Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Jet Lounge Douche

After the disappointing date with The Uncle, I went back to OkCupid to search for someone else to hang out with. A guy about five years older than me, with interesting pictures messaged me about my musical tastes. We talked for a few days before he offered his number and he asked me out. Since I wasn't mentally in the mood to go out on a date, I told him I was only on OkC to make new friends. He agreed too (shocker) and said we didn't have to go on a date. Since he was a band promoter, he mentioned that he'd be booking some bands for a Saturday show and would be managing the door. He told me he could get me in for free, and when I invited one of my girlfriends to come with, I asked him if he'd be able to get her in too. "Ok, I think I can sneak her in, but tell her she owes me a beer"

Um... ok.... That's nice of you....

My friend took forever to get ready and we showed up downtown near midnight. I saw the guy at the door, and he looked..... doable- after about 3 drinks on my behalf. The lounge was alright. It was kind of dead.
My friend hated the lounge because it wasnt at all her scene. A while later he came over to where we were at the bar and hung out for a while, but he always had to excuse himself cause he had to keep an eye on audio equipment. At one point I told him "So I guess I owe you a beer for letting my friend in" and he said ok and I ordered us 2 beers. The bartender gave him his for free and I paid for mine, then he turned around to say "oh mine's free. I guess you still owe me beer! Ha ha "

Yeah. Ha. Fucking ha.

When my friend found out she said "He didn't even offer to pay for yours? Yeah, drop him. A girl shouldn't buy a guy his drink"

She kept asking me the entire night if I liked the guy, what I thought of him, did I see potential and I just had to say "not really."  The guy isn't ugly, just, didn't make me go "wow" in my head when I saw him. There wasn't sexual chemistry for me, and I actually saw him as a possible friend friend. He was really nice but we were both boring together. So even then I didn't see us having a blast as friends if we hung out. He asked me what I was doing that weekend, and since I was spending it with my family, he asked if I wanted to come back next Friday and hang out. I told him I'd see what I had planned for then.

No back seat for this guy- I think he's one of those really awkward, don't-know-how-to-flirt types of guys. Like, smiling was the only thing he was doing. He barely hugged me and didn't get into any petting at all. Like.... incredibly shy or something. Or he's just completely clueless about girls.

My friend kept complaining to go and around 1:15 or so asked if we could leave to go to Wonderbar instead. The guy was busy so I had to wait until he came back outside so we could say bye and left around 1:40. I took a wrong turn (I hate downtown) and she just said to go home. 

Seven days later, he texted me asking if I wanted to go to Fitzgerald (another music venue) for a show. SEVEN days later.

Well, I guess he took that "friend's first only" speech I gave him to heart.

I didn't go.


  1. Okay, but look at it from his point of view.
    You said you only wanted a friend.
    You showed up with a girlfriend who plainly didn't want to be there.
    You were completely unamused by any of his attempts at warmth or humor.
    Then you said you'd be out of town, and "we'll see" to his attempts to see you again.

    Basically, you showed up in a suit of armor with a flashing neon sign that read "Unavailable and uninterested". He may very well be bad at flirting, and it sounds like it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway, but you certainly gave him no reason to think that any sort of physical advance would be welcome. You can't have it both ways. You can't say you just want to be friends then get mad that he isn't pursuing you.

    Being guarded is normal. You should be a bit guarded. Dating sucks. But you have to let him in a little bit. Just a little. I hope the next date goes better for you!

  2. I Completely understand your point of view, and quite honestly felt the same way when I saw what he did. It's okay that he didn't pursue me, and I guess my friend didn't understand the fact that we were meeting up as friends. I understand that in his defense he probably said to himself "why do I have to buy her a drink". I didn't think anything of it till my Gf chimed in