To my readers

I will be on vacation beginning Tuesday, November 24, and returning Sunday December 6th.

I will be visiting London, Paris, Marseille and Rome with Sebastian: the boyfriend-turned-ex-turned-open-relationship-turned-boyfriend-again?? I guess you can read the past blogs under his tags to understand our relationship better.

In the meantime, I'd like to thank the following top cities for continuing to follow my blog, and leaving a comment here and there. It puts a BIG SMILE on my face when I get to read your comments because it motivates me to continue writing. I appreciate the time you spend reading past blogs and commenting on things you agree or disagree. It lets me see your points of views and allows me to be more open minded when I read your opinions.

USA:
San Antonio, Austin, Houston, Racine, San Francisco, Alameda, Modesto, Minneapolis, Hopkins, Dayton, Nashville, New York, Bourbonnais, Chicago, Salt Lake City, Springfield , Eden Prairie

UK:
Bootle, London, Canterbury, Huyton-with-Roby, Stapleford

CANADA:
Ottawa, Mont-Royal

AUSTRALIA:
Melbourne, Sydney

JAMAICA:
Kingston
NEW ZEALAND:
Auckland

JAPAN:
Makuhari

Because of you, Life is great!

Oh crap....

Last night, as I set my birth control pill on the counter, I took a soda out of the fridge in order to swallow it. The soda decided to be a b*tch and spray all over which led me to quickly get it into my sink behind me. When I turned back to take my pill, it was nowhere in sight. I looked around, down, under the paper towels. Zilch.

Then- to my worst thought, I got on all fours and peeked between my kitchen stove and counter.

A tiny blue pill lay at a distance.

Taunting me.

I fought hard for a good ten minutes, but I ended up shoving it under the stove by accident.

I guess I won't have a bun in my oven- literally.

Oh no you didn't!

I spent a total of 18 hours with Sebastian this weekend, and I gotta say I actually got a bit peeved at a few statements he made.

We went to the David Guetta Concert on Friday night, and even though I was really looking forward to it and it was GREAT music, I couldn't stand up any longer. We were there from 10:30pm until about 2:30am, without sitting down for one minute (well, unless you count the bathroom...... but wait...... I squatted there too.)  There's only so much I can take in heels, and I was in real pain.

While at the concert, Sebastian got this "awesome idea" that I needed to be lifted up to be able to see over the crowd. I was fine from where I was standing. I could see the stage perfectly. So he tries to lift me and I'm wiggling cause I want him to put me down and he says "Well, lose the 8lbs and then I'll try again"

SAY WHAT?!

I was already tipsy so as soon as I heard those words, tears.

The only thing that made it better was seeing David take the stage.

Then, the next day, I asked him if he could make grilled cheese sandwich for breakfast, so he did. The sandwich ended up being quite salty because my butter was salted. When I told him this he said he hadn't realized it, and that he was used to cooking with unsalted butter, and then salting to his taste. When I told him it was pointless to salt unsalted butter (hence why they make the salted kind) he retaliated with "Well you wouldn't know, you don't know how to cook"

I walked off to my room saying "Well that was a low blow."

And we're embarking on a 12-day trip??

Well, as enthusiastic as Sebastian is about everything, and as sure as he is about us getting along because we do get along at every other moment, I can definitely sense we're going to bump heads at least twice on this trip. When I told him this, he said that I shouldn't be too preoccupied about it, else it'd affect the vacation. I just like to think of the worst first and be ready if it happens.....

But maybe he does have a point.

I MAY have snapped

I was at Wal-Mart the other day by myself, but it definitely didn't feel like it. I had Sebastian's conscience riding with me the entire time, and it really bugged me.

Sebastian likes to give input on the foods I should eat. No artificial ingredients, no fats, no oils and no over-processed meats.

I know he's doing it because he knows what's best for me and my health, but everytime I hear someone telling me what I shouldn't eat, it just brings back memories of my mom controlling everything I ever ate.

And I know it's very hypocritical to become upset on his advice when I'm the one who's overweight, but I can't stand it when all the fun is being taken away from eating some good foods; or at least what I consider to be good.

• I wanted to buy bologna because I hadn't eaten it since I was in High School. Then Sebastian came into my head and told me that it was overprocessed food with bits of every meat imaginable. So I bought Turkey meat instead.
• I wanted to buy Iceberg lettuce, but chose the red leaf lettuce instead when he mentioned once that the Iceberg lettuce offered no nutrional value at all. It was basically eating water out of a bag.  
• All American Cheese. Nope, didn't happen. Opted for mozzarella instead.
• Forget eating ANYTHING with high fructose corn syrup, which is a majority of all things.

That's my biggest pet peeve.

"Don't tell me what I shouldn't eat." I said

"Ok, ok. I won't. From now on, you can eat whatever you want" he replied.

A guy I dated for about a month took me out to dinner a while back. I made the mistake of voicing out loud my desire to order an apetizer and a meal.

"You're going to eat all of that?" he asked

Well, I guess I won't now.

I didn't order the apetizer. And I don't know if I was full from the food, or if I was just embarassed for suggesting two things, but I didn't even finish my meal.

Conversation between Ren and BEG

[Remember that BEG is a guy I dated for almost 2 months right after I broke up with Sebastian over the summer. We didn't have sex but went to 3rd base. Him not me. To date, he's still holding it against me.]

Ren:: WHAT else have you been up to?

BEG: Not much, just working really. You? Any dates?

Ren: Uh... what do you mean? dates? like new guys?

BEG: Yeah. or original ones.

Ren: Noooooo

BEG: What's with the long nooooo?

Ren: No new guys. You were the last one! lol

BEG: Yeah. I'm so amazing I kind of ruin everyone else. I understand.

Ren: Hahahaah. yeah, ok. Whatever makes you ride high.....

BEG: ;-) Thanks for letting me believe

Maybe I should finally shoot him down now for sounding so arrogant..... I hate the way he continues to make it sound like I haven't been getting some.

Ren: No, I'm with someone

BEG: Huh?

Priceless.

BEG: So you are seeing someone?

Ren: Yep

BEG: When did you meet him? Why didn't you just say so?

Ren: Cause I don't flaunt

BEG: But I asked. It's not flaunting if I ask.

Ren: Have you made it official with your girl? People know that she's your gf?

BEG: Yeah

Why do you still have "single" and pictures kissing your last girlfriend on your myspace  then?

Ren: See then that's straight, but with me, it was just..... what's the word.... unclear....

BEG: It was unclear or is unclear?

Ren: Vague; I haven't given it much thought. I was talking to him this weekend and I told him I had talked to my bff earlier that week, and talked about him as "my friend", and that's when he corrected me and said "You mean boyfriend."

BEG: Interesting

Ren: And I told him he had never asked, and he said "I thought it was pretty obvious."

BEG: Huh. I don't know what to make of him. How much older is he? He sounds old.

Ren: He's 27

BEG: Huh. Is he skinny or fatter?

Ren: lol

BEG: What does he do for a living?

Ren: He's athletic build. He's a computer tech

BEG: Ok cool

Ren: By fatter... you meant..... in comparison to who??

BEG: To no one. In general.

Ren: Any more stats you want to share?

BEG: I dont think you're fat I told you that. And you are very attractive. So calm down emotional girl. What do you mean by stats? Like what?

Ren: Well, since we're doing a show/tell.

BEG: What do you want to know?

Ren: Tell me about your other half

BEG:  Other half is a little strong. She's a waitress. Has quirks like me.

Ren: STRONG? what do you mean by that?

BEG: Don't know what else to tell. Three oclock :-) I can go home. Ttyl

And with that, he vanished into the afternoon.

 The next day when I asked him if his girlfriend went to school, he said no and that she was a bartender at a restaurant, not a waitress.

Mmmmkay...

The following day, he suggested we do a double date. I cringed at the thought.

Imagine that much tension at a table- and neither one of our dates know anything about our past. Or at least I'm hoping his girlfriend doesn't know about me.

I said "Sure, but we can never plan with you and your work, so I don't know."

Quite honestly, I don't trust him. If he wanted to be a dick, he could easily jeopardize my relationship.

The girl who's never been kissed

Peach is a girl who's never been kissed. She's 25 years old, going on 26 in January. And she's not that ugly.

Actually, when we were in high school, we all wanted to give her a makeover. Her wardrobe was still stuck in the 80s and her hair was horrible. She was part hispanic and black. She's really light skinned, but her hair was a disaster. She had premature graying, and it was brittle almost to the point of breaking. She practically had her hair in one big braid or a bun all year long.

And she was a pushover. She was extremely nice and very intelligent, but everyone walked over her. She was so nice to the point of getting on our last nerves. And she was poor. She had to rely on other people for transportation, and because she couldn't give anything in return, she was forgotten.

My friend used to give her a ride to school in the morning. She did it for about 2 weeks and gave up because she didn't deem her cool enough to hang out with us. I can't blame her; When you're young, you're immature and you stick with the people that are like you. My friend came from a wealthy family and didn't want to be stuck with a poor girl in our group. Plus, this girl was very innocent. She practically had virgin ears, and we always had to watch our mouths. What's fun about lunch period when you can't make lewd jokes?

Peach, found me on facebook, and as I could expect, she was still the same. She was stuck working the same crap ass job at Kmart, while attending University. She lived at home helping her mom with her siblings, and she didn't have a car. My guesses are she helped her family financially. She's about to graduate next year with her bachelor's and I'm hoping she can get a real job and make a life for herself; although I don't see her making a fortune with a Sociology degree.

I can't help but wonder if the reason why she's still dateless and a virgin is because of her relationship with God. She's very spiritual and turns to God for everything. I agree that some of it can be a drag to a guy, hell, it was a bit of a downer when I dated a very religious Catholic. He would cut our dates short to go to mass in the evenings.

WTF?

Is it a turn off when you meet someone and you have to be careful with your words? At this point, all I can assume is that she'll have to meet someone from church. Then again, some guys may appear to be completely innocent, when most of them want sex.

I don't think I've ever been this embarassed

I went to visit my cousin's facebook page to leave him a birthday wish. I didn't expect him to reply, and when he did, I decided to visit some of his pictures. It looked like he'd gotten bit by the travelling bug also because he had a photo album of a trip to Korea.

I started browsing and came across a picture of a young guy in one of the thumbnails and clicked on it. He was pretty attractive. So I went and left "Wowwww. Where can I get me one of those?" as a comment.

I continued browsing the rest of the pictures, looking at the other people, all the while wondering what my cousin was doing in Korea and who these strangers were. It appeared that he was a guide or a chaperone because all the young people were wearing white tshirts, like part of a group. Then I noticed the smiles. And the faces. And I came across another picture of the cute guy where he was waving.

And I noticed the fingers. Small and stubby.

Oh shit. I just made a "hot compliment" to a mentally disabled person.

Oh damn.

I rushed to the original picture to delete my comment and pray that my cousin hadn't seen it.

A few days later, my cousin came back with and left "what were you talking about???" on my wall.

Apparently, he had received an email notification that I'd left a comment on the picture. So even though the comment was no longer on the original picture, he'd still read it in his inbox.

I turned red as a tomato.

I didn't have the balls to answer.

LADIES: I need your help please!

My male colleague told me that his cousin's doctor had prescribed her a pill so that she wouldn't get her period during her honeymoon because she had calculated that it would come right around that time.

As you may remember, I'm going to Europe next week, and I'm getting my "monthly statement" right smack in the middle of my vacation. What a bummer.

I called the pharmacist who said I could try Seasonique and get my period every three months. When I told her I was already on birth control, she said that as I'm finishing my 3rd week of active pills, instead of taking the sugar pills (4th week), I could start the 1st week on a new second pack and not get a period that month- though she didn't recommend it.

"Or you could get pregnant and not get a period, though I don't think that's what you want," she said

"Yeah, ok you don't have to say that" I told her.

So as she cracked this joke, I took her less seriously and finished the call. I've never heard of skipping a period, or trying the 3 week thing.

I'd like to get your input before I call my doctor tomorrow morning, get put on hold and leave a message to ask her what I can do to delay or skip November's period completely.

Any information, comments or suggestions??

(I take TriSprintec, Target's generic birth control)

You never asked me to be yours [part 2]

[continued from Part 1]

Once back home from his birthday dinner, I started telling Sebastian that I had talked to one of my best friends recently about new developments. When I told her that I was going to Europe on vacation, I told her I was going with "my-ex-turned-friend-turned-open-relationship" at which Sebastian said "You mean boyfriend, right?" I gave him a blank look as he continued saying "Well, it's pretty obvious that we're together."

Without a flinch I told him "You never asked me to be your girlfriend."

"Well, I didn't think I needed to ask you. I mean, we sort of just fell back into it." he answered. "I mean, I'm not looking at marriage anything soon. To tell you the truth, I don't think I'll ever get married again."

"Um... that's ok. I'm not thinking of marriage. Plus, I don't know if I ever want to get married either."

It's a whole fairytale at this point. I think that's what I want. But I'm more interested in commitment. He doesn’t believe in monogamy forever. He doesn’t believe in marriage any more. I think his divorce had a lot to do with it and maybe I just met him at the wrong time.

As he left Sunday night, I said to him "No nookie when you're out on vacation in Redding next month."

He turned to me with a confused look and answered "No Ren, that's our thing. And I don't plan on looking for it elsewhere.."

So, I guess...... this makes us........ a couple?  Meh..... I didn't bother to ask again.  Both our statuses on Facebook read "single." I'm still tempted to assume that he's leaving it that way because he's not familiar wih FB. ;)

You never asked me to be yours [part 1]

Sebastian ended up coming over Friday night to have Unagi Don at my place. I had been craving eel for a few days, and couldn't bring myself to taking it out of the freezer and having it without him.

On Saturday, I went to one of my sister's fishing tournaments. I was hesitant to go because it was being held at a pond where there would be mosquitoes, but it was also one of the last weekends we'd be spending as a family while my grandma was still here. [She leaves to France next weekend]

I admit that I had a lot of fun fishing at the pond. It was a catch and release tournament for kids, but I even managed to catch a 2lb bass. It was awesome. My other sister managed to outdo everyone: In the last minute of the tournament, she caught a 7lb, 26in catfish completely surpassing the previous catch of 4lbs. She was very happy and managed to get the picture in the yearbook.

Then later that night, we went to a Disney on Ice show- totally meant for chicks. I was very surprised. I managed to get tears in my eyes because of how beautiful it was. I've always said that if something makes me well up in a good way, it's definitely worth it.

Sebastian ended up spending the entire day at my place on Saturday, though he wanted to return to his place to pay some bills; but since his birthday was on Sunday (#27) and I was planning to take him to a restaurant around my side of town, I asked him to stay.

I treated him to Fogo de Chao for his birthday lunch/dinner. A very pricey dinner that was. I've never spent $120 (+$20 tip) on dinner for two. It made me a bit nervous to hand over my credit card, but I figured that since he'd always been the one to treat us to dinner, I could do this once a year and hope it was a good dining experience for him.

to be continued on the next blog [my formating is completely off]

I'm sad- why can't you see it?

 Not everyone's perfect. And Sebastian is no different.

Now, I probably consider him the best in a "packaged deal" from all the guys I've dated and been in relationships with. He is/ has

• Good job
• Respectful
• Good mannered
• Funny
• Self-giving
• Great cook
• Spoils me (in good way)
• Good looking

However, I have noticed that there is one minor flaw which I have willingly overlooked time and time again- He is indifferent to my feelings.

He can't tell when I'm upset or when something is bothering me.

Sometimes I sense that he chooses to ignore it.

It happened last night as we were heading back to our cars. We had met up for dinner and done some shopping for some things when he mentioned "I take it you're not coming over tonight?"

"Um, no" I replied. I hadn't packed a bag assuming he'd be the one to spend the night at my place instead. So as he continued talking, I slowly started inching my way to my car and got in.

"Hey! You're not going to say goodbye?" he asked.

"Oh, bye."

"What? No kiss?" he, with a smile on his face, me, with a gloomy, sad look on mine.

Why couldn't you come over? You start work at 11 in the morning.

And we split ways. Once on the road, my eyes welled up with tears. I felt ignored, let down, and forgotten. When I got home, he called to talk as he put his stuff away, never once realizing that I was sad.

"You're not talking much tonight" he said

"I don't know." I responded, as he continued talking about his stuff.

I can't dismiss him as downright inconsiderate; I keep telling myself that the pros outweigh the cons. His "con" has always been his unability to distinguish my sadness with my disinterest. He won't rush out after me if I storm out of someplace; He'll just stay wherever he's at. He really won't console me if I'm upset at something he's done, because he just doesn't know he's been insensitive to me.

It sucks! Even though he likes to plan excursion and events months into the future, I can't put my heart into it; it feels like I'll never be allowed to fall in love with this person, because it's not for long term.

I understand that in order for him to know and understand what I'm feeling, I need to be vocal. Guys aren't mind readers, so when he asks "What's wrong?" and I say "nothing"  chances are he's going to assume nothing is wrong. 

 We've never gotten into a real fight. Maybe it's because we're still in the "honeymoon" phase; we haven't hit the one year mark yet. Then again, I feel like we can't argue because it's not our place to. We're not a regular couple. I'm not his girlfriend, he's not my boyfriend either. This "open relationship" has me walking on eggshells for fear that any negative aspect can send him walking away for good.

Am I a prude?

It's 2009 and I'm being conservative and safe with my health.

SEX

How do you know you're not making a mistake?

I can count the number of guys I've been intimate with on one hand. That's it. That's all it takes. 1, 2, 3, 4. In 9 years, I've only had 4 guys.

In those 9 years and 4 guys, I've only had to physically turn down 2 other guys that were already packing. Reason being? Sexually transmitted diseases. I'm scared shitless of them. That's quite the way to put a damper on a hot situation.

Roger* was one of the guys I had to turn down. We dated for a few weeks, and one night, met in a bathroom of a friend's house while at a party. At the time, I hadn't had sex with anyone since my last boyfriend, the previous year. One full year without sex, and it didn't bother me one bit. Actually- it just made me even more nervous to be intimate again after so long.

We locked the door behind us and he started fondling me. That night, I remember I was wearing one of these so I could fit into a tiny skirt:

He tried hard, but didn't get anywhere. The farthest he got was to pinch a nipple. I now consider it to have been my chastity belt. I haven't used one in a while now.

He had told me of how many partners he'd had, and that number terrified me. "I really don't know. About 30 or so."

Hmmm... yeah, ok no thanks. I'm not going to be a number on your list.

He tried hard to get me to follow him to his place that night, but I wasn't up for it. I couldn't stop thinking about the 30+ girls and any STDs he could possibly have. We'd never even discussed it because we'd never been really serious.

BEG became #2. We had talked about our bills of health and he had admitted from early on that he'd been diagnosed with HPV (something which I still don't believe because men cannot be tested for it) and oral herpes. He said he'd gone to the doctor when he'd noticed a white pustule/hair follicle near his penis. I can't remember where he said exactly; I've since forgotten. I asked him when was the last time he had been checked and he'd said "Right before my ex- 3 months ago. So if I got anything else, I got it from her."

After continued conversation, I found out he had slept with another girl after his ex, which was now making up 2 girls post test.  We took it pretty far, but I had to put the brakes when I felt a scab on his penis; I didn't see it because the lights were off. To this day he has not let the "I pleased you  and you left me completely hanging" argument. "I'm probably not going to let this one go for a while." he added.

So my personal feelings are that if we haven't spoken about STDs or shared our medical reports, I will not sleep with you. I know that reduces my chances for having sex by a great deal. I know there are many STDs that can be cured nowadays, but I can't shake the feelings about the ones that can't. And who's to say that the next guy I meet won't turn me down because I get herpes from one of these sexcapades?  Condoms don't protect against everything- especially not HPV.

Does that make me unrealistic or health conscious?

Put on weight and it's over

Sebastian has been asking me if I want to go work out with him (twice a week) at his gym. Though it sounds like a nice "couples thing" to do, I wouldn't drive 30 miles to work out at the gym he goes to when I have two branches within 1.5 miles (2.4km) from my apartment. No joke. That's what's great about Houston. Franchises pop up everywhere.

Earlier last week, I told him I had put on weight, and not just to try it out. I went up 8lbs (3.6kg) since I moved out. My pants are starting to fit too snuggly, and I can't button a few other tighter pants. I've had constant headaches for almost two weeks now. The pill popping does not work.

It's not that I've been eating junk food. No. I don't do that. I've just been eating a restaurants non-stop because I haven't been cooking at my place. Sebastian will take me out to eat at least once on a weeknight, and we'll end up eating at restaurants on the weekends. And then I eat out for lunch at a Colombian restaurant at least once a week. And those portions are big, and I usually finish it all.

That- and I don't exercise one bit.

Then one day, while we were driving, we saw a girl on the side of the street comparable to this:

"If you look like that, I'm sorry but it's over Ren" said Sebastian

"I wouldn't blame you" I answered to him telling myself that I'd never let myself go that far; However, a faint bell rang in my head.

This guy means business. He's giving me an ultimatum. Shape up, or ship out.

Then earlier this week, the bell started ringing louder. I get out of breath, and my blood starts pumping hard just getting up to the third floor of my apartment. I went bra shopping yesterday and was completely disappointed that I could no longer fit into my 36D anymore. I went up a cup and a band size.

Godmanit! It's time to lose the "lazy fat."
I want to try that fruit and veggies diet the pill popping officer did for two weeks, but without the pills. I know I'll have headaches from hunger, but I know I need to regulate my diet for the best. I know I'll never be thin like this. Let's face it, I don't even dream of myself looking like that. But I am totally digging the Kim Kardashian look. I just don't have her ass, but that's okay.

Your opening statement when dating online

A lot of my friends are against the idea of online dating. I had lunch today with my colleague, and while he mentioned frustration of being single 3 years after his last relationship, couldn't really wrap his head around meeting people online.

"But it's the best way to meet people who are looking for the same thing! How many times have you met someone and been faced with an awkward situation because you didn't know if it was appropriate to mention dating?" I told him.

What if the girl is dating someone else? Or not looking at all? How do you know unless she tells you? And if she does tell you, doesn't it sound a bit forward to volunteer that information? Maybe the other person isn't interested.

So it really brings up a whole other scenario- when and how is it appropriate to ask "Are you single?" when you're in the dark.

That's why online dating is so convenient. You're on a dating site. You're looking to date. Chances are, the other person is looking to date if they've got anything but "hang out" on their status.

I'm only going to give you guys SOME pointers on how to approach a girl. I will speak from personal experience to make it more realistic.

I recently logged back onto to my Plenty of Fish account to check the messages I'd neglected the past few weeks. I was disappointed in the poor choice of words my fellow gentlemen were using to try to woo me.

 Here are some example:

1. "Just wanted to say hi... hope you have a good day "
2. Hi how are you doing? I came across your page and i'd thought i'd say hi.You seem like a sweet girl.
3. How are you doing today sweety? Want to hang out? Call me or text me at 832-xxx-xxxx
4. Hi, how's it going?
5. Hello there! I am Marcelo I was looking around and saw your profile. Hope we can talk sometime, Take care!
6. Hi. You seem like a kind person. What was it like living in France?
7.  Hey whats up? Is that a real guitar in your hands or "Guitar hero" ? lol
8.  Hey whats up, my names Daniel. I liked your description I would have to say I am similar in a few ways. I don't get out much myself and I would prefer one-on-one conversations. Well I have to get on my way to work, but maybe I will hear back from you and we can start a conversation. Take it easy
9.  Hi. How are you doing?

  If I stay logged on any longer, the messages just keep coming. I gotta get off this thing!

Out of the following nine messages, only 2 seemed worthy enough of a response. Can you guess which ones? Numbers 6 and 7. Want to know why? Because they asked open ended questions.

[Number 5 was a repeat offender. I saw him during a New Year's Eve party last year, and we have chatted online. He just didn't remember me. Number 3 was just weird. I've never talked to you- why would I want to meet?]

See, that's the importance of making yourself stand out in online dating- CONVERSATION is key. You need to be a good topic starter if you want it to get past anything. 5 guys asked the same question- "How are you?" How does that make you stand out from all of the above? It doesn't even show me that you read my profile. I put some effort into creating it, so the least you could do is read it if you're interested in getting to know me- I mean, that's the whole reason why you contacted me in the first place, right?

A few weeks ago, I received a message from a guy that was at least two paragraphs (I wish I'd saved it.) It was very obvious that the guy wanted to meet, and even though I wasn't available for dating again, I felt I owed it to him to reply. Some guys get upset when they don't receive anything in return, and they become bitter with the whole experience. I could tell he'd spent quite some time breaking the ice, so he deserved a response. And I sent it to him-

Hello hello-


i'm sorry for the late response, and i didn't want you to feel like you did all that work for nothing. Your letter took a lot of effort, and i appreciate the time you took for it. THANK YOU. it was sincere, honest and very nice. i've recently gone back into a relationship, and i've had to cut out the search for that "special person" with someone new. i hope you'll understand and not be too upset that i can't accept to meet up with anyone with the intention of it going down a romantic path.


have a great day, and again, thank you for showing interest. it was very flattering. :)


I was honest. I couldn't meet anyone new while in limbo with Sebastian. I did meet 2 guys soon after we broke up this past summer, but I haven't met anyone new since our relationship got a bit more exclusive and he mentioned not dating anyone else on his behalf.

GUYS: You need to read her profile. If you find similarities, use those as a weapon- ask away! A simple "Hello how you doin'" will most likely not land you a response unless you are drop dead gorgeous......well, with the exception of one that I met actually....... but we just didn't click. [sigh]

Do not COPY/PASTE. We know that you're fishing, so we know that the "so what are you doing this weekend?" is probably the same question you asked the last five girls.

Personalize your message: You're trying to win here!
Length matters: The length of the message that is. One line is not enough.
Humor us: Don't you hear it over and over that we want "a sweet, sensitive guy who has a good sense of humor?"

We don't need you to be perfect. We just need you to be good enough to make us forget you're not perfect.

Driving around the World.

Trans World Expedition: Driving Around the World - Bing Travel: "When you're young and a student, you don't have money to travel, but when you're working and can afford it, you don't have time"

I started when I was very little. I was lucky to have parents that were open to adventure. Before my sisters were born almost 10 years ago this Christmas, my parents and I visited every major city in California. We had some great vacations. As a result, I've had the traveling bug since then. Here are a list of places of my favorite vacation spots-- some with family, others with friends.

• Within the US: Santa Barbara, San Diego, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Catalina Island, Las Vegas (my favorite city), NYC, San Antonio, Austin, Tijuana.
• Overseas: Vina del Mar and Valparaiso in Chile;  Paris, Bordeaux, Marseille in France.

And in just a couple of weeks, I'm continuing with London, Paris, Marseille and Rome.

It's important to me to experience the world. It saddens me when I hear people talk about how much they'd like to see the world, but do nothing to make it happen. I guess they have different priorities.

So when I read the article about this guy driving around the World, I was thinking "Wow. It's really possible? This guy's gonna do it on his own? He's going to have memories to last him a lifetime. Now that's priceless."

Personally, I wouldn't travel the entire world. It scares me. I've never considered couch surfing either. I think that as a girl, you need to be more prudent about that. But I wouldn't mind going through all of Europe or Latin America- where there are no major conflicts and I can speak the language.

The next domestic stop on my list will most likely be New Orleans; But there are A LOT of other places I'd love to go: Grand Canyon, Washington D.C., Niagara Falls.........
Next foreign stop I hope to be are Portugal/Spain, Venice, Florence  and Amsterdam.

I can only save up to make it happen at this point......

Cellulite, Spider Veins and Saggy Boobs

They all come with age. Or at least I want to assume they do.

Man, I feel sooooo bad for the women who have all of the following:

During recent years, I've noticed my mom has been showing more spider veins. She's 51 now, and I think a lot of has to do with how much problems she's had with her legs. She's had countless operations on her knees, and she's never been 100% perfect. She's always complained about the pain she feels, and she hasn't been able to run or exercise much since she was in her twenties.

I can understand her problem because I haven't been able to run since I was 20- when I tripped over a water hose in my backyard and landed on both of my knees. Luckily I didn't break them, but I've had pins and needles sensations since then. I can no longer squat or sit on my knees. I get a sharp sensation when I do.

After visiting a doctor, he told me that I had pain in my knees due to my anatomy. My legs bent inward. My dad was still convinced that it was due to me being overweight.

The other day, Sebastian made my day by saying  "You don't have cellulite on you. My ex-wife had it pretty bad"- Which lead me to believe that cellulite was not related to weight gain.

Now, if I squeeze hard enough, I do show signs:

But let's face it- I'm not going to squeeze for fun. Aparently, cellulite can be considered to be related to genetics as well as race. And dieting and exercise can make it better or worse. From what I can remember, my mom doesn't have it. She looks pretty damn good in a bathing suit. I'm very jealous.

Seeing all that makes me want to hit my ass to the gym even faster.

I'm swooning over an older man

Ok, so not really, but damn, I can't help but wonder what Sean Connery must be drinking to look the same 20 years later. Where is that fountain of youth?!

So it's obvious that he has lost hair as you may notice here:

But in his defense, it was only within the last decade of his life, and the guy is 79 now!

Holy crap! Man, I wish my future squeeze could look that good during the ages. Which leads me to think about how certain people deal with aging, and body issues.

Hmmm.... interesting topic.  I'll blog more tomorrow.

Why are all the men here?

I got a text from the Gorgeous Guy  last Friday; he's a guy I went on a couple of dates with late this summer. After the third date, I never heard back from him and it didn't bother me because I had realized we didn't have anything in common. He was a party animal with a PhD in Engineering, and we just didn't really connect. Conversations were a bit painful, but when I heard from him again, I couldn't help but think if he had the right number.

See, that's what I do. When a guy texts me out of the blue, months after we've last spoken, I always think "Did he text the right number? We haven't spoken in ages!"

So I'll reply, just to say hello, thinking it's one of those mass texts. But then a reply comes back, and it's obvious the person remembers you.

At the time, I was talking to Sebastian who was on his way over to my place for the weekend. I get Gorgeous Guy's text asking me how my evening is going, and I respond saying "Long time no hear. Staying Home. I'm sick."

He ends up calling me on my personal cell as I'm talking to Sebastian on my work cell; I don't answer. So he sends me another text asking me to pick up, but I respond saying that I can't because I'm on the other line. A few minutes later, I let Sebastian go and call my Gorgeous Guy back.

We talk for about 15 minutes, and he fills me in on some of the things he's been doing since this summer. "Travelling. I went to Qatar for a few weeks"

I forgot that he was a traveller. I guess that's the only similarity we actually share. He tells me of his plans for Halloween the next night, and I tell him I'm going to midtown for a pub crawl. Since he lives in the area, he tells me to text him to let him know where I'll be to meet up.

I never did. I was so sick that night that Sebastian and I went back home around midnight.

The next day on Sunday, I notice his missed call, but don't call back because I'm still hanging out with Sebastian. I know it may be bad for me to "ignore" call backs when we're together, but I don't feel comfortable having a conversation within ear shot of Sebastian with some guy I dated "recently."

So earlier this week, he messages me on facebook asking how my Halloween was, and he shows me a picture of what he was.

Nice. Considering the guy has a spectacular physique.

Then he mentions that there is a "Huge super important dynamo game on Sunday! You should come to it!"

Hmmm..... nah. I mean, the first game we went to was actually pretty fun, but I'm not a big soccer fan. I don't believe in spending money for something I'm not really into. That's like telling someone to spend $40 for a David Guetta concert when they don't listen to Electro house.

Actually, that would be Sebastian. We're going to one of his concerts in 2 weeks. I'm excited about that. And the only reason why Sebastian is going is because I'm going, and he's very open to new things.

Then yesterday, one of my UPS reps came over. The guy I had a crush on for about 6 months, with which we kept rescheduling dates because we always planned them too far out, stopped by unexpectedly at my office yesterday to "say hi."

Damnit! Why couldn't these guys come by sooner!

Aw..... he's jealous....

And that would be BEG.

You see, we're not dating anymore. Even though he said he'd wait for me for a while in case I changed my mind and wanted to pursue something with him, I knew I wouldn't commit to him.

So about 2 weeks later or so, he started dating someone else. Julia. I haven't met her, and I really don't want to either.

We still talk daily on Aim and through texts, but our attention spans have changed. He'll still surprise me with a "Hello" as I start my work day, but it's definitely not the same as it was before, and he "won't cheat on Julia" as he's told me repeatedly.

Is he worried that I may be a teasing threat?

Anyway, I haven't come out to admit that I'm going to Europe with my "ex-boyfriend-that-I'm-currently-in-an-open-relationship-with." I tend to keep that stuff private. The people who have noticed that "we may be an item" are the friends that have seen us out and about together.... like, for Halloween, or dining, or shopping. Or partying it up.

SO- today, I got my period! (read Plan B for details) and I mentioned to BEG that I was cramping.

BEG:  Maybe you should stop having periods, I think that helps.

Me: Yeah, but I'm glad I have one! LOL. That was actually pretty funny.

BEG: Why are you so glad you have one? LOL, have you gotten some recently ;-)

Me: Cause that's how we know we're not pregnant. It makes me wonder why some women would prefer to have 4 periods a year - heard about those pills? How will they know if they're not pregnant until it's too late?

BEG: So you HAVE! ;-) Very awesome. Are you dating the guy or just "relieving" stress?


I tried to be coy and change the subject. I didn't want to..... flaunt or brag.

ME: Huh? No comment?

BEG: How about this, just tell me if you're dating a guy or not. I'll assume the rest.

Me: Well, if I say yes or no, you'll know.

BEG:  How was it? :-) Details please.

Me: How was what? The sex?

BEG: Yeah

Me.: Painful. LOL. But you knew this already.

BEG:  True. I'm slightly jealous, LOL, I mean, I woudln't cheat on Julia but still, wish we did something before hand.

What's this I hear? Wishful thinking?

The guy that stares

I go to my college campus to use their wifi to blog. I don't have the internet at my new place for two reasons:

1. I insist on living a frugal life. Call me cheap, but I don't want to pay $40 a month until absolutely necessary when I start school again in the spring.
2. I would waste a tremendous amount of time each night browsing the net, and hardly get any reading done.

So with that, I have to drive the one block to my campus and set up in their commons area. For a while now, I've been going about twice a week, and have since noticed a shady character roaming around the hallways.

"Do you want me to come with you one day and make my precense known?" asked Sebastian.

"No, it's too far, plus you get out really late" I answered.

Though I admit it was incredibly sweet [enter gag reflex here] I resist to play the damsel in distress  as often as possible. Who knows, one day, I might really need to take him up on those favors but will have exhausted all my chances.

No, I will call upon you when extremely necessary.

So with that, I continue reading and writing on my laptop, all the while seeing this guy out of the corner of my eye staring at me as he walks wearing a backpack.

I'm usually there for at least two hours, yet I always see this guy just walking from one end of the building to the other.

Doesn't he have a class? What's he doing just strolling here?

I've crossed paths and glances a few times, and it makes me the most uncomfortable because he gives one of those nods as if to say "Hey, I'll be right over."

So yesterday, as I was reading through some blogs, I see him come up to my table. I can't remember how the conversation started.

Him: So do you have a class here?

Me: Um, no. I don't come to this campus.

Him: Oh, so do you go to U of H?

Me: Um, not yet.

Him: So what's your major?

Me: Accounting.

Him: Oh, I took an accounting class last semester.

Me: [silence]

Him: So where are you from?

Me: From around here.

Him: No I mean, where were you born?

Ok, this is starting to creep me out. I'm not about to tell my life story to a creepy stranger.

Me: California.

I lie. I feel like saying "France" will give him an even bigger urge to carry on a conversation.

Him: Oh that's cool. [silence] Yeah, I'm just waiting for my class to start. It's at 8:30.

I look at the clock. It's 7:30. And he's been roaming the campus since I got here at 6:00.

Me: You have a class that starts at 8:30?

Him: Yeah.

B*llshit. No classes start that late. The last class starts at 7:00

When he realized that I was more interested in my reading than talking to him, he quietly made his exit and continued roaming the halls, where I soon lost track of him.

At about 8:30, I decided to go back home and headed towards the front door.

What do I see?  The same guy exiting the building at exactly 8:30.

Huh. So where's that class he was telling me about?

Does this.....make me "narrowminded"??

I got a message from this random dude today saying he felt we had the same interests and wanted to talk. I checked his page, which didn't seem to detail any of our similarities. He wrote:

"Want to add. Your page needs like 2 forms of ID. lol Request and I'll make good on my word of QUALITY... :) "

I'm not one to add people just for the hell of it. I don't use myspace to meet guys or "network." My friend's list is rather small, and I prefer it that way because it's more personal. I know everyone by first and last name, and if that's not the case, that's because I found you or you found me due to our backgrounds (either French or Chilean), because I enjoy what you write (this is for you Stephanie) or because we met in person and then connected through Myspace.

I responded to him with the following:
"thanks for the kind words, but unfortunately, i won't add random people to my profile. my friends are the ones i know on a first and last name basis and also due to our nationalities. sorry you don't fit the criteria. but thanks for stopping by."

Realistically, I wasn't interested in adding a stranger to my list. I did that a few times at first, and there was awkward silence cause we never said anything else past the 2nd week. I guess he got pissed, and it's not like I'm taking it to heart, but this is what he responded:

"You didn't know your real friends at first. You had to get to know them. That's silly. Same as using race for bullshit criteria. I'm mixed -hispanic and black. If that bothers you then your narrow-mindness is a weakness. Deuce"

Is it just me or was he calling me a racist? I responded saying that I had no intentions on getting to know someone who completely turns on you cause they can't accept your reason.

I'm pretty sure anyone else would have ignored it, or just added the damn jerk, but since he'd written twice, I felt I owed him an explanation. It's just that it's a scary "world out there" and I'm trying my best to weed out the crazy nutcases who innocently pretend to share the same interest.

Any suggestions for the next time around?

Is it polite to......

Is it polite to offer information for weight loss when the person doesn't even mention it?

That's what happened to me.

So I'm not the slimmest person out there, and I know that I have extra pounds on me, but what really bugs me is when people openly suggest I try out a new herbal/pill remedy or diet that they've been following, when I haven't even mentioned anything about losing weight.

I don't talk about diets with these people. I'm currently comfortable with my own weight, or else, I would have done something about it.

Plus, the guys don't seem to mind. I think I win them over with my personality. That, and the big boobs seem to help out too. (I don't flaunt though. I've never worn a low cut shirt in my life. I'm very conservative in the way I dress)

Anyway, today, my secretary asks me "Not to get in your business or seem rude, but what size pants do you wear?" "Comfortably? I can wear a size 13."

See that's the problem I have with pants sometimes- or shirts for that matter. I have thin legs, but a belly and am top heavy. In other words, I think I resemble a chicken.

Even though I don't have an ass. I wish I did.....

That's me and my cousin in NYC this past April.

So my receptionist tells me that her daughter started this new treatment with  a doctor and a nutritionist. The daughter has a lot of clothes that don't really fit her anymore because she has lost 10 lbs so far. At first, I'm confused.

Is she giving me clothes or trying to refer me to a nutrionist?

 About an hour later, her daughter comes in and I say I notice some change on her. She's a police officer, so everytime I saw her, she'd be wearing her vest which made her look like a tiny hen.

When I was actively dating, I'd put "a few extra pounds" on my profile. When the guys would meet me, they'd all say the same thing: "You're not heavy. You're normal."

Thanks for the compliment.

I just wish the ones who really did use "A few extra pounds" were not "obese" like I saw quite a lot.

So the daughter starts going on about the treatment, and tells me it's actually a pill that she takes to suppress her appetite, and all she did was to eat fruits and vegetables for the first two weeks. In two weeks, she lost 10 lbs. Great for her.

So she gives their business card and tells me to expect to spend $200 for the first month and $50 for every month plus the pills as needed.

Ouch! In case you didn't know, I shop at the thrift store!

I, for one, don't want to use pills. I did buy them at one point, right when I had turned 18. Then I read all the side effects and warnings, and that was enough to make me go back to the store and return them. To me, pills are either placebos, or drugs with the same effect as speed which makes you burn calories faster. So it makes me a little uncomfortable when I have to say that I don't want to follow a pill treatment because

1. I don't have that kind of money
2. Don't believe in it (or else, I would have gone to GNC and bought myself a pack)
3. Don't think it's safe (if it hasn't been evaluated by the FDA)

My dad has always told me that the only way to lose weight is by cutting out junk food and exercising every day.

I've only done the first.

Happy Halloween!

So this Halloween season was a bit of a downer. I got sick a few days before and spent most of my time in bed. I had a terrible runny nose and was sneezing and coughing up a storm the entire time. Nonetheless, I managed to get dressed up with Sebastian and take my sisters trick-o-treating, and then went on to Midtown were a group of friends were already bar hopping.

It was terribly cold, and I was incredibly tired. We showed up at the bar probably around 10:30, met my friends and just mingled. It was packed. At one point we went to the bathroom and once we got back to our spot didn't see none of the people we were with. Was it safe to assume that we'd been ditched?

Around midnight, I began to feel drowsy and asked Sebastian if we could call it a night. Like the gentleman that he is, he agreed and we went back to my place. On the way back, he asked what time the Rocky Horror Picture Show was playing.

"Midnight" I said.

"Do you want to go?" he asked.

"Not really, I'm very tired. But if you want to go, we can go" I mentioned.

"No, it's okay."

The next day, we had a great late breakfast out on my patio. The sun was shining just right, and there was a cold fall breeze blowing through. We made a mess of my apartment and spent the rest of the afternoon just lounging around. Around 6 or so, we started cleaning up and  then went back to his place where he prepared Unagi Don- which is eel with rice. It was great.

At the end of the night, Sebastian said "This was the best Halloween I've ever had. I've never went all out to get dressed up. I had a lot of fun!"

Enjoy the pictures!

He wants to move

Sebastian lives 30 miles from me. It doesn't seem like a lot, but I know he's not 10 minutes away. Usually, it takes me about 40 minutes to get to his place. And when done 2-3 times a week, it adds up on my gas costs.

As I was talking to Sebastian one night, I told him "I wish you didn't live so far! It takes forever to get to your place. I love my area. I've got Walmart, Target, Randall's, HEB, (2 grocery stores) and CVS and Walgreens within ONE block of my apartment, you know that!"

"I knoooow........" he said "whiningly". "Ok, I guess I'll move out once my lease expires and my job moves back into downtown. There really won't be a reason to be all the way up North."

After Hurricane Ike in September 2008, J.P. Morgan Chase Bank moved some of their departments from downtown into the North after the building on Main Street sustained heavy damage against the Category 1 hurricane. One year later, and they are still at their offsite.

Sebastian continued saying "And who knows, maybe I'll even move into your complex and then we'll be thisclose. Your apartment is sooooo much better than mine."

Or we could move in together........

I thought about the prospect. One master bedroom and an extra room to accomodate our stuff. It would definitely save us on rent right?

I quietly mulled it over but didn't say anything out loud. I feel that as soon as I inquire about something that is very beneficial and positive to me, it turns out to be a complete negative pull for him.

We spend most of our weekends together now, and if we didn't live so far from each other, we could possibly see each other more often; even if he does go to the gym during the week, I could still spend time at his place doing some writing until he comes back that night.....

He has even suggested we work out together.

And this morning, I found myself thinking about it again, just to kill time.

Then I realized, No. It would most likely not happen. While I enjoy his company, and he enjoys mine (or at least I hope he does!) I can't help but feel a little anxiety to know that the freedom would be gone if we lived together. I would no longer be able to leave late at night at a moment's notice. In my opinion, there'd be boundaries, and certain rules that must be set prior to moving in.

However, I don't feel like I'd be the nagging one. Even if we  happened to turn into an exclusive item some day, it wouldn't bother me to clean up after the both of us. It's actually relaxing to me, almost therapeutic.

Hmmm.... interesting thought....... I guess we'll cross that bridge if we ever get to that canal.