Thursday, September 3, 2009

So he's a pushover?

That was me too. Maybe it still is. I don't know, but the blue eyed guy sure as hell seems to be. My friend told me he was probably just being overly nice at the beginning until I let my guard down and felt comfortable enough with him so he can do a full 180. Or is it 360. Wait no, that's not right, cause if it was so, then he'd be right where he started.

My friend once told me that everyone is the biggest hypocrite in the first 3 months of a relationship. It's all perfection at first. Then the inner demons slowly start to seep out and there's no holding back from the person he or she really is.

The thing is- I know I've changed. I'm no longer bitter towards men, and I am more attentive to their needs. Yet, I'm shocked when a man acts that way towards me. The blue eyed guy texts me practically every morning to fill me in on what's going on, and I feel an obligation to respond. Sometimes, I really don't have anything to say, so I respond half-heartedly.

Most nights, we'll chat online, and it sort of kills it for me. I wish there was more on the phone conversations, but then again, I'm too tired or not willing to get on the phone for anyone but Sebastian. Two hours on the phone with him is enough. Where have those days gone? Oh wait- 1998, back in middle school.

We managed to get together for lunch one day. He decided to take a longer lunch and meet me at Taco Cabana which was right around the corner from my work. It was a nice lunch...... but we ran out of things to say at one point. I started looking around me trying to think of topics off the top of my head. He complimented me on my wear, which was quite a shock. This guy wears a cap, black tshirts and jeans. Every single day. So I really don't expect him to have much fashion sense. He asked when we could get together again, and I told him most likely next week as I was going to be moving this weekend *and spending most of my free time with Sebastian*.

The blue eyed guy to me is the type of guy I would have wanted back in high school. He's just too predictable for me. I know when I'm going to get a text from him. I know the next time I'm going to see him. I know when we're gonna chat again. Because it's all up to me.

The ball is always in my court. And I'm getting bored.

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