Thursday, September 9, 2010

An old flame continues burning

I spent some time a few months ago writing about the older man in my "younger" years. His name was Chris, and he was a service rep. for the shop where I used to work with my dad.

I admitted to you, my readers, that I'd recently caught myself daydreaming about him while at work, wondering what had become of him after the last time we'd talked over 2 years ago.

Some personal changes happened during the summer, and I quickly put him out of the picture, realizing that I wouldn't be able to accept the 20 year difference between us right now.

A couple of weeks ago, however, I missed a call and received  a voicemail.

"Hello Ren, this is Chris, from California. I used to service your shop when you used to work out there with your dad. Anyway, I just wanted to give you a call and see how you were doing. I'd love to hear from you. Take care, bye bye."

I stopped dead in my tracks, mouth agape, blood rushing to my face.

No way. What are the chances??

That weekend, my dad had come home and my cell phone was low on its battery, therefore allowing me more excuses not to return the call right away. I texted him back to let him know I'd received his call, but wasn't available to talk.

About a week later, I finally managed to get back in touch with him, and we chatted for a short while. He was still doing the same work, living out in Palm Springs, single and kidless. We exchanged email addresses for good this time, and bid each other "good day."

A couple of weeks later, Chris began texting me on a daily basis, checking in to see how my day was going, and what my plans were for the weekend. At one point, he asked me to send him a picture of myself, saying that it had been years since he had last seen me.

And that's when the compliments started rolling in.......

"Wow Ren, u r a beautiful lady!!! You really are absolutely gorgeous! You have really grown up. When I used to stop by to see u i thought u were a very pretty girl, but in 5 years u have matured into a stunningly beautiful woman!!!"

I mentioned that I wasn't used to flattery to which he responded by saying "I can't see how! If u still lived in So. Cal. i would have asked u out for sure!"

Over the next few days, Chris would continue complimenting me, dropping subtle hints about his interest in dating, and asking me if I'd be up for accepting his invitation to dinner if he lived closer to "hopefully get to know each other better and see if there is any chemistry to pursue things further. Despite the age difference."

When I didn't answer right away, he picked up on my hesitation and I mentioned that I would rather date someone within my age group, to experience new things together. Plus, saying "It's proven that women outlive men. So where does that leave me? You've already got a head start!" most likely didn't sit too well with him.

He got the point and I told him I'd only be available to offer a friendship, to which he gladly accepted.  He asked if I could keep an open mind about his thoughts regarding me.

Essentially, we began talking a bit more and sharing details about our families. When he continued to compliment, I asked why he was crushing on me, seeing as to how I was in Texas and he was all the way over in California. He admitted that he'd found me attractive 4 years ago, and that I had been on his thoughts from time to time.

When he asked me for the second time if there was anything about him that I found attractive, I decided to set my foot down.

"It's starting to bug me that you keep pushing the issue.  I said I could be friends, but it's evident that it's not going to work" I texted him.

Apparently, he must have understood me crystal clear, because his last message to me was "No problem Ren, my apologies! take care and have a wonderful day."

It's ok to fantasize, but not actually follow through with the fantasy.

1 comment:

  1. There's nothing more I hate than when an old love just won't let someone go on and heal. I see some men who just keep entering women's lives, just when they thought they'd healed. The age gap problem IS an issue, though. My mother-in-law married a man 15 years older and spent the last few years taking care of him. He finally died, leaving her a widow at 69. These are things we don't think about at this age...but they are an issue, especially if you want to travel and have fun when you retire.