Wes and I got into an intense makeout session that worked its way into my bedroom. There was no element of surprise on my behalf. I knew exactly what was going to happen as soon as I suggested we go out for drinks just a block from my apartment.
I go into my closet to reach for a couple of condoms and hand it to him. Initially, he didn't want to wear one, so he grabs it and says "Okay, you want me to wear one, fine." He puts it on and his penis becomes limp immediately, and I'm like Dude WTF? So I help him out, and he starts thrusting. We start having messy sex, where the movements are out of whack and not entirely exciting.
In the back of my head, I'm thinking "Man, it better only suck cause he's had too much to drink, cause his moves are completely out of sync right now." With much effort, I manage to orgasm, I don't know, I may have faked, and he climbs off and lays on the bed. He asks for a blow job, to which I answer "Ok, but go wash up first." I momentarily fall asleep as he takes a shower, and as he comes out, I mention "You didn't come."
"It's a good thing I didn't" he answers.
"Why do you say that?" I ask him.
"Cause I took the condom off" he replies.
My eyes nearly bulge out of my head.
"What???" I nearly scream out. "Why the hell did you do that for?? I'm ovulating right now. You picked the worst possible time to use the pull out method. And moreover, I didn't give you permission to take off the condom" I chastise him.
At this point, I just want him to GTFO and never look back. I'm pissed and irritated that he would choose to take the condom off in the first place.
Head down, he begins dressing back up, not saying a word and goes out the front door. Seconds later, I realize I need to go unlock the gate to let him out in the first place, so he comes back up the stairs and says "You do realize you need to let me out right?"
Nice way to kick someone out, yet still have to walk them to the door. Fail.
I angrily stomp down the stairs and open the gate to let him go. We both say goodbye, and I rush back up to my apartment, get into bed and try to fall back asleep.
A few hours later I wake up and check my phone, and see an incoherent text from him:
Wes: Oh.... btw I didn't pull our off it came off on its own and j didn't notice..... but thanks for kicking me out..... I'm going back tomn... you were the real reason I came down here.... you hate me so wtf ever.... I'll never come back.
Looks like predictive texting couldn't help him on this one.
I check the floor, the trashcans and I don't see the condom. I look around the room and there's clothes everywhere, including his undershirt and his t-shirt on the floor. WTF did he leave with last night???
I text him back and say "I need to know- did you throw the condom away or is it inside me still?"
At this point, I have a bunch of thoughts going through my head. I don't feel anything weird inside me, but I somehow manage to smell a condom. Or at least I think I do. So I check myself. I check for a while, but I don't feel anything in me. Yet, I'm still convinced that I have a lost condom inside of me so I start digging as deep as I can (which is hard considering the angle...)
I do my kegel exercise and push as hard as I can and I finally feel something-
the ring to the condom.
I'm like... Ooooh F&%$........ How the F&#@ am I going to get it out??
I swear to God I started going through names of people in my head that I could trust to give me a hand. Literally. My friend Slut Monster was the only one I could think of. If I don't get this condom out today, I have to call her tomorrow.
I keep pushing, and digging deeper. I just need to grab it with both fingers so I can tweeze it out. I need to pull this condom out before I see Joshua. There is no way in hell I could explain a lost condom inside me if he finds it.
I finally glide it out just a tiny bit- enough to pinch it and grab it. I'm laying there on the bathroom floor, one leg up against the wall, the other against the counter, with my fingers inside my vagina, while I muster enough strength to push out and pull out- Is this what birth will look like? - until finally, I slowly pull it out and it comes out in one piece.
My vagina has become a flytrap.
Showing posts with label first meeting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label first meeting. Show all posts
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Jet Lounge Douche
After the disappointing date with The Uncle, I went back to OkCupid to search for someone else to hang out with. A guy about five years older than me, with interesting pictures messaged me about my musical tastes. We talked for a few days before he offered his number and he asked me out. Since I wasn't mentally in the mood to go out on a date, I told him I was only on OkC to make new friends. He agreed too (shocker) and said we didn't have to go on a date. Since he was a band promoter, he mentioned that he'd be booking some bands for a Saturday show and would be managing the door. He told me he could get me in for free, and when I invited one of my girlfriends to come with, I asked him if he'd be able to get her in too. "Ok, I think I can sneak her in, but tell her she owes me a beer"
Um... ok.... That's nice of you....
My friend took forever to get ready and we showed up downtown near midnight. I saw the guy at the door, and he looked..... doable- after about 3 drinks on my behalf. The lounge was alright. It was kind of dead.
My friend hated the lounge because it wasnt at all her scene. A while later he came over to where we were at the bar and hung out for a while, but he always had to excuse himself cause he had to keep an eye on audio equipment. At one point I told him "So I guess I owe you a beer for letting my friend in" and he said ok and I ordered us 2 beers. The bartender gave him his for free and I paid for mine, then he turned around to say "oh mine's free. I guess you still owe me beer! Ha ha "
Yeah. Ha. Fucking ha.
When my friend found out she said "He didn't even offer to pay for yours? Yeah, drop him. A girl shouldn't buy a guy his drink"
She kept asking me the entire night if I liked the guy, what I thought of him, did I see potential and I just had to say "not really." The guy isn't ugly, just, didn't make me go "wow" in my head when I saw him. There wasn't sexual chemistry for me, and I actually saw him as a possible friend friend. He was really nice but we were both boring together. So even then I didn't see us having a blast as friends if we hung out. He asked me what I was doing that weekend, and since I was spending it with my family, he asked if I wanted to come back next Friday and hang out. I told him I'd see what I had planned for then.
No back seat for this guy- I think he's one of those really awkward, don't-know-how-to-flirt types of guys. Like, smiling was the only thing he was doing. He barely hugged me and didn't get into any petting at all. Like.... incredibly shy or something. Or he's just completely clueless about girls.
My friend kept complaining to go and around 1:15 or so asked if we could leave to go to Wonderbar instead. The guy was busy so I had to wait until he came back outside so we could say bye and left around 1:40. I took a wrong turn (I hate downtown) and she just said to go home.
Seven days later, he texted me asking if I wanted to go to Fitzgerald (another music venue) for a show. SEVEN days later.
Well, I guess he took that "friend's first only" speech I gave him to heart.
I didn't go.
Um... ok.... That's nice of you....
My friend took forever to get ready and we showed up downtown near midnight. I saw the guy at the door, and he looked..... doable- after about 3 drinks on my behalf. The lounge was alright. It was kind of dead.
My friend hated the lounge because it wasnt at all her scene. A while later he came over to where we were at the bar and hung out for a while, but he always had to excuse himself cause he had to keep an eye on audio equipment. At one point I told him "So I guess I owe you a beer for letting my friend in" and he said ok and I ordered us 2 beers. The bartender gave him his for free and I paid for mine, then he turned around to say "oh mine's free. I guess you still owe me beer! Ha ha "
Yeah. Ha. Fucking ha.
When my friend found out she said "He didn't even offer to pay for yours? Yeah, drop him. A girl shouldn't buy a guy his drink"
She kept asking me the entire night if I liked the guy, what I thought of him, did I see potential and I just had to say "not really." The guy isn't ugly, just, didn't make me go "wow" in my head when I saw him. There wasn't sexual chemistry for me, and I actually saw him as a possible friend friend. He was really nice but we were both boring together. So even then I didn't see us having a blast as friends if we hung out. He asked me what I was doing that weekend, and since I was spending it with my family, he asked if I wanted to come back next Friday and hang out. I told him I'd see what I had planned for then.
No back seat for this guy- I think he's one of those really awkward, don't-know-how-to-flirt types of guys. Like, smiling was the only thing he was doing. He barely hugged me and didn't get into any petting at all. Like.... incredibly shy or something. Or he's just completely clueless about girls.
My friend kept complaining to go and around 1:15 or so asked if we could leave to go to Wonderbar instead. The guy was busy so I had to wait until he came back outside so we could say bye and left around 1:40. I took a wrong turn (I hate downtown) and she just said to go home.
Seven days later, he texted me asking if I wanted to go to Fitzgerald (another music venue) for a show. SEVEN days later.
Well, I guess he took that "friend's first only" speech I gave him to heart.
I didn't go.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
I got dumped in under 30 minutes
Alright, so let's get the next set of stories lined up.
Back in April, I decided to give the online dating thing back another try. My intention was to use OkCupid mainly as a means of finding a friend. I guess I really didn't get the part that it is next to impossible to find a real friend without benefits in the online community.
I am so naive.
I started talking to a guy, and a few days later, we decided to meet up for sushi and a movie. He appeared to be a real gentleman, and I quickly agreed. Since his sister had just given birth to her first child, let's call him The Uncle, cause I honestly can't remember what his name is. Not like it matters much.
He suggested a sushi restaurant over about 30 minutes away from me. I didn't bother asking why since he was the one inviting. I arrived a few minutes early, and just stayed in my car waiting for him to show up. I never wait inside. I don't like giving the obvious impression that this is a first date if we greet inside the restaurant- I feel like all eyes are on us.
He showed up about 15 minutes later, and he stood at the entrance reaching for his cell. He was dressed business casual, and as I approached him, my face suddenly started shifting to the disappointment. In all honesty, I think his face did too. We greeted each other and immediately walked in. We sat at the bar and ordered our dishes, barely making conversation.
Me: "So how was your grandmother's birthday party yesterday?"
Him: "Oh it was alright. We ate a lot of food"
Me: "Was most of your family there too?"
Him: "Yeah"
.....silence.....
The minutes inched by. I was so glad to see our food arrive, because that way at least we wouldn't have a reason to talk as much.
Me: "So why did you pick this restaurant? I thought you lived in another area"
Him: "Oh well I figured it would be easier for you. You live in this area right?"
Me: "No. I live over on the west side of town. About 30 minutes away."
Him: "Oh I guess I'm not too familiar with Westchase. I live about 30 minutes up north"
Well that was smart. I understand your intentions were good, but we both had to drive out of our way for this seemingly boring date.
We went through the notions of discussing our lines of work (which I can't remember) and our time spent living in Houston (which I don't remember either.) It was obvious we weren't clicking at all, and I was desperately looking for a way to end this date, but didn't see how I could since he had invited me to the movies afterwards.
This is so boring!
As he called up the check on minute 25, and pulled out his credit card before the server had even handed him the bill, he said "So, do you mind if I take a rain check on this movie. I'm feeling pretty tired"
Sweet music to my ears.
"Sure, no problem" I answered jovially.
He paid for dinner, signed the receipt and we walked out.
"Well it was nice meeting you. I'll call you" he said.
"Yeah, thanks for dinner" I told him.
I quickly walked back into my car, looked at my watched and let out a sigh. 7:30pm
I quickly called my friend Shannon to fill her in on my date.
Shannon: "Aren't you supposed to be out on your date? What are you doing calling me?"
Me: "I was. It just ended."
Shannon: "Whaaat? It wasn't even an hour!"
Me: "Thirty minutes to be exact. Can you believe the ride to the restaurant took me longer than the date itself??"
Shannon: "Well that sucks"
Back in April, I decided to give the online dating thing back another try. My intention was to use OkCupid mainly as a means of finding a friend. I guess I really didn't get the part that it is next to impossible to find a real friend without benefits in the online community.
I am so naive.
I started talking to a guy, and a few days later, we decided to meet up for sushi and a movie. He appeared to be a real gentleman, and I quickly agreed. Since his sister had just given birth to her first child, let's call him The Uncle, cause I honestly can't remember what his name is. Not like it matters much.
 |
| My thought exactly |
He showed up about 15 minutes later, and he stood at the entrance reaching for his cell. He was dressed business casual, and as I approached him, my face suddenly started shifting to the disappointment. In all honesty, I think his face did too. We greeted each other and immediately walked in. We sat at the bar and ordered our dishes, barely making conversation.
Me: "So how was your grandmother's birthday party yesterday?"
Him: "Oh it was alright. We ate a lot of food"
Me: "Was most of your family there too?"
Him: "Yeah"
.....silence.....
The minutes inched by. I was so glad to see our food arrive, because that way at least we wouldn't have a reason to talk as much.
Me: "So why did you pick this restaurant? I thought you lived in another area"
Him: "Oh well I figured it would be easier for you. You live in this area right?"
Me: "No. I live over on the west side of town. About 30 minutes away."
Him: "Oh I guess I'm not too familiar with Westchase. I live about 30 minutes up north"
Well that was smart. I understand your intentions were good, but we both had to drive out of our way for this seemingly boring date.
We went through the notions of discussing our lines of work (which I can't remember) and our time spent living in Houston (which I don't remember either.) It was obvious we weren't clicking at all, and I was desperately looking for a way to end this date, but didn't see how I could since he had invited me to the movies afterwards.
This is so boring!
As he called up the check on minute 25, and pulled out his credit card before the server had even handed him the bill, he said "So, do you mind if I take a rain check on this movie. I'm feeling pretty tired"
Sweet music to my ears.
"Sure, no problem" I answered jovially.
He paid for dinner, signed the receipt and we walked out.
"Well it was nice meeting you. I'll call you" he said.
"Yeah, thanks for dinner" I told him.
I quickly walked back into my car, looked at my watched and let out a sigh. 7:30pm
I quickly called my friend Shannon to fill her in on my date.
Shannon: "Aren't you supposed to be out on your date? What are you doing calling me?"
Me: "I was. It just ended."
Shannon: "Whaaat? It wasn't even an hour!"
Me: "Thirty minutes to be exact. Can you believe the ride to the restaurant took me longer than the date itself??"
Shannon: "Well that sucks"
Friday, December 31, 2010
I met a girl
No... not in that way.... sorry to disappoint.
I firmly believe in the saying "People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime."
I met Shannon at a friend's party a couple of months back, and we just clicked from the beginning. I'm certain alcohol played a big factor in allowing me to feel comfortable enough to go back to her place along with her gay male friend, but that's beside the point.
The following weekend, she invited me out to celebrate her friend's birthday, and from that point on, we hung out every single weekend.
The kicker here though is that she was moving to NYC in December, so I made sure to exploit every outing to the maximum. We went to bars, clubs, restaurants, even BINGO out of all places and had a blast each time. We stayed in, got drunk on cheap vodka, dressed up to go out and made memories captured on film for our 3-day Halloween weekend.
During this time, I didn't even even bother to do any dating- I simply wasn't interested in giving up my girl-time for a guy. Time was limited and critical.
And this was when I realized that I didn't need to have a guy in my life to make me happy; as long as I had a strong group of friends, I was happy with that, and was sure to have fun. She came into my life for a reason, and that was to get me out of my dark, depressed moments. I can honestly say that this season was by far the easiest and funnest I've had in a VERY LONG TIME. And even though she moved away, I feel like she will remain in my heart and memories a lifetime.
I firmly believe in the saying "People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime."
I met Shannon at a friend's party a couple of months back, and we just clicked from the beginning. I'm certain alcohol played a big factor in allowing me to feel comfortable enough to go back to her place along with her gay male friend, but that's beside the point.
The following weekend, she invited me out to celebrate her friend's birthday, and from that point on, we hung out every single weekend.
The kicker here though is that she was moving to NYC in December, so I made sure to exploit every outing to the maximum. We went to bars, clubs, restaurants, even BINGO out of all places and had a blast each time. We stayed in, got drunk on cheap vodka, dressed up to go out and made memories captured on film for our 3-day Halloween weekend.
During this time, I didn't even even bother to do any dating- I simply wasn't interested in giving up my girl-time for a guy. Time was limited and critical.
And this was when I realized that I didn't need to have a guy in my life to make me happy; as long as I had a strong group of friends, I was happy with that, and was sure to have fun. She came into my life for a reason, and that was to get me out of my dark, depressed moments. I can honestly say that this season was by far the easiest and funnest I've had in a VERY LONG TIME. And even though she moved away, I feel like she will remain in my heart and memories a lifetime.
Nerds.
Monday, August 2, 2010
What I really mean when I say the following
The dating scene has been.... exciting to say the most. I've met some great guys, funny, intelligent and all respectful- real gentlemen, thank God. About half of them went as far as the third date, while the other half never made it past the first.
It got me thinking the other day while I was reading an article on Yahoo about the things guys will say, and the truth behind those expressions. I figured I'd add my two cents in to contribute my own version of encrypted statements.
What I say: We really shouldn't
What I really mean: If I didn't stop drinking after one beer and I'm in your apartment, you can bet that I REALLY WANT TO, but I don't want to get burned like I did the last time around. I'm only sleeping with you if you're my boyfriend. SO at least pretend to give me that.
What I say: I just don't think we clicked
What I really mean: You aren't attractive enough for me to overlook that and be sold on your personality alone.
What I say: You really need to visit California/Vegas/any major place I've been
What I really mean: I'm hoping we can date long enough so that we can take this trip together.
What I say: I've had sex with 3 guys
What I really mean: I've had vaginal sex with 3 different guys. You'll figure out the rest in time when I'm more comfortable talking about it with you.
What I say: What's your longest relationship?
What I really mean: Are you more for long term or short term?
What I say: Are you and your ex on speaking terms?
What I really mean: How did your romance end? Will I consider her a threat in our relationship; Will she make appearances or be brought up a lot in conversations?
What I say: How are you with kids?
What I really mean: Can you get along with younger kids, prefereably my 10-year twin sisters so one day we can all go out together.
What I say: Heeeey, haven't heard from you in a while.
What I really mean: Where the @$%& have you been and why haven't you called until now?!
What I say: So what's a regular week like for you?
What I really mean: I want to know your schedule so I can tell if you're avoiding me when you don't call because you're "busy" all of a sudden after the first date
What I say: I had a great time. We should do this again sometime.
What I really mean: Call me tomorrow
What I say: Well, thank you for dinner/coffee. It was nice meeting you.
What I really mean: Yeah, this isn't going to work out.
What I say: Oh my God you're huge.
What I really mean: OMFG you're HUGE.:)
It got me thinking the other day while I was reading an article on Yahoo about the things guys will say, and the truth behind those expressions. I figured I'd add my two cents in to contribute my own version of encrypted statements.
What I say: We really shouldn't
What I really mean: If I didn't stop drinking after one beer and I'm in your apartment, you can bet that I REALLY WANT TO, but I don't want to get burned like I did the last time around. I'm only sleeping with you if you're my boyfriend. SO at least pretend to give me that.
What I say: I just don't think we clicked
What I really mean: You aren't attractive enough for me to overlook that and be sold on your personality alone.
What I say: You really need to visit California/Vegas/any major place I've been
What I really mean: I'm hoping we can date long enough so that we can take this trip together.
What I say: I've had sex with 3 guys
What I really mean: I've had vaginal sex with 3 different guys. You'll figure out the rest in time when I'm more comfortable talking about it with you.
What I say: What's your longest relationship?
What I really mean: Are you more for long term or short term?
What I say: Are you and your ex on speaking terms?
What I really mean: How did your romance end? Will I consider her a threat in our relationship; Will she make appearances or be brought up a lot in conversations?
What I say: How are you with kids?
What I really mean: Can you get along with younger kids, prefereably my 10-year twin sisters so one day we can all go out together.
What I say: Heeeey, haven't heard from you in a while.
What I really mean: Where the @$%& have you been and why haven't you called until now?!
What I say: So what's a regular week like for you?
What I really mean: I want to know your schedule so I can tell if you're avoiding me when you don't call because you're "busy" all of a sudden after the first date
What I say: I had a great time. We should do this again sometime.
What I really mean: Call me tomorrow
What I say: Well, thank you for dinner/coffee. It was nice meeting you.
What I really mean: Yeah, this isn't going to work out.
What I say: Oh my God you're huge.
What I really mean: OMFG you're HUGE.:)
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Looking past the "First Date Mistake"
Early Friday afternoon, my boss came up to my desk and said "I have two tickets to the Astros game tonight. Do you want them?" "Sure, yes!" I answered. "Here, take them. Have fun. I want to see pictures on Monday."
As a good friend, I texted one of my girlfriends first to see if she wanted to go but said she couldn't. I had two other options: two guys I was currently talking to. One was Aaron, the other was Nate. I had befriended them both on Facebook in the hopes of finding out if they had more pictures that would help me determine if they were in fact as attractive as their profile pics.
I first accepted Aaron’s request and went to look at his pictures. I was very disappointed by what I found, or didn't find for that matter. Most of his pictures were 4 years old. Oh hell no. As we had talked earlier, I had asked him what kind of girl he was attracted to and he'd said someone who took care of herself physically saying he ran 3 miles every other day.
I really don't think you run cause the most recent picture showed a really chubby guy. Ugh. I hate guys who put "average" instead of "a few extra pounds". Man up and be honest!
Nate on the other hand appeared to be more physically fit and had a stare that really attracted me.
Aaron had already asked me out twice on too much of a short notice which I had turned down. Nate seemed like the perfect candidate so when my friend said no, I texted him if he was free that night to go to the game. He replied saying yes and we made plans to go for dinner before the game. I was a bit concerned that we might not be able to hit it off and that we'd be stuck with each other for 3 hours afterwards during the game.
Luckily we hit it off right away and had much to talk about. We arrived at the game and settled in to our seats right by the dugout and had a great time.
Even though I was attracted to Nate, I was concerned that he might not be attracted to me. This is what happens when you have low self esteem- you believe that you’re never good enough to be liked; Therefore I didn't want to get my hopes up for fear that it would backfire. When the game ended we remained in our seats to watch the fireworks display afterwards. He slowly put his arm around me and let me lay my head on his shoulder. The first step to mutual attraction [sighs.]
When the fireworks ended, Nate asked me if I wanted to go to the bar across the street. He got us drinks and as the alcohol slowly started taking over, the conversation became seemingly easier. We spent a few hours talking and soonafter challenged one another to darts; the loser would have to take a swig of beer. We were laughing, flirting with each other, and watching the other drunk people around us stumble to the ground. At one point, Nate said “Ok, the next game is for a kiss.”
I went along for it, not realizing that either way, we would end up kissing- that’s how drunk I was. I lost, brought his face towards my lips and kissed him. We continued playing, getting a kiss after each game, and eventually went back out onto the porch so he could smoke a cigarette.
I'm sorry, what? "You smoke?" I asked. "Only when I drink" he said. Ew... gross. He pulled out a fancy black box from his pocket and showed me what he smoked.
"See, look. It's an e-cigarette" he pointed out.
I admit I was curious and asked if I could try it. It felt like smoking hookah. The filter he was using was mentholated and wasn't as painful as taking a long drag from a regular cigarette. The air I exhaled turned out to be a water vapor instead of "second hand smoke." He only took about 3 drags from the cigarette during the night and put it away each time.
At one point, we ended up talking with a few other drunk people outside on the patio and can't quite remember how it lead to the discussion of dating but I remember him telling one of the older women there "Yeah, this is our first date."
"First date? really? Awww..... Honey look! It's their first date" she commented to her male partner.
I couldn't help but feel both happy and sad at the same time. Happy to hear him acknowledge our meeting as a date to strangers, but sad that this would be the only "first date" we'd experience. The excitement for each other would never be able to amount to that first night we spent together; I'd never be able to feel that confused, happy, giddy feeling in my stomach ever again as I did during our first date.
As the bar closed down, it was time to go back. We weren't ready to call it a night and wanted to stay together, but couldn't think of any place to go to just talk. The only options were to go to a 24-hour diner and get something to eat, or back to the other's place; I'd promised myself that as much as I wanted to be near him, it wouldn't be the right thing to do on the first date. I admit I wouldn't mind doing it, but I know it's not the greatest idea- we all know what happened when I rushed things with Matt, the marine right?
I had to go pick up my car at work, so we stayed in the parking lot for a while. Some time later, I actually dozed off or passed out, and woke up to us kissing, his hand caressing my breast, unbuttoning my shirt.
Wait, what? What's going on? I was completely out of it, and even though I noticed we were kissing, my ability to react wasn't all in place and I didn't respond until he was halfway through my buttons. I knew his hand was there, but my mind just reacted too late. Or maybe subconsciously, I wanted it as well. I stopped him, fumbled slowly to get my buttons back on, let out a small sigh of frustration and got out of the truck. I walked back to my car without looking back and got in. A few minutes later he left.
On the way home, I received the following text from him:
“Ok, I guess I shouldn’t expect a reply but I thought we were messing around. I’m sorry if I crossed a line I didn’t know or else I wouldn’t have. I just thought we were both enjoying it. I’m really confused right now and I hope you’re ok. If you need something let me know. I really did like you and I didn’t mean to cross that line.”
I thought about texting back when I got home but decided to call and chew him out instead.
“Why would you do that?” I questioned.
“I’m sorry, I just thought we were in the moment and that you felt the same way. I’m really sorry” he replied.
“I was asleep when you started doing that” I told him.
“Well, you were kissing me back so I didn’t think you were” he said
“I’m drunk, and I’m really disappointed in you Nate” I said.
“Oh man, I’m really sorry. The last thing I want you to think is that I took advantage of you. It’s just….. it’s been so long for me… I’m really really sorry” he admitted.
I could sense he was legitimately sorry and decided to give him one more chance. “I can admit that all the drinking we did tonight impaired us a lot and made us do things we probably wouldn’t have done sober. So tell you what, sleep on it. Think about what you’ve done, and if you want to talk to me again, you’ll call me tomorrow,” I told him bluntly.
“I don’t need to wait until tomorrow” he said.
I have my reasons for letting this slide. For one, a lot worse happened with my last boyfriend Sebastian, on our first date last year. I actually cried as I drove back home. I was blindsided and let things progress to benefit him solely. I was very ashamed of what had happened. Sebastian apologized profusely, and the very next day brought me roses and took me to dinner. Yep, that’s the way to do it!
With Nate, I didn’t let things go that far, and I know that alcohol played a big role in me letting loose and dropping my guard substantially. But I also walked away quietly and made him ashamed of what he’d done. In a way, I knew we would end up making out if I stayed longer in his truck- however, the whole unbuttoning-the-shirt thing threw me off guard completely. I wasn’t expecting that at all. I’m not going to lie and say it felt horrible. It felt good and it was pleasant, but I knew this shouldn’t be happening on a first date, so I put a stop to it. I’m pretty sure that if I would have told him “No” in the moment, he would have stopped also.
The next day, around 2 o’clock, Nate called me and we talked for about an hour before he went to sleep (he works graveyard shift.) I didn’t feel like bringing up the incident, and ultimately swept it under the rug. I invited him over for breakfast at my apartment on Sunday morning and we spent a couple of hours talking and watching TV. We didn’t make any other plans past the week, and due to our schedules, haven’t talked on the phone, but we’ve been able to text a few times and are planning to meet up again on Friday night.
If I let it, I know sex can happen, but after what happened with Matt, I’m not willing to put myself into that position. I know it’s better to wait and get to know each other, so that when the act does happen, there’s actually feelings involved and better chances that it may last longer than just a couple of weeks.
Or maybe I’m just a modern girl trying to exercise power and control. Yeah, we’ll see how that goes….
I think my safeguard is to just not shave prior to Friday.
Any ideas on how to withhold sex?
As a good friend, I texted one of my girlfriends first to see if she wanted to go but said she couldn't. I had two other options: two guys I was currently talking to. One was Aaron, the other was Nate. I had befriended them both on Facebook in the hopes of finding out if they had more pictures that would help me determine if they were in fact as attractive as their profile pics.
I first accepted Aaron’s request and went to look at his pictures. I was very disappointed by what I found, or didn't find for that matter. Most of his pictures were 4 years old. Oh hell no. As we had talked earlier, I had asked him what kind of girl he was attracted to and he'd said someone who took care of herself physically saying he ran 3 miles every other day.
I really don't think you run cause the most recent picture showed a really chubby guy. Ugh. I hate guys who put "average" instead of "a few extra pounds". Man up and be honest!
Nate on the other hand appeared to be more physically fit and had a stare that really attracted me.
Aaron had already asked me out twice on too much of a short notice which I had turned down. Nate seemed like the perfect candidate so when my friend said no, I texted him if he was free that night to go to the game. He replied saying yes and we made plans to go for dinner before the game. I was a bit concerned that we might not be able to hit it off and that we'd be stuck with each other for 3 hours afterwards during the game.
Luckily we hit it off right away and had much to talk about. We arrived at the game and settled in to our seats right by the dugout and had a great time.
Even though I was attracted to Nate, I was concerned that he might not be attracted to me. This is what happens when you have low self esteem- you believe that you’re never good enough to be liked; Therefore I didn't want to get my hopes up for fear that it would backfire. When the game ended we remained in our seats to watch the fireworks display afterwards. He slowly put his arm around me and let me lay my head on his shoulder. The first step to mutual attraction [sighs.]
When the fireworks ended, Nate asked me if I wanted to go to the bar across the street. He got us drinks and as the alcohol slowly started taking over, the conversation became seemingly easier. We spent a few hours talking and soonafter challenged one another to darts; the loser would have to take a swig of beer. We were laughing, flirting with each other, and watching the other drunk people around us stumble to the ground. At one point, Nate said “Ok, the next game is for a kiss.”
I went along for it, not realizing that either way, we would end up kissing- that’s how drunk I was. I lost, brought his face towards my lips and kissed him. We continued playing, getting a kiss after each game, and eventually went back out onto the porch so he could smoke a cigarette.
I'm sorry, what? "You smoke?" I asked. "Only when I drink" he said. Ew... gross. He pulled out a fancy black box from his pocket and showed me what he smoked.
"See, look. It's an e-cigarette" he pointed out.
I admit I was curious and asked if I could try it. It felt like smoking hookah. The filter he was using was mentholated and wasn't as painful as taking a long drag from a regular cigarette. The air I exhaled turned out to be a water vapor instead of "second hand smoke." He only took about 3 drags from the cigarette during the night and put it away each time.
At one point, we ended up talking with a few other drunk people outside on the patio and can't quite remember how it lead to the discussion of dating but I remember him telling one of the older women there "Yeah, this is our first date."
"First date? really? Awww..... Honey look! It's their first date" she commented to her male partner.
I couldn't help but feel both happy and sad at the same time. Happy to hear him acknowledge our meeting as a date to strangers, but sad that this would be the only "first date" we'd experience. The excitement for each other would never be able to amount to that first night we spent together; I'd never be able to feel that confused, happy, giddy feeling in my stomach ever again as I did during our first date.
As the bar closed down, it was time to go back. We weren't ready to call it a night and wanted to stay together, but couldn't think of any place to go to just talk. The only options were to go to a 24-hour diner and get something to eat, or back to the other's place; I'd promised myself that as much as I wanted to be near him, it wouldn't be the right thing to do on the first date. I admit I wouldn't mind doing it, but I know it's not the greatest idea- we all know what happened when I rushed things with Matt, the marine right?
I had to go pick up my car at work, so we stayed in the parking lot for a while. Some time later, I actually dozed off or passed out, and woke up to us kissing, his hand caressing my breast, unbuttoning my shirt.
Wait, what? What's going on? I was completely out of it, and even though I noticed we were kissing, my ability to react wasn't all in place and I didn't respond until he was halfway through my buttons. I knew his hand was there, but my mind just reacted too late. Or maybe subconsciously, I wanted it as well. I stopped him, fumbled slowly to get my buttons back on, let out a small sigh of frustration and got out of the truck. I walked back to my car without looking back and got in. A few minutes later he left.
On the way home, I received the following text from him:
“Ok, I guess I shouldn’t expect a reply but I thought we were messing around. I’m sorry if I crossed a line I didn’t know or else I wouldn’t have. I just thought we were both enjoying it. I’m really confused right now and I hope you’re ok. If you need something let me know. I really did like you and I didn’t mean to cross that line.”
I thought about texting back when I got home but decided to call and chew him out instead.
“Why would you do that?” I questioned.
“I’m sorry, I just thought we were in the moment and that you felt the same way. I’m really sorry” he replied.
“I was asleep when you started doing that” I told him.
“Well, you were kissing me back so I didn’t think you were” he said
“I’m drunk, and I’m really disappointed in you Nate” I said.
“Oh man, I’m really sorry. The last thing I want you to think is that I took advantage of you. It’s just….. it’s been so long for me… I’m really really sorry” he admitted.
I could sense he was legitimately sorry and decided to give him one more chance. “I can admit that all the drinking we did tonight impaired us a lot and made us do things we probably wouldn’t have done sober. So tell you what, sleep on it. Think about what you’ve done, and if you want to talk to me again, you’ll call me tomorrow,” I told him bluntly.
“I don’t need to wait until tomorrow” he said.
I have my reasons for letting this slide. For one, a lot worse happened with my last boyfriend Sebastian, on our first date last year. I actually cried as I drove back home. I was blindsided and let things progress to benefit him solely. I was very ashamed of what had happened. Sebastian apologized profusely, and the very next day brought me roses and took me to dinner. Yep, that’s the way to do it!
With Nate, I didn’t let things go that far, and I know that alcohol played a big role in me letting loose and dropping my guard substantially. But I also walked away quietly and made him ashamed of what he’d done. In a way, I knew we would end up making out if I stayed longer in his truck- however, the whole unbuttoning-the-shirt thing threw me off guard completely. I wasn’t expecting that at all. I’m not going to lie and say it felt horrible. It felt good and it was pleasant, but I knew this shouldn’t be happening on a first date, so I put a stop to it. I’m pretty sure that if I would have told him “No” in the moment, he would have stopped also.
The next day, around 2 o’clock, Nate called me and we talked for about an hour before he went to sleep (he works graveyard shift.) I didn’t feel like bringing up the incident, and ultimately swept it under the rug. I invited him over for breakfast at my apartment on Sunday morning and we spent a couple of hours talking and watching TV. We didn’t make any other plans past the week, and due to our schedules, haven’t talked on the phone, but we’ve been able to text a few times and are planning to meet up again on Friday night.
If I let it, I know sex can happen, but after what happened with Matt, I’m not willing to put myself into that position. I know it’s better to wait and get to know each other, so that when the act does happen, there’s actually feelings involved and better chances that it may last longer than just a couple of weeks.
Or maybe I’m just a modern girl trying to exercise power and control. Yeah, we’ll see how that goes….
I think my safeguard is to just not shave prior to Friday.
Any ideas on how to withhold sex?
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Megaphone Guy
I’ve decided to lay low on OKCupid and have deactivated my profile for the time being, however, not before pulling out the last two candidates and continuing the dating process off the site through texting and AIM.
Late last week, I continued messaging another guy who was a 30-year old high school teacher. I appreciated his direct approach when he messaged me “I’m in the mood for pie and coffee. Are you busy this weekend?”
I like direct men. It shows confidence and weeds out the otherwise shy, quiet guys. I told him I was up for it, seeing as to how he appeared normal in his pictures and online, and we agreed to meet up on Saturday night.
He told me he’d call between 3 and 4 on Saturday afternoon and at 3:50 pm, my phone rang.
Hmmm, right on time. I like this.
He sounded extremely chipper and active and told me we could meet up on my side of town at The House of Pies. “And if you want, we can go out later, to like Dave and Buster’s” he said
What if I don’t like the guy? Ugh… I don’t want to get stuck following up on an agreement if I want to pull out.
“Uh, let’s see how we do first. I mean, I don’t want to pressure you into hanging out if we don’t get along” I told him. “Ok, sounds fair” he answered.
That night, I got caught in a thunderstorm, and I showed up to the diner about 20 minutes late. On the way there, I tried to pump myself up and hoped “Man, let this guy be IT.” I saw him from a distance and continued walking towards him. I was completely shocked by what I came up to.
Oh man was he NOT what I was expecting. He looked completely different from his profile picture. Maannn…. I should pay closer attention and always find a way to ask for MORE pictures. We greeted with a hug and sat down. I couldn’t look at him straight in the eyes. He was so unattractive. But what bothered me the most weren’t his looks- it was his loudness. He talked so loud that everyone within a 4 table radius could notice we were on a first date. He wasn’t talking to me personally- he was talking to the entire diner. He was hyper, excited and too outgoing. Megaphone guy. So I played the cold and quiet card.
Man this sucks. I got stuck with an ugly guy. Again. We continued with the date and ordered something to eat. I honestly lost my appetite and ordered an ice cream shake instead. I tried effortlessly to speak to him in a quiet tone so he’d get the hint. Didn’t work. I just kept looking around at the other customers, sinking lower and lower into the booth.
About an hour later, I decided to hint that I was leaving. I told him I was going to my mom’s for the night and bid him good night. As he walked back to his car, I noticed he had slumped down and was no longer standing tall. The date lasted an hour. It actually took me longer than that to get ready. Past midnight, he texted me “Had a good time tonight, sorry pie and coffee wasn’t your thing.” I don’t remember responding, but the following day, around midnight again I got the following text “Assuming there won’t be a second date, which seems safe based on last night, I just wanted to extend best wishes and say good luck in the whole finding happiness life thing. Bye.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle.
Oh well, one guy chucked out of the running. No big deal.
Late last week, I continued messaging another guy who was a 30-year old high school teacher. I appreciated his direct approach when he messaged me “I’m in the mood for pie and coffee. Are you busy this weekend?”
I like direct men. It shows confidence and weeds out the otherwise shy, quiet guys. I told him I was up for it, seeing as to how he appeared normal in his pictures and online, and we agreed to meet up on Saturday night.
He told me he’d call between 3 and 4 on Saturday afternoon and at 3:50 pm, my phone rang.
Hmmm, right on time. I like this.
He sounded extremely chipper and active and told me we could meet up on my side of town at The House of Pies. “And if you want, we can go out later, to like Dave and Buster’s” he said
What if I don’t like the guy? Ugh… I don’t want to get stuck following up on an agreement if I want to pull out.
“Uh, let’s see how we do first. I mean, I don’t want to pressure you into hanging out if we don’t get along” I told him. “Ok, sounds fair” he answered.
That night, I got caught in a thunderstorm, and I showed up to the diner about 20 minutes late. On the way there, I tried to pump myself up and hoped “Man, let this guy be IT.” I saw him from a distance and continued walking towards him. I was completely shocked by what I came up to.
Oh man was he NOT what I was expecting. He looked completely different from his profile picture. Maannn…. I should pay closer attention and always find a way to ask for MORE pictures. We greeted with a hug and sat down. I couldn’t look at him straight in the eyes. He was so unattractive. But what bothered me the most weren’t his looks- it was his loudness. He talked so loud that everyone within a 4 table radius could notice we were on a first date. He wasn’t talking to me personally- he was talking to the entire diner. He was hyper, excited and too outgoing. Megaphone guy. So I played the cold and quiet card.
Man this sucks. I got stuck with an ugly guy. Again. We continued with the date and ordered something to eat. I honestly lost my appetite and ordered an ice cream shake instead. I tried effortlessly to speak to him in a quiet tone so he’d get the hint. Didn’t work. I just kept looking around at the other customers, sinking lower and lower into the booth.
About an hour later, I decided to hint that I was leaving. I told him I was going to my mom’s for the night and bid him good night. As he walked back to his car, I noticed he had slumped down and was no longer standing tall. The date lasted an hour. It actually took me longer than that to get ready. Past midnight, he texted me “Had a good time tonight, sorry pie and coffee wasn’t your thing.” I don’t remember responding, but the following day, around midnight again I got the following text “Assuming there won’t be a second date, which seems safe based on last night, I just wanted to extend best wishes and say good luck in the whole finding happiness life thing. Bye.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle.
Oh well, one guy chucked out of the running. No big deal.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
First DateS
I managed to meet two different guys this weekend. Normally, I wouldn't dabble with more than one guy at a time, but I've come to a point in my life where I want to spoil myself a little bit before things get too hard.
Oh who the hell am I kidding? I need to get laid.
I'd been talking to Ricky for almost two weeks before we finally settled on meeting up for dinner at a sushi bar. He was a little more "kid" than most guys I'd been with, but this isn't to say that he was immature. He was just a year younger than me and living life- going to school and working full time just the way I was. Normal right?
His pictures depicted an attractive guy with a perfect smile, but I was in no way prepared for the reality I came face to face with on Saturday. The guy was HOT. Imagine James Franco. You know, Spiderman's friend? Yeah, that's him. I mean, a better version of him, with a tan and great smile, but he might as well have been a clone.
We met up for dinner at 5:30, had dessert, went to a video arcade, a fountain, and a late night dinner. We parted ways at 2:30 late that night. I admit I had a very good time, but it got quiet on my end for a couple of moments a few times. He was more than willing to keep conversation flowing, and he showed to be a great conversationalist. He mentioned “we should get together some time this week to watch The Sandlot.” Did I mention he was more on the kid side?
I had made plans to meet date #2, Trevor, the following Sunday night after spending the day with my family. He seemed more confident, yet when I met him, he actually began extending out his hand to shake mine.
Wtf…. Seriously? I leaned in as fast as possible to greet him with a hug instead. He didn’t look like his pictures, but not to say he looked bad. He just looked…… really different. I really don’t know what happened. We spent a couple of hours talking over a cup of cappuccino, and I sensed he was much more closed off than he appeared to be online through emails and texts even.
These guys did a complete switch on me. Ricky seemed to be the quiet, shy guy online, but ended up being the most outgoing of the two, while Trevor looked to be very confident, and was rather quiet and softspoken. Very shy and more on the nerd side. When I tried to get them to divulge about their past relationships, Ricky said he’d lived with a girl before (which meant he was trained) while Trevor had only gone on a few dates with a girl because he'd spent the last 6 years in school.
[gasp]
Is it possible he’s a virgin??
Oh noooooooooooooooooooooo!
The next day, I texted both to see how they would respond; Trevor actually asked me out to go to a pub on Wednesday night for some trivia that we had discussed, and afterwards to dinner. Ricky on the other hand, never set a date.
I was very surprised.
I’ve got two activities coming up this weekend and the next, and am unsure which of the two to take. My best bet would be to take one to each, considering they are completely different, but I guess we'll see how the rest of this week goes to make any final decisions about this Saturday night.
Oh who the hell am I kidding? I need to get laid.
I'd been talking to Ricky for almost two weeks before we finally settled on meeting up for dinner at a sushi bar. He was a little more "kid" than most guys I'd been with, but this isn't to say that he was immature. He was just a year younger than me and living life- going to school and working full time just the way I was. Normal right?
His pictures depicted an attractive guy with a perfect smile, but I was in no way prepared for the reality I came face to face with on Saturday. The guy was HOT. Imagine James Franco. You know, Spiderman's friend? Yeah, that's him. I mean, a better version of him, with a tan and great smile, but he might as well have been a clone.
We met up for dinner at 5:30, had dessert, went to a video arcade, a fountain, and a late night dinner. We parted ways at 2:30 late that night. I admit I had a very good time, but it got quiet on my end for a couple of moments a few times. He was more than willing to keep conversation flowing, and he showed to be a great conversationalist. He mentioned “we should get together some time this week to watch The Sandlot.” Did I mention he was more on the kid side?
I had made plans to meet date #2, Trevor, the following Sunday night after spending the day with my family. He seemed more confident, yet when I met him, he actually began extending out his hand to shake mine.
Wtf…. Seriously? I leaned in as fast as possible to greet him with a hug instead. He didn’t look like his pictures, but not to say he looked bad. He just looked…… really different. I really don’t know what happened. We spent a couple of hours talking over a cup of cappuccino, and I sensed he was much more closed off than he appeared to be online through emails and texts even.
These guys did a complete switch on me. Ricky seemed to be the quiet, shy guy online, but ended up being the most outgoing of the two, while Trevor looked to be very confident, and was rather quiet and softspoken. Very shy and more on the nerd side. When I tried to get them to divulge about their past relationships, Ricky said he’d lived with a girl before (which meant he was trained) while Trevor had only gone on a few dates with a girl because he'd spent the last 6 years in school.
[gasp]
Is it possible he’s a virgin??
Oh noooooooooooooooooooooo!
The next day, I texted both to see how they would respond; Trevor actually asked me out to go to a pub on Wednesday night for some trivia that we had discussed, and afterwards to dinner. Ricky on the other hand, never set a date.
I was very surprised.
I’ve got two activities coming up this weekend and the next, and am unsure which of the two to take. My best bet would be to take one to each, considering they are completely different, but I guess we'll see how the rest of this week goes to make any final decisions about this Saturday night.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
The meeting of his colleagues
Finally, after 6 months of him going on and on about his colleagues, I get to meet them tonight. Where are we going you might ask? No other than to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Sebastian might actually be more excited than expected about this meetup tonight. I see it as any other Rocky showing; Maybe it's because I've seen it about..... 5 times last year and it's been enough. The reason why I like going is no other than to bring a virgin to the show- a person who's never experienced the movie with audience participation. I'll admit the movie still gives me the creeps, but the first time I saw it, I was hooked. The experience was so much fun, I was ecstatic about seeing it again a few years later.
But the reason why I'm actually looking forward to tonight is because I'll finally be introduced to the people he works with. Since the beginning, I've managed to be introduced to only two others. They were a lot of fun, a bit different, but I didn't mind. It was the act of being introduced and included that made me feel appreciated. Silly, maybe- but with a private guy like Sebastian, I was lucky to get anything at all.
I expect it to go without a hitch; they are older than me- by at least 10 years I think, so I can only hope they don't go off about science or politics with each other. These are subjects I'm no expert on, and a bit ignorant compared to their vast knowledge. If you suggest talking about culture, I'll go all off.
We are making progress. Definitely at a s.n.a.i.l.'s pace, but some progress at least.
Valentine's Day tomorrow: I get to spend it babysitting my sisters as I'm making mah greens.
Have fun peoples.
Sebastian might actually be more excited than expected about this meetup tonight. I see it as any other Rocky showing; Maybe it's because I've seen it about..... 5 times last year and it's been enough. The reason why I like going is no other than to bring a virgin to the show- a person who's never experienced the movie with audience participation. I'll admit the movie still gives me the creeps, but the first time I saw it, I was hooked. The experience was so much fun, I was ecstatic about seeing it again a few years later.
But the reason why I'm actually looking forward to tonight is because I'll finally be introduced to the people he works with. Since the beginning, I've managed to be introduced to only two others. They were a lot of fun, a bit different, but I didn't mind. It was the act of being introduced and included that made me feel appreciated. Silly, maybe- but with a private guy like Sebastian, I was lucky to get anything at all.
I expect it to go without a hitch; they are older than me- by at least 10 years I think, so I can only hope they don't go off about science or politics with each other. These are subjects I'm no expert on, and a bit ignorant compared to their vast knowledge. If you suggest talking about culture, I'll go all off.
We are making progress. Definitely at a s.n.a.i.l.'s pace, but some progress at least.
Valentine's Day tomorrow: I get to spend it babysitting my sisters as I'm making mah greens.
Have fun peoples.
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