Sunday, August 1, 2010

How did I get this mean?

There is a colleague, Rick, near my work area who is in his late twenties and will casually catch up with me during the days. Yesterday however, I realized that I'd most likely ruined that new-found friendship.

We are both sarcastic, but I admit that I can be overly to the point of being very mean, short and rude. At least, that's what it seems to be to others, but deep down inside, I mean it in the most twisted playful way. Rick knew about my date this past Friday with Nate, and asked me how it had gone on Monday.  I filled him in on the details and we joked around about the things that had happened.

The next day, Rick told me he'd spent just as much time with one of his colleagues talking about life, as I'd spent it on my date with Nate (10 hours.) My intention was to be playful and quickly shot back with "Don't even think about comparing my date with yours." He tried to correct himself as he walked off and somewhere along the way mentioned that it hadn't been a date because she was married.

The next day I went to see him at his desk to ask him to finish telling his story and without looking at me once said "I noticed you have an attitude that's rather negative. You appear to be one way, but completely different at other times. You act very similar to my ex and the lady who used to have your spot, and I don't like people like that."

I was shocked. He'd set me straight, and I quickly realized my wrongdoings. My stomach sunk, so low and I could only muster "Well I'm sorry I offended you" as I hurriedly walked away. In the distance I could hear him say "No, it's not that you've offended me it's......." as the words trailed in the air.

All day yesterday, the thought just lingered on in my head. I felt so bad and embarrassed about what I'd done. Late last night, I wrote a note offering my apology with the idea putting it in the box with one of the blueberry muffins I needed to buy him back, considering I'd accidently taken it from his stash earlier this week. I slipped the note into my purse this morning,  and was prepared with my apology.  I figured he'd either accept the appology, or worse just let it sit and refuse, but I would have at least tried.  Once at work, I went through  my purse to get a dollar and the note.... which wasn't there.

What the hell? Where is it? Man this sucks. Everything happens for a reason? God works in mysterious ways? Bullsh*t!

Earlier this morning, Rick quietly greeted me at my desk, but quickly returned to his work area. Later on, he spent quite some time talking with my cubicle roomate and left, not before bringing back the book I'd suggested for reading last week. He said "I don't think I'm going to have time to read it" as he placed it on my desk.

Ouch. Cold shoulder maybe? 

Alright, well here's to attempt #2 tomorrow morning on the apology letter. I better not screw this one up again cause not talking is making things tense and very awkward.

Plus, take note- this might actually be the first time a woman has admitted that she was wrong, and he was right!

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