Phillip had called me asking me if I had any plans for Friday night. I really didn't, and he suggested we meet up for drinks about halfway in between our houses. I left around 9-ish or so, and met him shortly after at a loud bar off of highway 290. We embraced each other in a long and hard hug when we greeted, and made our way in to a table out on the patio.
I hadn't seen Phillip for a couple of months now; the last time we'd hung out, we'd ended up having sex after quite a few drinks, and I just realized now that I never wrote about it. I'll admit it was fun, but he definitely knew how to get under my skin and make me crave for the sex even though he was.... unfortunately, not well endowed. My friend Shannon and I call him "tiny penis"- maybe it would be easier to refer to him as that?
OK... so he's not tiny, he's just... the smallest I've come across, and he knows this. He still does the job very well, but damnit- I'm telling the story here. SO sush.
Anyway, that night, I was prepared to not suggest we have sex. It's not that I wasn't in the mood (although at the time I wasn't) but I wanted to try to hold out so that he'd be the one to ask me for it. We talked for a couple of hours, had a pretty good time, talking about what we'd been up to recently.
He admitted that he didn't like us having sex as a result of being
drunk, and went on to open up about how unhappy he still was after the breakup from his girlfriend back in September. He couldn't get over it, and was still harboring strong feelings for her. He kept telling me that sex just seemed empty to him, and even though he enjoyed himself in the moment, he didn't like the way he felt afterward.
Slowly approaching midnight and feeling buzzed myself, I heard the following words escape my mouth a little too late "I'm feeling pretty antsy right now. Want to go back to my place?"
Fuck. What the hell did I just say?
As soon as Phillip put down his drink on the table and said "Let's go," I was game. Yep, my libido wakes up rather quickly.
We walked out to our cars and tried to agree on which way to head home, since I was a bit unfamiliar. It was a string of You follow me? Or do you know how to get there? I can't take the tollway. Ok, I'll take the feeder. Don't drive too fast. Oh I need to stop by for cigarettes. Oh forget it, I have some at my place. You have cigarettes at your place? Why? Don't lie to me!
The time it took me to punch in the directions back on my iphone, Phillip called me saying "Hey, I'm just gonna go home. It's after midnight. By the time we get to your place it'll be 1. We won't be done until after 2, and I have work at 8 the next morning."
Mind you- I was pissed.
"Um, ok. Whatever." I angrily shot back.
"Are you mad? We'll go out tomorrow, and I don't have work on Sunday" he counter-offered.
"Whatever" I said again.
"Please don't be mad. It's just that it's so late" he pleaded.
"Ok, whatever" I repeated.
It's one thing to tease me about sex, but entirely another when you offer it, and take it away right from under my nose.
I grumpily drove home and got into bed alone.
Fuck you fuck you fuckyou and your tiny penis!
The next day, Phillip texts me during his shift.
Phillip: Wanna have sober sex?
Ren: Why?
Phillip: Why not?
Ren: Cause even you don't have sober sex.
Phillip: Well I'm offering.
Ren: Why?
Phillip: Nevermind.
I was still pissed, and didn't want to have sex. I asked him about our plans for later that night and he said he'd call me later during the day. I went out with my family to a horse show that day and didn't hear from him. As I was going back to pick up my car, Phillip calls me and I ask him again, "You need to let me know, cause if we don't hang out, I'm going to my mom's cause I'm really close by."
"Hold on, I'm really tired. I worked 13 hours today. Just give me like 10 minutes" he said.
"No, I need to know now. Cause if we go out, then I need to drive back to my place and get ready. If we're not going out, you need to tell me so I can go spend time with my sisters" I pressed.
"I'll call you back in 10 minutes. Hold on" he reassured me.
Assuming he'd call back, I decided to forgo my sisters, and head back to my apartment. 30 minutes later, still no sign. I was started to get frustrated simply because I had passed up on my sisters for a guy!
He never called that night, or the next day.
I went ahead and unfriended him from my Facebook and placed his contact on my phone as "Unknown Caller" so that if he called, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between him and an unknown number. (I do that to people I no longer want to talk to...)
Later that evening, I hear my phone ring with the name "Unknown Caller" featured on the screen.
Crap.
Then I remembered I had filed Wes under that name as well, [the verbal abuser, also sometimes referred to as "Minnesota guy," since he's living there now.]
Crap Crap.
I texted Shannon and said "Unknown Caller! Unknown Caller!!!"
Ren: Who could it be...? Tiny Penis.....or.....Minnesota guy.....?
Shannon: lmfao
I let it ring.
Ren: Oh shit. It was Minnesota guy. I was betting it was Tiny Penis.
Shannon: Lol u answered?
Ren: Lol. He texted "Doing ok?" and I asked "Were you the one that just called?" lol. "Yes." "Yes, I'm fine. Watching TV. Getting ready for work tomorrow." "Ok. I won't bother you." "No Prob." "Bye."
Shannon: Lol! He's crazy.
Ren: .... And it was done.. Again. lol.
A few days later I relapsed again and texted Wes. I asked him why he'd texted me, and if it had been because he was drinking and lonely, to which he said "No, I was just thinking about you."
I begged him to not write to me anymore, especially if we couldn't be friends. "If we can't be friends, then we don't need to talk" I wrote him. "Just assume I'm doing fine. I'll be ok."
That was a week ago. I'm hoping that's the end of it. In the meantime, there's writing, work, and OkCupid.
That's right. I have logged back on to OkCupid with a new profile to combat stress and meet new conversationalists like myself.
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