Why are all the men here?

I got a text from the Gorgeous Guy  last Friday; he's a guy I went on a couple of dates with late this summer. After the third date, I never heard back from him and it didn't bother me because I had realized we didn't have anything in common. He was a party animal with a PhD in Engineering, and we just didn't really connect. Conversations were a bit painful, but when I heard from him again, I couldn't help but think if he had the right number.

See, that's what I do. When a guy texts me out of the blue, months after we've last spoken, I always think "Did he text the right number? We haven't spoken in ages!"

So I'll reply, just to say hello, thinking it's one of those mass texts. But then a reply comes back, and it's obvious the person remembers you.

At the time, I was talking to Sebastian who was on his way over to my place for the weekend. I get Gorgeous Guy's text asking me how my evening is going, and I respond saying "Long time no hear. Staying Home. I'm sick."

He ends up calling me on my personal cell as I'm talking to Sebastian on my work cell; I don't answer. So he sends me another text asking me to pick up, but I respond saying that I can't because I'm on the other line. A few minutes later, I let Sebastian go and call my Gorgeous Guy back.

We talk for about 15 minutes, and he fills me in on some of the things he's been doing since this summer. "Travelling. I went to Qatar for a few weeks"

I forgot that he was a traveller. I guess that's the only similarity we actually share. He tells me of his plans for Halloween the next night, and I tell him I'm going to midtown for a pub crawl. Since he lives in the area, he tells me to text him to let him know where I'll be to meet up.

I never did. I was so sick that night that Sebastian and I went back home around midnight.

The next day on Sunday, I notice his missed call, but don't call back because I'm still hanging out with Sebastian. I know it may be bad for me to "ignore" call backs when we're together, but I don't feel comfortable having a conversation within ear shot of Sebastian with some guy I dated "recently."

So earlier this week, he messages me on facebook asking how my Halloween was, and he shows me a picture of what he was.

Nice. Considering the guy has a spectacular physique.

Then he mentions that there is a "Huge super important dynamo game on Sunday! You should come to it!"

Hmmm..... nah. I mean, the first game we went to was actually pretty fun, but I'm not a big soccer fan. I don't believe in spending money for something I'm not really into. That's like telling someone to spend $40 for a David Guetta concert when they don't listen to Electro house.

Actually, that would be Sebastian. We're going to one of his concerts in 2 weeks. I'm excited about that. And the only reason why Sebastian is going is because I'm going, and he's very open to new things.

Then yesterday, one of my UPS reps came over. The guy I had a crush on for about 6 months, with which we kept rescheduling dates because we always planned them too far out, stopped by unexpectedly at my office yesterday to "say hi."

Damnit! Why couldn't these guys come by sooner!

Aw..... he's jealous....

And that would be BEG.

You see, we're not dating anymore. Even though he said he'd wait for me for a while in case I changed my mind and wanted to pursue something with him, I knew I wouldn't commit to him.

So about 2 weeks later or so, he started dating someone else. Julia. I haven't met her, and I really don't want to either.

We still talk daily on Aim and through texts, but our attention spans have changed. He'll still surprise me with a "Hello" as I start my work day, but it's definitely not the same as it was before, and he "won't cheat on Julia" as he's told me repeatedly.

Is he worried that I may be a teasing threat?

Anyway, I haven't come out to admit that I'm going to Europe with my "ex-boyfriend-that-I'm-currently-in-an-open-relationship-with." I tend to keep that stuff private. The people who have noticed that "we may be an item" are the friends that have seen us out and about together.... like, for Halloween, or dining, or shopping. Or partying it up.

SO- today, I got my period! (read Plan B for details) and I mentioned to BEG that I was cramping.

BEG:  Maybe you should stop having periods, I think that helps.

Me: Yeah, but I'm glad I have one! LOL. That was actually pretty funny.

BEG: Why are you so glad you have one? LOL, have you gotten some recently ;-)

Me: Cause that's how we know we're not pregnant. It makes me wonder why some women would prefer to have 4 periods a year - heard about those pills? How will they know if they're not pregnant until it's too late?

BEG: So you HAVE! ;-) Very awesome. Are you dating the guy or just "relieving" stress?


I tried to be coy and change the subject. I didn't want to..... flaunt or brag.

ME: Huh? No comment?

BEG: How about this, just tell me if you're dating a guy or not. I'll assume the rest.

Me: Well, if I say yes or no, you'll know.

BEG:  How was it? :-) Details please.

Me: How was what? The sex?

BEG: Yeah

Me.: Painful. LOL. But you knew this already.

BEG:  True. I'm slightly jealous, LOL, I mean, I woudln't cheat on Julia but still, wish we did something before hand.

What's this I hear? Wishful thinking?

The guy that stares

I go to my college campus to use their wifi to blog. I don't have the internet at my new place for two reasons:

1. I insist on living a frugal life. Call me cheap, but I don't want to pay $40 a month until absolutely necessary when I start school again in the spring.
2. I would waste a tremendous amount of time each night browsing the net, and hardly get any reading done.

So with that, I have to drive the one block to my campus and set up in their commons area. For a while now, I've been going about twice a week, and have since noticed a shady character roaming around the hallways.

"Do you want me to come with you one day and make my precense known?" asked Sebastian.

"No, it's too far, plus you get out really late" I answered.

Though I admit it was incredibly sweet [enter gag reflex here] I resist to play the damsel in distress  as often as possible. Who knows, one day, I might really need to take him up on those favors but will have exhausted all my chances.

No, I will call upon you when extremely necessary.

So with that, I continue reading and writing on my laptop, all the while seeing this guy out of the corner of my eye staring at me as he walks wearing a backpack.

I'm usually there for at least two hours, yet I always see this guy just walking from one end of the building to the other.

Doesn't he have a class? What's he doing just strolling here?

I've crossed paths and glances a few times, and it makes me the most uncomfortable because he gives one of those nods as if to say "Hey, I'll be right over."

So yesterday, as I was reading through some blogs, I see him come up to my table. I can't remember how the conversation started.

Him: So do you have a class here?

Me: Um, no. I don't come to this campus.

Him: Oh, so do you go to U of H?

Me: Um, not yet.

Him: So what's your major?

Me: Accounting.

Him: Oh, I took an accounting class last semester.

Me: [silence]

Him: So where are you from?

Me: From around here.

Him: No I mean, where were you born?

Ok, this is starting to creep me out. I'm not about to tell my life story to a creepy stranger.

Me: California.

I lie. I feel like saying "France" will give him an even bigger urge to carry on a conversation.

Him: Oh that's cool. [silence] Yeah, I'm just waiting for my class to start. It's at 8:30.

I look at the clock. It's 7:30. And he's been roaming the campus since I got here at 6:00.

Me: You have a class that starts at 8:30?

Him: Yeah.

B*llshit. No classes start that late. The last class starts at 7:00

When he realized that I was more interested in my reading than talking to him, he quietly made his exit and continued roaming the halls, where I soon lost track of him.

At about 8:30, I decided to go back home and headed towards the front door.

What do I see?  The same guy exiting the building at exactly 8:30.

Huh. So where's that class he was telling me about?

Does this.....make me "narrowminded"??

I got a message from this random dude today saying he felt we had the same interests and wanted to talk. I checked his page, which didn't seem to detail any of our similarities. He wrote:

"Want to add. Your page needs like 2 forms of ID. lol Request and I'll make good on my word of QUALITY... :) "

I'm not one to add people just for the hell of it. I don't use myspace to meet guys or "network." My friend's list is rather small, and I prefer it that way because it's more personal. I know everyone by first and last name, and if that's not the case, that's because I found you or you found me due to our backgrounds (either French or Chilean), because I enjoy what you write (this is for you Stephanie) or because we met in person and then connected through Myspace.

I responded to him with the following:
"thanks for the kind words, but unfortunately, i won't add random people to my profile. my friends are the ones i know on a first and last name basis and also due to our nationalities. sorry you don't fit the criteria. but thanks for stopping by."

Realistically, I wasn't interested in adding a stranger to my list. I did that a few times at first, and there was awkward silence cause we never said anything else past the 2nd week. I guess he got pissed, and it's not like I'm taking it to heart, but this is what he responded:

"You didn't know your real friends at first. You had to get to know them. That's silly. Same as using race for bullshit criteria. I'm mixed -hispanic and black. If that bothers you then your narrow-mindness is a weakness. Deuce"

Is it just me or was he calling me a racist? I responded saying that I had no intentions on getting to know someone who completely turns on you cause they can't accept your reason.

I'm pretty sure anyone else would have ignored it, or just added the damn jerk, but since he'd written twice, I felt I owed him an explanation. It's just that it's a scary "world out there" and I'm trying my best to weed out the crazy nutcases who innocently pretend to share the same interest.

Any suggestions for the next time around?

Is it polite to......

Is it polite to offer information for weight loss when the person doesn't even mention it?

That's what happened to me.

So I'm not the slimmest person out there, and I know that I have extra pounds on me, but what really bugs me is when people openly suggest I try out a new herbal/pill remedy or diet that they've been following, when I haven't even mentioned anything about losing weight.

I don't talk about diets with these people. I'm currently comfortable with my own weight, or else, I would have done something about it.

Plus, the guys don't seem to mind. I think I win them over with my personality. That, and the big boobs seem to help out too. (I don't flaunt though. I've never worn a low cut shirt in my life. I'm very conservative in the way I dress)

Anyway, today, my secretary asks me "Not to get in your business or seem rude, but what size pants do you wear?" "Comfortably? I can wear a size 13."

See that's the problem I have with pants sometimes- or shirts for that matter. I have thin legs, but a belly and am top heavy. In other words, I think I resemble a chicken.

Even though I don't have an ass. I wish I did.....

That's me and my cousin in NYC this past April.

So my receptionist tells me that her daughter started this new treatment with  a doctor and a nutritionist. The daughter has a lot of clothes that don't really fit her anymore because she has lost 10 lbs so far. At first, I'm confused.

Is she giving me clothes or trying to refer me to a nutrionist?

 About an hour later, her daughter comes in and I say I notice some change on her. She's a police officer, so everytime I saw her, she'd be wearing her vest which made her look like a tiny hen.

When I was actively dating, I'd put "a few extra pounds" on my profile. When the guys would meet me, they'd all say the same thing: "You're not heavy. You're normal."

Thanks for the compliment.

I just wish the ones who really did use "A few extra pounds" were not "obese" like I saw quite a lot.

So the daughter starts going on about the treatment, and tells me it's actually a pill that she takes to suppress her appetite, and all she did was to eat fruits and vegetables for the first two weeks. In two weeks, she lost 10 lbs. Great for her.

So she gives their business card and tells me to expect to spend $200 for the first month and $50 for every month plus the pills as needed.

Ouch! In case you didn't know, I shop at the thrift store!

I, for one, don't want to use pills. I did buy them at one point, right when I had turned 18. Then I read all the side effects and warnings, and that was enough to make me go back to the store and return them. To me, pills are either placebos, or drugs with the same effect as speed which makes you burn calories faster. So it makes me a little uncomfortable when I have to say that I don't want to follow a pill treatment because

1. I don't have that kind of money
2. Don't believe in it (or else, I would have gone to GNC and bought myself a pack)
3. Don't think it's safe (if it hasn't been evaluated by the FDA)

My dad has always told me that the only way to lose weight is by cutting out junk food and exercising every day.

I've only done the first.

Happy Halloween!

So this Halloween season was a bit of a downer. I got sick a few days before and spent most of my time in bed. I had a terrible runny nose and was sneezing and coughing up a storm the entire time. Nonetheless, I managed to get dressed up with Sebastian and take my sisters trick-o-treating, and then went on to Midtown were a group of friends were already bar hopping.

It was terribly cold, and I was incredibly tired. We showed up at the bar probably around 10:30, met my friends and just mingled. It was packed. At one point we went to the bathroom and once we got back to our spot didn't see none of the people we were with. Was it safe to assume that we'd been ditched?

Around midnight, I began to feel drowsy and asked Sebastian if we could call it a night. Like the gentleman that he is, he agreed and we went back to my place. On the way back, he asked what time the Rocky Horror Picture Show was playing.

"Midnight" I said.

"Do you want to go?" he asked.

"Not really, I'm very tired. But if you want to go, we can go" I mentioned.

"No, it's okay."

The next day, we had a great late breakfast out on my patio. The sun was shining just right, and there was a cold fall breeze blowing through. We made a mess of my apartment and spent the rest of the afternoon just lounging around. Around 6 or so, we started cleaning up and  then went back to his place where he prepared Unagi Don- which is eel with rice. It was great.

At the end of the night, Sebastian said "This was the best Halloween I've ever had. I've never went all out to get dressed up. I had a lot of fun!"

Enjoy the pictures!

He wants to move

Sebastian lives 30 miles from me. It doesn't seem like a lot, but I know he's not 10 minutes away. Usually, it takes me about 40 minutes to get to his place. And when done 2-3 times a week, it adds up on my gas costs.

As I was talking to Sebastian one night, I told him "I wish you didn't live so far! It takes forever to get to your place. I love my area. I've got Walmart, Target, Randall's, HEB, (2 grocery stores) and CVS and Walgreens within ONE block of my apartment, you know that!"

"I knoooow........" he said "whiningly". "Ok, I guess I'll move out once my lease expires and my job moves back into downtown. There really won't be a reason to be all the way up North."

After Hurricane Ike in September 2008, J.P. Morgan Chase Bank moved some of their departments from downtown into the North after the building on Main Street sustained heavy damage against the Category 1 hurricane. One year later, and they are still at their offsite.

Sebastian continued saying "And who knows, maybe I'll even move into your complex and then we'll be thisclose. Your apartment is sooooo much better than mine."

Or we could move in together........

I thought about the prospect. One master bedroom and an extra room to accomodate our stuff. It would definitely save us on rent right?

I quietly mulled it over but didn't say anything out loud. I feel that as soon as I inquire about something that is very beneficial and positive to me, it turns out to be a complete negative pull for him.

We spend most of our weekends together now, and if we didn't live so far from each other, we could possibly see each other more often; even if he does go to the gym during the week, I could still spend time at his place doing some writing until he comes back that night.....

He has even suggested we work out together.

And this morning, I found myself thinking about it again, just to kill time.

Then I realized, No. It would most likely not happen. While I enjoy his company, and he enjoys mine (or at least I hope he does!) I can't help but feel a little anxiety to know that the freedom would be gone if we lived together. I would no longer be able to leave late at night at a moment's notice. In my opinion, there'd be boundaries, and certain rules that must be set prior to moving in.

However, I don't feel like I'd be the nagging one. Even if we  happened to turn into an exclusive item some day, it wouldn't bother me to clean up after the both of us. It's actually relaxing to me, almost therapeutic.

Hmmm.... interesting thought....... I guess we'll cross that bridge if we ever get to that canal.