Saturday, December 19, 2009

Bare it all men!

Oh what a night.......

To celebrate my 25th birthday upon my return from Europe, my girlfriends decided to give me the ultimate night out- A night that I never plan to forget- that is if I could remember all of it.

I had decided to make plans with my friends for the weekend because Sebastian would be out on vacation in California from Friday till Wednesday. My friend Jennifer (once a colleague) asked me if I wanted to go out to drinks and then to a club on friday night. I know they're into Latin music, and since I'm not, I hesitated to accompany them. She gave me the name of the place where they planned to go, and I did some research online to find out what kind of club it was exactly. I found this link which didn't show anything on the front page. But it didn't take me long to look up on the header and read "Houston Hottest Male Strippers." I quickly texted her back.

Ren: LA BARE is a strip club isn't it????

Jennifer: jajajajajaja

Ren: Well, I'll play dumb and say I didn't know what it was

Jennifer: Lol. Better. So we're going?

Ren: Yeah sure. Where do we meet?

Jennifer: Wooohooo ur casa?

Ren: Sure. I'm in between anyways.

Right after work, I went to Sebastian's to pick him up and take him to the airport. I wished him farewell and began driving back to his place so I could catch up on my shows, when he called me 15 minutes later.

Sebastian: Oh my god I feel so stupid. I screwed up bad Ren.

Ren: What do you mean? What's wrong?

Sebastian: I don't know how I did this, but my flight was yesterday. And there's no refunds so I just lost all my money.

I felt terrible. He had been looking forward to this trip for a long time as he hadn't seen his parents or friends in three years. At the same moment I felt a dilemma coming into play- I wanted to console him, but I didn't want to cancel on my friends (and nooooo, the strippers aren't what enticed me.) I went back to the airport to pick him up and drive him back to his apartment. Once in the car, Sebastian said "I'm sorry. I didn't mess up your plans tonight did I?" I quickly shot him a pity look and said "No sweetie, you didn't. I already made plans with the girls and I can't cancel on them." "Oh ok" he answered.

I stayed with him for about an hour until I headed back to my place to clean up and await to greet my friends. We soon started talking and drinking beer- whereas I went straight for the vodka in my freezer, made myself two "screwdrivers" and the girls requested "taconazos" (beer and tequila in a shot glass.)

Most of us, with the exception of the driver, were already tipsy by the time we left my apartment, and quickly made our way to the club. Since the girls had VIP cards, they requested I be brought in for free as it was my birthday. We took our seat near the front and I was handed out dollar bills by my friends.

I was nervously giggling the entire time. Actually, I remember laughing so hard my head hurt. Most of the night ended up happening very fast, but I do remember being pushed onto the stage and my head rammed into their crotches. One of the guys slowly danced on me and placed my hand on his chest.


As he blew into my ear and neck, I couldn't help but feel a little excited, but not entirely turned on. He kissed me as I placed the dollars in his briefs.

They never got completely nude. They were mainly dancing provocatively in their briefs, or humping the girls that did request lap dances. I wasn't interested in it so I passed up on that.

By closing time, my friends decided to get something to eat at a taco stand nearby and make our way to an after hours club. We made it to the taco stand, ate and mysteriously ran into Jennifer's boyfriend there. My friends think he was spying on her because he didn't acknowledge her greeting. He seemed peeved.

One of the girls wanted to keep drinking and suggested we go back to my apartment to get the rest of the alcohol from my freezer. At this point, I don't remember going up the stairs, or drinking more, but I do remember emptying out my purse to switch bags. And somewhere along the night, I lost my paycheck.

I remember getting into Jennifer's car to drive out to the club, but apparently I fell asleep in the car. At about 4am, Jennifer wakes me to drop me off at my apartment again, and says "We're home!" I ask what happened and she told me that we had to take one of the girls back home because she started work in a few hours that morning, but somewhere along the way, got lost and went around in circles. What should have been one intersection over ending up taking us to the next town. That's how drunk the other girl was.

The next morning, I awoke at 10am feeling queasy and with a bit of heartburn. My stomach started doing funny things and quickly sent me running to the bathroom with a case of the sh*ts. Does anyone else get this after they've drunk??

Soon after, I started looking for my paycheck and couldn't find anywhere. I honestly could not remember where I placed it and had to tell my boss at work on Monday that I'd lost it over the weekend. When asked how I had lost it, I simply stated the obvious "I don't know" while turning to my colleague to admit "I was so drunk I can't remember what the hell I did with it!"

I didn't tell Sebastian what I had done that Friday night as he hadn't asked me where I'd gone with Jennifer. However, during the course of the weekend, he asked me if I'd ever gone to a male strip club and I said yes. Surprised he said "Really...??" as he stripped and slowly started gyrating his hips and groin at me "Yeah. But they keep their briefs on when they dance, so it's no big deal." I answered. "Yeah, the girls do too." he replied.


  1. Loving the new look, Ren. Not loving these horrible pictures, however. Them aside, I enjoyed this post.
    Just spruced up my page actually:

  2. Sounds like a fun night Ren! Hope it was a good birthday! What is on the stripper's under-roos? Is it Spiderman?