Monday, April 4, 2011

Where's the condom?

[continued from Previous Post]

I finally walked in to my apartment around 9:30pm on Monday night, finally able to relax and breathe a sigh of tranquility. I got to my phone and messaged Matt, the ex-Marine, which I'd previously had a fling with during the summer, and an out-of-the blue cyber session turned real. We'd been talking through Facebook and texting casually over the last couple of weeks, making jokes and trying to keep conversation going, being discreetly flirtatious. Albeit forced, but in the least, entertained when nothing else was going on.

Ren: Come change my clocks. I'm too short
Matt: Ok. I'll be over soon.
Ren: :p
Matt: I'll leave in like 30 min, I'll come change your clocks.
Ren: I'm so exhausted  [as I was getting laundry started]
Matt: :(
Ren: Wait. Are you serious?
Matt: lol. I was!
Ren: Oh.
Ren: Um. Ok.
Matt: Lol. You are exhausted and I'm sure you work in the morning though.
Ren: Dammit stop it!
Matt: What?
Ren: I'm sure I can find some energy somewhere. Plus, if you don't change those clocks, I'll be late to work.
Matt: lol. What time you have to be up for work?
Ren: So yeah I'm serious. 7 at the latest. I'm taking a shower right now, so that knocks out
some time for tomorrow.

10 minutes later

Ren: Are you coming.....?
Matt: Yes. I gotta take a shower though.... lol
Ren: Ok! Then I'll see you here soon.
Matt: You care if I just bum out....
Ren: What does that mean?
Matt: Just like pj's I
Ren: Oh. Yeah, it'll be two of us in that case. Well.... Clothing IS optional
Matt: Lol.
Ren: When you leaving?
Matt: I just left

30 minutes later

Matt: I'm on Wesheimer by the Galleria.

Damnit- that's still a good 15-20 minutes out!

Ren: Damn I really need to teach you how to get here.

15 minutes later

Matt: The gate open?
Ren: Should be yeah. Where are you?

Knock, knock, knock

Excited, I walked to my door, and greeted Matt. We both say hi, while I returned to my room to continue unpacking my suitcase.  Matt came into my room, and got under the covers saying he was cold. He bundled up under my blanket and I started telling him of my trip to St. Louis. I quickly realized that I also needed to pack up another suitcase to go stay at my friend's house the next few days to take care of her dog. "Aw crap. I just unpacked, and now I need to pack again. Forget it. I'll come back and do it tomorrow night. I'm too tired" I exclaimed as he laughed. I turned the lights off and got into bed with Matt, and we continued talking and making jokes. He cuddled with me tightly as I tried to get into a comfortable position on his chest, which wasn't working the way I wanted it to. I hovered over his lips, restraining myself to see which one of the two would make the first move.

He did.

We began kissing and getting comfortable and undressed in the bed, where... well, you can guess what happened. Or maybe not.

I sensed that he was ready and up at full mast, prompting me to say "Condom!" He looked at me and said "I don't have one." "Don't worry, I have one" and reached into my closet to frantically pull out a  few.

Hey, one session ain't gonna cut it mister.

As soon as I come back to bed, my dreaded failure. He's at half mast.

Son of a b...... motherf....... what the hel.....?


Why is it this happening again?? Oh God, I haven't had good sex in a while, and you're telling me that my favorite person can't perform with it? Why?

Matt tried getting the job done, but it really wasn't working.
"What's wrong?" I asked as he thrust.
"It's the condom. I can't feel anything" I honestly felt the need to say "Well you could before. So why the change damnit?" Have these guys become spoiled? I was actually expecting Matt to remain erect; it hadn't "really" been a problem in our previous encounters, so what changed? Sex with a flaccid penis isn't fun. Neither one of us can feel anything, and it feels like "sex" with Trevor last year (poor guy...)

And not much really happened. Matt didn't orgasm, though I did (miraculously; I have no idea how.) He took the condom off, got up to the other side of the bed, and went back to cuddling, drifting off to half-sleep. When I turned my butt to his crotch, Matt saw this as an invitation and had easy access as everything was right in front of him. He attempted a few more times, and although it felt good, I was extremely nervous this time around.  
I'm fertile right now. Today is not the day to try the pull-out method!

I had to put a stop to it and tell him not to do it. It wasn't safe. Matt and I went back to sleep, though I continued waking up throughout the night. It's happened before when he's there. The next morning, I got up at 7 to get ready for work while he remained in bed. He walked me out to my car and bid each other good day. When I came back home that night, I continued cleaning up and started looking for the used condom around the night table, thinking he had dropped it on the floor. I checked the trashcans, the boxes, under the covers. Nothing.

Where the hell is that condom??

Matt hadn't used the bathroom, so I knew he hadn't flushed it down the toilet. I started worrying, thinking if the next person came to my bedroom would come upon it. Oh the embarrassment. I continued looking for it but nothing. I checked the pillow cases, behind the bed, the curtain, even the shoe box next to the bed. Nothing.

I'm confused.

I texted Shannon "I lost a condom in my room last night."
"Hahhaah, how did you do that?" she responded.
I replied "I don't know where it's at. I can't find it. He took it off and I don't know..... Man, if this is a prank, I have to say 'well played.'"

1 comment:

  1. oh man why does every guy say he can't feel anything when they where a condom?