Work is still new but..... frightening

No, not scary in the fact that it's a new environment and I'm trying to catch up and adjust to the work load. No, I'm an expert at that. I'm doing rather well on that front. I'm supposed to be upstairs on the third floor for training for the next two months. When my new boss asked me how it was going and if I was feeling lost, and I replied no, he asked me if I was ready to come downstairs to my "real desk." I hesitated and said "But I like it up there. The view is so much better. I get to see downtown"

He took it as an excuse that I didn't want to see him and wanted to avoid him as much as possible.

I grinned.

It was true.

No- what scares me are not my coworkers or even the disgusting cafeteria food. What scares me are the "clients." From my initial interview, my boss has instilled in me that the children who are in foster care are referred to as "clients" and live in "residential treatment areas" next door. The first day at lunch, I went downstairs to have lunch in the garden.  There were a variety of teenage kids on their lunch break too, and it was a bit refreshing to come within ear-shot of adolescent life again.

3 minutes later, a girl storms out into the garden screaming out expletives and death threats on another student/client/teenager.

My eyes wandered over to her as a counselor ran after her into the distance.

A few days later, I was reviewing some security logs that the officers document during their shift. One line in particular caught my eye- "Responded to Houston Police department; incident at residential treatment."

I asked my boss if he knew what had happened and he lowered his voice and said "This doesn't leave the room, but one of the kids got a hold of a knife and attempted to stab one of the counselors. They were unsuccessful thankfully, but the HPD had to be contacted."

My eyes widened at the thought.

This past week, I was talking with one of my coworkers from my department who is the facility technician. I asked him why they were changing the furniture in the treatment center (I had seen a proposal for renovations.) He said "We're planning to change all the furniture to plastic furniture, made of one piece. One of the kids got the leg off of a wooden table and hit one of the counselors in the face, and as a result, lost her eye."

I gasped in astonishment.

When I initially interviewed for the position, I knew I wouldn't be working with kids. I was a bit disappointed because I wanted to be part of something positive. I wanted to feel like I'd be working to improve the lives of these foster kids in some way.  I can't imagine what these kids go through in foster care, not being able to live with people who can love them.  It must be so difficult on their self-esteem and cause them to have so many emotional problems. I had a great vibe for the organization itself.

Not so much nowadays.  I tend to stay away from the residential treatment as much as I can and regard these kids as clients, like I was instructed to.

It helped a lot more when I noticed one of the teenage girls eying  me through her bangs one day in the cafeteria. It was definitely creepy.

I actually have violent dreams now.

Ren has a job!

Yes! It’s true. Two months after being “laid off”, yours truly has been hired by the non-profit Kids’ Center! It was quite a bumpy road; a process lasting 3 weeks.

I received a call from Human Resources on Wednesday extending the offer to join their team as the administrative assistant to the facility manager.

“Thank you. Problem is, we haven’t even discussed wages, schedule and other benefits” I told the woman from HR.

“We still need you to take a TB (Tuberculosis) Skin test, and hopefully you can have the results back by Friday so you can start on Monday. In the meantime, let me review your file and get back to you with the offer this afternoon” she said.

I was at a standstill. I had a job…… but no wages. Can I Facebook the good news? I immediately called my dad to let him know that I had both good and bad news.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“The good news is that they’ve decided to hire me. The bad news is that I have no idea what they’re willing to pay me! I’m still lost!” I said laughing.

He was extremely proud and congratulated me over and over again.

“Oh wow! You don’t know how great these news are! This is amazing! Congratulations! I am so happy!” he exclaimed. Things with my mother weren't as exciting though. "Oh that's good. So you can't babysit the girls anymore on Mondays and Tuesdays I take it?" she said.

I went to have the TB skin test administered that afternoon at a walk-in clinic at the pharmacy and later went on campus to study for a test. The HR lady called me later that afternoon as promised and began going over the benefits.

“We offer a 403B retirement savings plan (similar to 401K but for non-profit organizations) health, dental and vision insurance at low cost. 17 days of Paid Time Off a year. And I’m sure you’re waiting for the wages…..” she said.

It was better than what I had actually asked for in my application and discussed in the interview.  You can imagine my surprise. It amounted to a 12% increase from my previous salary. I actually got what I wished for.

The next day, I went into my regular job and slowly broke the news to all my colleagues and bosses. The President was saddened by the news of losing me but smiled and wished me good luck. The Executive V.P. mentioned that she was happy for the good news and let me know that I had been a wonderful asset to the company for my duration there. At the end of the day, I parted with many hugs with everyone and exchanged phone numbers as well.

One of my boss asked me if I’d be willing to come in for a couple of hours if there was ever anything extra they needed help with. I hesitated at the thought.  “I can’t promise I’ll be able to. This will be a full time job, and I go to school full time as well, including the weekends. But you can always call. I may not answer right away, but I will get back to you.” I hope she got the hint. They’ve been doing fine without me anyway for two months, so I can’t imagine what they’d be calling me about.

But hold on- it gets more complicated!

I went on Friday to get the TB skin test evaluated before going to turn in paperwork for the new job and was given bad news: I tested positive.

How can this be??

The physician told me the next step would be to see my doctor and be referred for chest x-rays. When I told him it was for a pending job, he gave me a few numbers of doctors around the area that might be able to see me in today. I called a few, but most of them charged over $70 for the visit, and who knows how much more for the x-rays. I called HR and my new boss and told them the bad news. My new boss told me to come in anyway for the meeting with HR to see what they could refer, but that this in no way meant I couldn’t work with them. It just meant that the process may be delayed, and if I really had the disease, I’d have to get treatment.

“It’s okay. I went through it too when I first came here. Don’t you worry” he reassured me.

Oh thank God. I was scared this would mean no job!

HR told me this would push my start date back by a week if I got x-ray results on time. They just needed a yes or no on whether I had TB because there were kids around the center, obviously.

I drove to a low-cost clinic down south and walked in to see a doctor.  I paid a total of $55 for the visit AND the x-ray which came back negative. The doctor gave me a note to give to my employer and almost 3 hours later, I was free again. I called HR to let them know the good news, and she scheduled me back to come see her on Monday and finish the paperwork then.  We didn’t discuss if I’d be able to start on Tuesday, but I’m hoping that’s the case. I’d hate to waste an entire week.

So there’s the conclusion to a very….. chaotic week. I’m hoping this weekend will be good.

Don't think about him!

They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new.

Personally, that doesn't work for me. I tried it once, and my mind was still connected to the past, so I stopped it from going anywhere. If my heart's not in it, I'm not going to move on with a new person. I'm just going to mess around with them. No pun intended.... or not......

For me, it's better to disconnect myself completely. Emotionally, physically and technologically as well.

Getting away from Facebook and holding myself back from calling Sebastian is probably one of the most effective ways to separate myself from him. If I don't see what he's doing, then I simply don't think about him. I haven't ventured into the world yet because I know I'm not ready, but I'm a bit excited for that day to come.

Today I went in for a testing session that the Kids's Center needed me to complete prior to my second interview tomorrow. I went into a staffing firm that tested me for my proficiency with Excel 2003. Pfft. Old school. There were 30 questions, and it consisted of working with a sample spreadsheet giving me directions on completing simple tasks like sums, averages, fixing margins, adding new cells, bolding, changing font, etc. I felt pretty confident even though there were a few questions that I'd never encountered before. However, I was able to handle the gist of it, and I'm sure my interviewer will see that I know how to work with Excel.

I called my interviewer to confirm my appointment for tomorrow, and he told me to come in a little bit earlier to review the load of questions he'd asked last week before meeting with his boss, the CFO. He had told me last week that she wasn't the one to give the final word on the hiring process (that was up to HR after they'd review his recommendations) but he wanted potential candidates to meet with her to get to know each other. That sounds promising right?

So here's to tomorrow. I hope I nail this job. I need something new.