Thursday, March 15, 2012

Sometimes you need tough love

During my difficult roller coaster of emotions with the IT Pilot, my pen pal Ozzie was ever so present to lend out an ear. For someone who already had a girlfriend, he sure seemed interested in helping me make the right decisions for myself. Even if he was at times harsh and a jerk.

Sometimes you need tough love.

A few days of silence between the IT Pilot and I told me everything I needed to know. It was over, and I was going to have to make that phone call to confirm it.

I called him and he said the same thing as before- he didn't see it going long term with me. He said I was a good person and he still wanted to be friends and hang out, but didn't see it going past that.

Why the f*** do guys do that??
Oh, to fuck with us. Literally and figuratively.

I broke down and called my girlfriend bawling my eyes out. I felt so alone. There was no one to turn to. I had no support group and it was becoming so hard to remain optimistic when things went badly. When would I find my happiness?

I couldn't face work the next day and called my boss to say I wouldn't be coming in. Instead, I called Matt, The Marine, an ever reliable FWB that I'd met the previous year.

The Marine offered to come by, and I told him I wasn't a pretty sight to see. I had been crying all evening, and my eyes were bloodshot, and I had no intentions of sleeping with him. I told me he didn't expect anything from me, but that he could come regardless (no pun intended) if I wanted the company.

So I accepted his offer and he drove almost an hour to spend time with me. I had rented four movies that night to help me get through the breakup and keep my mind busy on something else. A few hours later, my marine showed up and I flung my arms around him tightly to try to control my tears.

We watched two movies that night and around 5:00 a.m, a storm came in and forced him to stay the night.

Well played Mother Nature.... well played.

The Marine and I slowly began making out and retreated back into my bedroom where we got into bed and, well..... You can guess what happened next.


Though it was nothing that I was expecting, and no feelings were involved, The Marine had stayed behind for me, to console as a "nice friend."

The next morning, I grew restless laying in bed with The Marine sleeping next to me. I woke up around 11:00 am and continued watching my movies while he continued sleeping. Around 3:00 pm, I simply couldn't take it anymore. He had to leave. The IT pilot was set to come by after work around 5:30 to pick up his stuff, and I needed The Marine to GTFO, like, right now.

A couple of hours later, the IT pilot knocked on my door with my things in his hands. My swollen eyes had reduced almost completely, but he could tell that I wasn't doing too well.

"Did you go to work today?" he asked.
"No, I stayed home. I rented movies and just watched everything" I said as he turned around to see the four DVD cases on the floor.

He sighed and said "Please don't miss work because of me."
"I don't plan to anymore, I'm going back tomorrow" I reassured him.

I quickly glanced into the bag of things he had brought me and noticed some things were missing.

"You forgot my board game" I said.
"Oh shit. Where was it?" he asked.
"In your living room" I responsed.
"Ok, I'll get it to you next time" he replied.
"No rush. It can wait" I reassured him. I wasn't ready to see him anytime soon.

I hugged him one final time as he got ready to leave, and said goodbye. He left quietly and walked down the stairs. About halfway thru, I reopened the door and called him back upstairs. He came back looking confused, and I stared deep into his eyes, with a look of coyness, persuasion and perplexity.

One more hug, and I sent him on his way again. A second time, I called him back up the stairs and he came again to see what I wanted. Complete silence. I didn't have anything to say, and nothing I could say would show him how much I liked him and wanted to be involved in a real relationship with him.

We hugged tightly and I said goodbye again as he left once more.

A third time, I snuck a peek out of my door and called him back. This time, I knew what I was doing, and I was waiting for him to make the first move. We held each other tightly, my head pressed into his chest and my hands pressed into his back. I slowly turned my head up, and with one look at each other, we began making out with an uncontrollable urge that overtook us completely by surprise and exciting arousal.

We had a crazy, sexually-driven, and mad make out session which quickly pushed us into my bedroom, where only a few hours earlier had been shared with The Marine. We tore each other's clothes off, as he threw me on the bed, kissing me deeply and caressing me everywhere.

Oooh shit......

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