I managed to go on dates with 3 different guys in 2 weeks: 2 first dates, and 3 awkward dates that led to no sex (see Trevor.) By the third week, I was beginning to lose my temper.
How can this be? Am I being too picky? Does the silence scare them?
Shortly after Sebastian broke up with me, I updated my POF profile and made it private. I browsed profiles and marked a few favorites and made a note back on my profile that said I wasn't ready to date yet, but would consider it soon in the future.
2 months later, finals had passed, and I was ready to begin dating again. And that's when I messaged Matt*. We talked for over a month every once in a while through AIM. I wasn't feeling much of a connection due to the vibe I was getting from him: He said the most random stuff through chat, and I found him to be childish. He would make jokes that didn't make sense and I soon realized we didn't have much in common. And because of that, I began dating others to pass the time. Matt hadn't made the actual effort to ask me out, and we had yet to speak on the phone (even though he had offered his number some time back, but I had declined.)
When dater #3 didn't work out, I decided to stop looking and give myself a break. I wasn't putting too much effort in these dates, and I wasn't expressing enough interest in the guys. Some of them did bore me at times, and I'm pretty sure I bored them too. There wasn't a significant click/spark between us to make me think "Wow, he could be the one."
The day following my failed attempt at dater #3, I began messaging Matt a lot more often. He's a former marine who separated last year from the service and started going to school earlier this year for systems networking. He gets benefits from The US Department of Veterans Affairs, and is on the G.I. Bill, so as long as he's in school, he gets a monthly stipend for housing etc. He also works weekends at a restaurant as a waiter to make extra cash and keep himself busy.
Online, Matt would keep me company during the evenings while I did my homework. Soon after, I asked for his number again and called him on Friday evening to chat for a while. The following day, we talked for a few hours before he went into work, and later called me after he got off near 1:30 am. We talked a lot more and I finally began developing an attraction for him. It turned out that his weird and childish comments were actually his way of being sarcastic- which didn't translate quite well through AIM. We soon decided to meet up and went out for our first date this past Tuesday night.
He was an hour late due to the horrible traffic during rush hour and the rain. I admit that I was feeling rather pessimistic about the whole thing and the thought that I might be stood up crossed my mind as well. He came to pick me up and drove us to Olive Garden to have dinner.
Olive Garden..... that's where I had my first dinner dates with both Sebastian and BEG. Is this becoming a routine?
The restaurant was very loud and I felt like everyone around us could hear our conversation. After we were finished I nonchalantly mentioned Dave & Buster's which happened to be just around the corner. "Yeah! Let's go" he said. I thought he was joking and asked if he was kidding to which he said "No, I'm serious, I want to go. Let's go."
We spent about an hour there and soon after walked over to the water fountain (where Spiderman Ricky and I also went on our first date) to sit on the benches and just talked. And then something weird happened. We were silent for a few moments, and neither one of us found it awkward.
Finally, someone who doesn't mind the silence.
I asked him what his plans for the weekend were and he mentioned that other than working at the restaurant, he didn't have any. "I'm supposed to work on Saturday, but I'm thinking of getting someone to cover my shift. Why? What are you doing?" he asked. I told him I was thinking of getting together with my girlfriends because I had the house to myself, but hadn't made any concrete plans.
Around 1:30 am, I told him it was time to go considering I still had to go back to my apartment to get clothes and drive to my mom's to spend the night (she's out in California for the next week, and I'm pet sitting.) Once at my apartment complex, he walks me up to my door and I thank him for a fun night and tell him "Just keep in mind what I told you about calling me. If you don't call the next day, I can take a hint."
I had previously told him that I didn't like the stupid 3-day waiting period that guys were convinced they needed to follow. If you like me, call me. If you don't call/text me the next day, no big deal, and I move on. I hate getting texts one week later. Sorry, but you're long off my list by then!
He laughed as he began climbing down the stairs and said "Ok, I'll call you tomorrow."
I began getting my bag ready and headed out the door when he calls me. "I just want to make sure you get home alright; you looked pretty sleepy" he said. "Oh thanks. Did you want to stay on the phone until I get home?" I asked him. "Yeah sure!" he answered.
Late last night, while talking on the phone, he asked me "So, did I wait long enough to call you back?" I laughed. "Actually, you surprised me. I really didn't expect you to call me 10 minutes later!"
We're hanging out again tonight after work. I can't wait.
I'm ready for this!