Tuesday, November 17, 2009

You never asked me to be yours [part 2]

[continued from Part 1]

Once back home from his birthday dinner, I started telling Sebastian that I had talked to one of my best friends recently about new developments. When I told her that I was going to Europe on vacation, I told her I was going with "my-ex-turned-friend-turned-open-relationship" at which Sebastian said "You mean boyfriend, right?" I gave him a blank look as he continued saying "Well, it's pretty obvious that we're together."

Without a flinch I told him "You never asked me to be your girlfriend."

"Well, I didn't think I needed to ask you. I mean, we sort of just fell back into it." he answered. "I mean, I'm not looking at marriage anything soon. To tell you the truth, I don't think I'll ever get married again."

"Um... that's ok. I'm not thinking of marriage. Plus, I don't know if I ever want to get married either."

It's a whole fairytale at this point. I think that's what I want. But I'm more interested in commitment. He doesn’t believe in monogamy forever. He doesn’t believe in marriage any more. I think his divorce had a lot to do with it and maybe I just met him at the wrong time.

As he left Sunday night, I said to him "No nookie when you're out on vacation in Redding next month."

He turned to me with a confused look and answered "No Ren, that's our thing. And I don't plan on looking for it elsewhere.."

So, I guess...... this makes us........ a couple?  Meh..... I didn't bother to ask again.  Both our statuses on Facebook read "single." I'm still tempted to assume that he's leaving it that way because he's not familiar wih FB. ;)


  1. Oh man, nothing worse than The Talk. As long as you have the nookie issue covered tho I think you're good =)

  2. Glad you've clarified SOME issues but can you not still see trouble ahead? Oh well, only you REALLY know you and your lot.

  3. Congratulations! The problem with Facebook is, if you change it to "In a Relationship with" and name him, he has to approve it. And I think it automatically changes him to in a relationship with you, but I could be wrong. You could just put In a Relationship and see if he changes it.

  4. Thanks Steph- Yes, I remember about the name thing. i did it when we were together the first time. But it took him over a week to realize that he had to approve it- and it wasn't until I pointed it out to him.

    I'm kind of NOT tempted to change it.... like, it would freak him out or something if i did, and he'd go back to thinking "omg, we're this committed couple- i can't breathe!!"
    so as long as we're clear about being together and with no one else, i really don't feel the need to make it public. People know we're dating so it's cool

  5. Ooo, I wouldn't know what to do. I would probably demand a Facebook official relationship (as I do with my best friend demanding him to accept my request to be 'brothers'), but you know, if he doesn't accept, he doesn't accept (as my best friend did), but it doesn't mean anything, so don't worry about it. :)

    Do you hate it too?
    "If you're going through Hell, keep going."