Monday, October 26, 2009

My opinion on Open Relationships

Why do people insist on saying that open relationships are the worst thing possible?

My friend Jennifer gave me the most disgusted look ever when she asked if Sebastian and I were together and I told her "sort of."

"Why would you do that? So you guys are like what? F- Buddies? He can get what he wants, when he wants it?"

I hate that term, and though it may seem like that's all we are, it's not quite true. We're dating. How is that any different than when other people date? I know that a few years ago, I never would have imagined being in this position, but I can't quite dismiss it as being a terrible idea. Even though we are in an open relationship, we are still honest with each other. And we don't have sex with other people. At the current time, neither one of us is dating someone else. I did date two other guys, but I wasn't ready to the idea of being divided by them.

I think the reason why Sebastian prefers that term as opposed to the boyfriend/girlfriend exclusivity titles is because it scares him. I think commitment scares him because it ended so negatively the last time around, and I can finally understand some of it. I didn't understand it before, but I do now. I guess you have to experience the situation to comprehend the motions, right?

I didn't sleep with BEG when I had the chance; I couldn't. I didn't feel completely comfortable. I have to say that a part of me is....... relieved......... and grateful. If Sebastian wasn't around, I would have gone to BEG out of loneliness, but there weren't sparks to begin with. Maybe it had a lot to do with Sebastian being in the picture.

STDs has made dating a lot harder. Sebastian and I agree on this. And I won't sleep with someone new while I'm still with Sebastian. It's not safe.

BEG and I talked about STDs the other day when we met for lunch. I said that the new generation would have it a lot harder with sex because of the percentage of teens having STDs. He said that they had it a lot easier because 1 in 4 teens has an STD and makes it more acceptable as they become more open minded to the fact.

Ok, so maybe he has a point. I think however the only reason why he feels this way is because he told me he has oral herpes and HPV.

I'm currently happy with Sebastian. I'm happy because I can be joyful with him. He's someone I can spend my time with, share new moments with, visit new places and laugh.

Laughter- that's the most important thing for me.

And I'm not falling in love. It's dating. I won't let my walls come down.


  1. I think that open relationships can work and be beneficial to both parties. It is good that you two have agreed not to have sex with anyone else while you are sleeping together. I have to disagree with BEG. Just because more people have STDs, does not make it more acceptable to go spread them around. It's just not healthy! ;)

  2. Hmm, I hope you are right about Sebastian's phobia of commitment. Nice post.