Men have become difficult

Just like men will say they don't understand women, I sometimes can't understand men either.
My labor day weekend was....... confusing, and it was all because of men.

Nate and I hung out on Friday night after my class at the college, and he decided to take me to the nice wine bar just down from his house. We had a great time. We tasted a variety of wines, cheeses and had scallops and ceviche. I don't think the meal could have been more perfect. It was past midnight, when we decided to leave. I was slowly gearing up to head back to his apartment, when his body slowly started leading me out towards the bar across the street.

"I feel like it's a waste to go to the bar, especially after the nice wines we just had" I told him.

"Come on, it's a ritual to go to the bar" he said as he grabbed my hand and walked up the stairs.

I told him not to get me anything to drink as I headed to the bathroom, saying that I would pick something when I came back. Already feeling tipsy, I wanted a break from the drinking. I came back a short while later, to find a Cosmo, and a Jägerbomb just for me. I sighed and let out a small hint of frustration.

I told him not to get me anything.

We talked out on the balcony, and continued drinking. At one point, Nate met up with some of the waiters that had been out at the Wine Bar and struck up a conversation with them. I was beginning to get very quiet because of how tired I was and Nate got mad.

"You're being mean right now. I'm the only one talking and you're not saying anything. Usually you're more talkative than this" he pointed out.

I calmly told him that I was tired, seeing as to how my day had started at 6:30 that morning, and that it was past 1:00 already. I wasn't ignoring him, I just didn't have the same amount of energy after all those drinks.

After finishing off the 4th drink at the bar (because he got me two more), we went back up to his apartment and I started getting ready for bed. I brushed my teeth and changed clothes and laid out on the couch. Nate came back with a red solo cup full of Lemon Drop. That cup is 16 ounces.

No way. I'm definitely not drinking this.

"I can't drink that. I just brushed my teeth" I told him.

"So?" Nate said, asking for justification.

"It's lemon, and I just had toothpaste in my mouth....." I said. Duh. "It's not going to taste good"

He gave me a look suggesting "And....?" and rolled his eyes and walked away.

I ended up dozzing off a few times during the dawn hours, with Nate trying desperately to keep me awake and get me to watch things online and on youtube.

"Come on, please wake up. I want to hang out with you" he commented. I did manage to get up a few times to watch what he wanted me to see, but would ultimately fall back asleep. At 5:00 am, Nate finally decided it was time to go to bed, and I crawled in to snuggle with him.

At 7:30, his phone starts beeping repeatedly, and I kindly ask him to turn it off. He opens his eyes, and completely ignores me.

Ok, he's drunk. Whatever. I took the phone, turned it off, and got my iTouch and started checking my messages and navigate towards Facebook. And that's when I notice it:

Around 3:30 am, around the same time he was talking about my status update for the wine bar, a sober man's thoughts became a drunk man's words.

I felt upset, and quickly said "I don't think this is going to work out" as he laid passed out next to me. I went into the bathroom, got my things together, and came back to wish him goodbye.

"I had a lot of fun with you, and don't regret anything at all. Take care" I said, as I gave him a kiss and headed for the door. He opened his eyes one last time, completely glazed over, and closed them back.

I went back to my apartment, a bit disappointed about the events of that evening, but determined that I wouldn't let it affect me. I thought about it for the remainder of the day, and on early Sunday morning, sent him the following text, knowing that he would be at work:

I hope you're having a good day at work. I can't explain how I felt about leaving you on Saturday. Saying "sad" doesn't quite justify it.  I had exciting times with you and am bummed not to have you there anymore. Big Hugs.

When I didn't receive a response for the rest of the day, I pushed it aside, and decided that he had spoken and was done with me. I went back to OKCupid, and began my "re-search."

****

The following day, a really cute guy named J contacted me, and we spent most of the afternoon texting and chatting online. After a while, we exchanged Facebook profiles to get a better look at each other and liked what we saw.

Around 9pm, as I'm chatting with J and talking with my mom, my phone starts ringing.  I check the caller ID and see "Nate."

WTF? Is this for real? Is he about to chew me out?

I answer the phone, and he gently greets me as usual. He asks me how I'm doing and what I've been doing this weekend, and then fills me in on what he did.

"Yeah so, I don't know when you sent me that text, and sorry for not replying sooner but..... I've been in jail this past weekend" he said.

"What?? What happened?" I ask him.

"Well, I went out on Saturday night with Renee (the neighbor), her boyfriend and her brother to the bar, and had a few drinks. We split ways when the bar closed, and I decided to get in my truck and go buy some cigarettes just down the street. Well, turns out there was a raid operation because of Labor Day weekend, and they were pulling over a whole bunch of people. I declined to do the field sobriety tests, and they took me into a mobile blood bank bus and withdrew blood, and yeah, well..... I got charged with a DWI (Driving While Intoxicated)"

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry" I admitted.

"It's ok, it's not your fault. It's mine" he said.

I don't know what I felt at that moment, but it wasn't anger, happiness, or fear. It was peace. Although having a DWI sucks big, I felt that this would possibly help control him and tone him down on his drinking, and become more responsible.  He had spent 30 hours in jail, and had been released earlier that Monday morning. He explained that he'd have to go to court on Friday, and would most likely plead guilty, and have his license restricted for 6 months, to driving to work only.

I asked him if he remembered what had happened on Saturday and if he knew why I'd left. He said he knew that it was because of his Facebook posting, but he never gave an apology, simply stating it had been what he felt at that moment. He said he hadn't talked or seen his ex since they'd broken up over the summer.  I asked him what he wanted with us, and if he wanted to keep it going.

He simply gave me the response "Let's just play it by ear."

Play it by ear? Does it look like I want to make music??