All throughout High School, I had a crush on 2 guys: Erick and Daniel. With the help of myspace, I was able to reconnect with them a few years later. I moved out of California and did the whole pen pal thing with Erick for about a year while I was away in France. I'm talking about the real pen pal deal here- paper, pen and postage. The following year, I went to California for the easter weekend and we went to a party with my friends. Nothing happened. We were just friends, and I had grown out of the silly crush a long time ago. He was apparently interested in my best friend. They did get together, but it didn't lead anywhere.
Daniel, had a thing going for me as well, but we never dated. I managed to makeout with him just a couple of times at school while I had a boyfriend (from another school) and kept it secret for years. We used to have steamy conversations online, very much like the ones BEG and I share today. When we graduated, we started talking again, and one weekend while my parents were away, I invited him over. This resulted in us having sex, which I thought could actually lead somewhere. I liked him, and he liked me, right?
Wrong. I had been the victim of a one night stand.
I tried to wait for him at work as he got off, but he just seemed so cold. We kissed, but it didn't mean anything to him. Soon after, I began dating someone, and for 4 years put him aside and slowly forgot about him.
I can't remember how exactly we got into contact again in the following years, but our conversations were always trite. We never really had anything to share, so we didn't communicate much. I never saw him after that one night, and I didn't mind it anymore.
A few years later, I found out he had had a daughter with a girlfriend, but were no longer together. I congratulated him and told him I was very happy for his new life. Some time later, I received this message from him:
I was on your page and I was reading your blogs and got to the point about your morals and mistakes and heartbreaks and what not and I began to think and I realized that I was a real jerk to you Ren and you didn’t deserve it. You were nice and real cool to me and I was an ass and I’m sorry. I know that it’s been many years and my apology probably doesn’t mean much to you considering that we aren’t really friends anymore but I’m hoping that this letter might change that . I would really like to be really good friends with you again and catch up on all your experiences with you and then see what happened. Well I hope I get something back if not I understand once again I’m sorry for the way I acted but I was young and naive please forgive me.
His letter caught me by surprise and I felt like he had done enough to merit a response so I wrote back :
It’s very thoughtful of you to come around so many years later. Personally, I had dismissed it and put whatever happened to rest. I can understand what happened was probably just a rebel stage that you went through.... I know- boys will be boys, and I understand that more than ever now. At this time, it was more of a forgive and forget ordeal. I don’t hold any grudges against you- I’ve moved on.
Thanks a lot for your apology though. It did mean a great deal. Hit me up whenever you're in need of a conversation!
We exchanged a few emails back and forth talking about our current situations, families and work. But afterwards, the emails went unanswered, so I left it aside again.
Every so often, he'll write or post a comment to see how I'm doing, but I don't get excited or giddy as I did when I was that 17 year-old gullible girl. I figure it's his way of seeing if I'm still interested in him and if we can maybe "get together" as he had mentioned he could pay for my ticket to Cali if I ever wanted to get back.
Hmmm...... yeah, no thanks.