "I just want to make sure you get home alright; you looked pretty sleepy" he said. "Oh thanks. Did you want to stay on the phone until I get home?" I asked him. "Yeah sure!" he answered.

Late last night, while talking on the phone, he asked me "So, did I wait long enough to call you back?" I laughed. "Actually, you surprised me. I really didn't expect you to call me 10 minutes later!"

We're hanging out again tonight after work. I can't wait.

I'm ready for this!